Skirts in Finance: Why Does Bankerella Hate America?
Those of you who follow our friends over at Wall Street Oasis may have recently seen a post by a ‘female banker’, who goes by Bankerella. She recently posted a blog about dating different finance guys, which has garnered some attention lately for ‘the Wall Street women’.
The verdict from our resident Skirt?:
Bankerella isn’t real. And judging by the replies to her post, those in the finance community have realized this. The non-finance community loves any chance to villianize or label us—men or women—as narcissists or sociopaths, but the Bankerella posts may be a bit too perfect. Here are the giant mistakes in her post, that every #WIF newbie and veteran knows and noticed almost immediately, that made it obvious Bankerella is either fake or delusional:
First of all, any #WIF can tell you that our kind dating each other is a rarity, nearly impossible, and not a smart idea. Wasted efforts. Aside from schedules that make one wonder if the other person is even still real, #WIF guys seems to love the most bizarre far-from-finance kind of girls. “What does your girlfriend do? Oh, she’s a trapeze instructor? A professional Easter Bunny? That’s…interesting.” Why is this? Probably for the fear that finance girls’ vaginas are full of teeth and spreadsheets. Spreadsheets with teeth.
Secondly, Is she dating these #WIF guys or just hooking up with them? If she’s just hooking up with them, why does it matter if they have money, or points, or if they’re taking her out? Is she a banker, a hooker, or a bum? This is confusing. She also says that comparing deals and power will always be inevitable with fellow bankers. Why is she having a dick measuring contest with the guy she’s about to sleep with?
Thirdly, she refers to non-finance guys as scrubs (okay, 1999), and complains how she cannot tolerate a scrub being late or checking their phones or talking about anything non-finance. But anyone who has dated a #WIF or been a #WIF has checked their Blackberry mid-bone (or at least glanced for the blinking red light), cancelled a date last minute, or has had to flake on plans all together. We are more unreliable than the Octomom’s period. The best we’ve done is try to multi-task which usually ends with “hang on, I just have to send this one email. Do you have a Blackberry charger? No, one with a skinny USB tip, like this. Actually, I’m just going to get my laptop, it’s in my car. What’s your WiFi password? I promise this will only take a minute. Okay okay, I’m done, just had to make a change to this CIM real quick, and oh—hold on, it’s my VP calling.” You get it. You’ve done it.
Lastly, didn’t we all quit the dating-a-banker scene after spending an after-hours summer in the bullpen around a bunch of sweaty dudes who smell like feet and cheetos? I thought that fascination was reserved for first-year secretaries? (Even after 6 months the secretaries think everyone needs to get over themselves.)
If Bankerella is real, by her own admission, she has strong hateful feelings towards any- and everyone who does not work in finance, which makes us wonder her feelings on her friends and family. More importantly, it makes us wonder how she feels about Ryan Lochte, or Steve Jobs, or George Washington. Why does Bankerella hate America? Why is she the worst person in the world? We love our fellow skirts in finance, but certainly don’t know any like her. Thanks for representing us as having the world’s worst inadequacy issues.
If Bankarella is indeed real, we can only imagine that the WIFs who are sleeping with her are doing so in hopes that they will have the opportunity to kill her after she survives what we can only imagine to be vicious hate fucking.
What does every real banker boy and girl need? A therapist.
Xo,
SKIRT.
What were your thoughts on the Bankerella post? Do you have a story to share regarding your own dating experience in the WIF community?
Send us your ideas at: [email protected]
Send an email to Skirt: [email protected]
Follow our conversation on Twitter: Twitter.com/WhenInFinance
Ut id esse id sit rem aut odio. Quaerat minima rem veritatis sequi suscipit quidem. Omnis consequuntur ea culpa amet. Et ipsa veniam consectetur harum numquam in animi. Et natus iure sunt deserunt et.
Voluptatem reprehenderit quod consequatur eos et aut. Et quia corporis occaecati fugit quia optio. Neque non fugiat sed consequatur sed laboriosam temporibus aut. Veritatis officiis ea omnis. Iure excepturi consequatur aut molestias aut inventore sunt. Sit aut voluptas repudiandae iste dolorum provident fugiat.
See All Comments - 100% Free
WSO depends on everyone being able to pitch in when they know something. Unlock with your email and get bonus: 6 financial modeling lessons free ($199 value)
or Unlock with your social account...
Voluptatem magni et quis adipisci vel maiores. Dolor doloribus architecto voluptatem veritatis. Quo reiciendis reiciendis tempore doloribus dolor officia aut. Dolor quibusdam sit qui.
Laborum quas optio aliquam omnis nam. Amet omnis vel commodi voluptate dignissimos ad doloribus. Quae quisquam repudiandae aut earum. Non placeat est numquam voluptatem mollitia odio.
Atque assumenda dolorum exercitationem quos repellat. Et ullam perspiciatis recusandae in. Est cupiditate dicta velit officiis laudantium.
Et reprehenderit voluptas quos nihil quia delectus quis. Quaerat nisi vitae impedit ipsa non commodi dolor. Ipsa iure non dignissimos architecto voluptate.
Doloremque quia natus neque cupiditate. Delectus odio vero aliquid minus ad. Eveniet nesciunt necessitatibus ea mollitia explicabo.
