Monkeys, I'm feeling a little down bad rn thinking how I messed things up with a great girl because I didn't have the confidence or belief that I could really win her over another guy. Would love to hear some stories if any of you were able to get someone you cared about back.
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The most important thing is to not chase after her desperately.
Based on what you tell us you never had her in the first place.
She and I dated for 5 months but we weren't exclusive bc I never had the balls to tell her how I felt. She and I had a lot of mutual friends...half of which said she liked me, the other half said she didn't. My biggest concern was that she would only really seem to want to hook up with me when she was either really drunk or during a party at which point I would reject her bc I'm too nice (beta thing to do haha). She lives on the West Coast so I didn't see her all summer. When I got back to school this fall, I waited a month to text her but it was too late. She started dating the douchey President of Sig Chi in September and has never looked back. I've seen her at parties and shit and she's always said, "Let's grab dinner some time!" or something along those lines but I know I'm so deep in the friendzone that I've just told her I'm busy and probably won't have the guts to talk to her ever again.
How do you know you're in the friendzone and she's not really interested?
I ain’t swettin what I ain’t gettin.
Never Happened
If you lose women, you're the problem. If women aren't losing you (sans the ones you choose), you're the problem. Quit being a problem and better yourself.
I'll tell you a story: every anime ever, go watch one of those if you need inspiration
The key is to grab her boobs without warning, that'll make her instantly attracted to you
Move on don’t waste your time on her
They only come back after you move on and don’t care about them anymore - speaking from experience
Yeah man, like what the fuck is their deal? So fucking annoying when they do this.
It’s not just women - you probably do it too. It’s perfectly normal to be more interested in someone who doesn’t have time for you compared to someone who is 100% available all the time.
You see this with platonic friendships too.
I lost someone that I am trying to get back with. It was due to my lack of communication and confidence, I have thought of her almost every few days since then. For me, it’s impossible to move on, unless I hear a loud No, and I have met enough women to know why I was in love. We will see how this goes…
You'll never get her. Your pathetic simp behavior is only encouraging more women to adopt a toxic stance towards men. She's getting railed without even thinking about you; if you have any self-respect, cease immediately your foolish pursuits.
The key is to not give a fuck about her. Read the comment right above your's. Act like you don't give a shit that she's gone and start talking to other girls. She will like you then.
You gotta keep it moving man. She moved on as should you. If she never mentioned any feelings she had than most likely she just liked your attention and that's why she wants to "catch up and get dinner" because she knows you'll give her attention or she just feels bad for ghosting you earlier.
You're in college. Focus on the next one and bettering yourself. This is often when women come crawling back (whether you want her at that point is for you to decide although I lean towards no almost all the time).
Thanks, I needed to hear that
Of course man. Most people have been in this situation, hence why I can give advice. It will definitely be hard at first, but time itself along with keeping yourself busy will help a lot. You are also in college so just get back out into the social environment and you'll find someone else better quick and then you'll look back at yourself and wonder why you were so hung up. You got this.
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