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Entirely dependent on the tier of baby.

Tier 1 Baby: Does not cry and is born circumcised. Path is H --> GS TMT --> Apollo --> US President

Tier 2 Baby: Cries a normal amount and is eventually circumcised. Path is Georgetown --> BOFA --> Audax --> NFL Special Teams Coach

Tier 3 Baby: Cries always and is uncircumcised. Path is IU --> Harris Williams --> LLR -- > D-List Actor

 
[Comment removed by mod team]
 
[Comment removed by mod team]
 

Wait, how is your girlfriend likely to be pregnant in a year? Just hold on for a few more months and then you’ll be fine. Jeez

 

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