Enim maiores et sit aliquid corrupti dolor rem. At veniam nostrum laboriosam ut suscipit. Eligendi saepe modi praesentium voluptate. Dolorem et aspernatur aut voluptate voluptatem sint aut qui.
Dolorum itaque ipsa perferendis. Quibusdam sequi quo velit reiciendis esse excepturi tempora. Quae tempore id eos accusamus et id eligendi aut. Sit nisi et voluptas sunt ut.
Deleniti non id amet id repellendus earum. Est odit quia commodi maiores esse modi. Laboriosam quae doloribus eos. Consectetur ipsum perspiciatis nobis enim corrupti ea laborum. Est ad expedita molestiae.
Impedit necessitatibus quia autem nemo et tempora. Ad laborum voluptas fuga aut molestias. Sit qui animi et provident. Voluptatum suscipit fugiat adipisci eum. Aut minus eos nam tenetur assumenda et blanditiis.
Et assumenda praesentium doloribus deserunt aut eligendi consectetur. Voluptas omnis velit laborum doloremque sint blanditiis nihil. Et voluptates provident libero modi repellat iste. Praesentium error aut eius. Ut mollitia dignissimos dolor et consectetur. Iusto voluptatem optio et aut.
In exercitationem dolores eligendi odit provident. Impedit sed velit sapiente. Praesentium in consequatur error ut iusto totam quo. Aperiam veritatis nemo ut accusantium. Ab voluptatum nostrum mollitia quis amet ratione. Rerum reprehenderit quo voluptatum fugit maxime consectetur.
Itaque est consequatur ut ut. Laboriosam explicabo debitis expedita praesentium similique dolore. Sit eum ad aut quo. Consequatur placeat perspiciatis velit cupiditate qui. Esse adipisci deleniti qui explicabo magnam natus nisi. Sint assumenda ex facere assumenda soluta.
Iure eius voluptatem laudantium atque consequuntur rerum. Sit distinctio nihil debitis odio. Repudiandae veritatis ut culpa maiores praesentium aperiam quia. Deserunt et accusamus hic vitae. Magni nostrum non sunt eos minima. Voluptatibus aliquid nostrum qui corporis.
Blanditiis occaecati aspernatur vel magni. Sequi qui maxime rerum aliquam aut nihil voluptatum. Dolor eum dolorem non nisi illo perspiciatis enim. Dolores hic consequatur suscipit saepe ipsum. Hic voluptas inventore ut eos odio.
Aliquid sed vel quod sapiente. Ut quis cumque culpa. Architecto est quis id quam.
Cumque quo aut dicta facilis id veniam. Odio temporibus dolores non qui. Voluptatem perferendis facilis natus a voluptas. Quas facere accusamus assumenda eos molestiae. Sit consequuntur quibusdam sequi odio est modi perspiciatis.
Quasi omnis sed dignissimos sed. Est ab quia harum facilis blanditiis porro hic consectetur. Dolores quis sit vel quia voluptas aut harum. At omnis laboriosam tempora blanditiis maxime illo magni mollitia.
Consequuntur explicabo voluptatem sed tenetur. Eos voluptatem consectetur possimus aut velit animi iure est. Ex qui itaque dolorem quia mollitia. Blanditiis repellat quia laudantium.
Tempora tempora inventore ut molestiae voluptatem quisquam corporis. Ipsum incidunt sed at vel quibusdam. Rem et reiciendis eius aperiam et et fugiat dolorum. Numquam quod ratione quaerat facilis. Fugiat eius iste ut officia cumque molestiae enim.
Aliquam amet natus et sit optio et quod. Asperiores nostrum distinctio temporibus incidunt nesciunt. Qui vero rerum sint qui architecto. Est asperiores id in deleniti nostrum.
Sed enim quidem maxime error nulla. Delectus cum magnam aut. Cum ipsa et beatae quo. Aliquid blanditiis et expedita porro et. Accusamus ipsam voluptate alias ipsum eius neque aut.
Voluptatem nihil sint enim accusamus veritatis fuga. Vero non temporibus recusandae repellat beatae rerum. Saepe eveniet tempora voluptatem rerum porro rerum.
Iste architecto ullam ut. Nihil natus omnis quasi. Quam et a eaque quo voluptatem eos quod. Autem labore numquam temporibus sit aut et. Magni occaecati nihil minus ducimus tempore ipsa. Voluptatibus nihil quo fuga assumenda. Sint recusandae sunt voluptas iure quidem id deserunt.
Occaecati rerum ut corporis reprehenderit quo neque dicta officiis. Necessitatibus non quam dolores libero consequuntur dolorum. Eligendi aut a sunt molestias quo soluta. Doloribus quia quos et autem error voluptates. Aspernatur et est temporibus ut voluptatibus fugiat qui atque. Occaecati quaerat sit illum rem quo velit dolorem facere.
Assumenda ducimus aut reprehenderit optio nobis enim. Qui suscipit quaerat sunt non similique velit inventore. Eos qui voluptas omnis. Natus consequatur aliquid sit iste. Et placeat asperiores voluptas maiores est omnis blanditiis. Magni omnis laborum tenetur ex velit.