Prestige is ruining me
Does anybody know how to stop caring about prestige and what your next move is going to be? It's so incredibly destroying. Everything has been about prestige - from good grades to getting into a target to getting into good clubs to getting a good offer. Everything compounds and the problem gets worse instead of better.
My friends from high-school who are at non-targets think I'm insane. I get jealous of people doing better than me.
Honestly don't know what to do anymore. Should I just forget the idea of finance, start afresh?
The pursuit of excellence and high achievement should not be conflated with chasing prestige. You should always strive to be a better version of yourself, learn as much as you can and have the best opportunities that fit with your goals
The pursuit of high achievement rarely exists in isolation from prestige no?
Well this is the million dollar question
Not the commenter from above but not necessarily - a person who didn’t attend college could’ve went into paving driveways. Over time if they build a great driveway pavement business, that could still be high achieving despite not being “prestigious”
Correct, however it’s about how you view it and react to it. While you’re right that the two go hand in hand most of the time, you can still treat prestige as a byproduct not the main component.
You should get a hobby, marathons could be a good start. Hard to obsess over bs when you're running many hours a week
Intentionally humbling yourself and being content are two good ways to alter how you think. Finance isn’t necessarily a bad thing and you don’t need to leave but I have seen it corrupt some of my close friends.
when people ask what you do for work or future plans how do you answer? If you start with your title and industry that feeds into that mentality. I used to do that a lot until I got further in my career and realized 99.9% of people don’t care and the .1% that do are probably people I don’t want to be associated with anyway. When you’re asked or talking to people just say banking or say your coverage group and see how it changes perspective. You’ll realize the conversation goes much deeper.
back when I was an analyst I bought a car to show off and it had so many problems and ended up costing me a ton. That was stupid. Now I drive a beater cash car because I don’t care what people think. I am content because I can stash away that car payment and save for things I actually enjoy. I realized I don’t enjoy cars but I do enjoy other things. If cars are your thing do it, but make sure it’s for a good reason. This is the same with anything.
life is too short. Too many people live to work and attain some titles and what they perceive as success but the people who will be remembered more are the people who help others or contribute to society. No one is ever remembered as the VP/ED/MD of that BB. As soon as you can separate yourself from this inflated idea of what prestige is you can actually be happy in life. When I stopped being cocky or conceited or showing off I developed much more meaningful connections, met a partner who is with me for me and not for some idealistic view of what status I can achieve for her. I have modest processions but focus on giving back when I can and investing in my hobbies that I really enjoy. Look at this as a self reflection of why you feel that need to achieve this or show off and find ways to stop. Trust me, when you are constantly comparing and bragging your old friends won’t be friends very long. I’ve reconciled some relationships from before but some still view me as my cocky younger self. I convinced myself I outgrew them based on my work obsession but really they outgrew me.
I always look at it like when I finish treading the path of Eton/Exeter/Andover/Deerfield/Westminster -> WHYP -> GS Classics/MS/PJT/CVP/LAZ -> APO/KKR/BX -> HSW -> Tiger Cub -> Tiger Global I'll be satisfied with my life prestige and pursue hobbies, alternative careers and starting a family. This path is very achievable by your mid-late 20s.
Congrats on westminster
Produced 7 PMs, 3 Nobel laureates and highest Oxbridge acceptance rate
Stop caring about riding on the prestige built up by others and become prestigious on your own merit clown.
If you can only make decisions based on how you think others will perceive you, you're going to live a miserable life.
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