Currently dating a 6.7/10 (think “young Arianna Grande”), but personality is a 8.8/10 (extremely based politically and philosophically, can hold a conversation of relatively high substance). She’s slightly above my league, for reference.
The problem is that she’s not smart. She’s a super hard worker, but she has a learning disorder which means she has to work 2x as hard to keep up. Often relies heavily on my support as she’s consistently studying late into the night when I just want to relax, fuck, and watch HBO. Can often be stressful for me as she cries often about her situation and how she feels like she’s working so hard just to be in same position as those who party everyday. She’s also very lost on what she wants to do with her life and doesn’t have any passions.
I basically have 3 options:
1) Continue relationship indefinitely.
Pros: free convenient sex, emotional support, rarely lonely
Cons: emotional baggage, difficult to manage sometimes, minimal long-term wife potential, lack of motivational support, no upward mobility, less time for friends/hobbies
2) Slowly deprioritize relationship
Pros: allow for more time to explore exit opportunities, less time dedicated towards relationship
Cons: douche-y thing to do, could go bad
3) Break up
Pros: more career, hobby, friendship focused life; more time overall time; less career-induced anxiety; opportunities for more sex
Cons: more short term overall sadness if I’m not able to find supplements (could affect mental state and performance), no free sex, no intimate support, nobody who I can truly and genuinely talk to
Ultimately, I just don’t want a relationship to have any influence on my career. As aforementioned, my girlfriend relies rather heavily on me for support, and I don’t think she has conceptualized the harsh reality of investment banking hours. It’s difficult (but possible) for the relationship to work out long term, so do I just cut my losses?
What are your thoughts about college relationships in general?
Seems to me like you’ve made the decision boss. You know in your head the break up is best, but need confirmation to do so. The fact you’re making this post confirms this for me.
Anyway, I’d say break it off. Seems like you’ll be happier and more content long term. Sure it’ll hurt ms your life will have a small hole but you’ll get over it and tbh that’s just life. People and situations move on. Focus on yourself and your career.
If you find that you reaalllyyyy miss her, you can always reach out again. If that doesn’t work, you can live with the fact that you made the best decision for you.
Do you 🤴
Never happened!
If you're calling ADHD a learning disorder, she should be on Vivanse and it should be fine.
I was in a very similar situation before. You know already you are going to break up at some point. The sooner you do it the better it is for her and yourself also. Trust me, if these are your feelings you will wake up the day after the breakup feeling a huge burden has been removed from you
bluepill
English, please
Is she willing to raise kids? Really could care less about my girl's college transcript.
Drumpfy no one is talking about your 'virgin' (read multiple gang-bangs in a weekend) green-card mail-order bride, pls go give relationship advice on r/liberals or something
It's always amazing how this autist hands out relationship advice when he had to buy his own wife. And delusionally thinks that she won't leave him
He hasn't even realized that this is a finance forum, what in the world is an engineer (who doesn't work in Quant Finance) even doing here?
First of all, she was indeed a virgin, I would know since it was bloody. And second of all, it was not a mail order bride. I did not purchase her, I just happened to meet someone from another country and I have lived with her for some time while everything was remote. So cry more, incel
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