Mod Note: Best of Eddie - click here to see the 2013 version.
The Street Before Christmas 2011
by Edmundo Braverman
The year of the protest that stunk to high Heaven
The year that the Eurozone went straight to the Devil
And DSK took room service to a whole other level
The Vampire Squid takes a well deserved back seat
As top billing this year goes to Occupy Wall Street
The hipsters and lowlifes invaded Zuccotti
Without a single thought given to showers or potties
And declare what they're owed by the vile One Percent
There's a lot wrong with Wall Street; they did have a point
But you have to do more than play drums and smoke joints
This year oil traders had reason to sing
As crude bounced around for the whole Arab Spring
Revolts through the Mid East saw democracy broaden
And the SEALS finally croaked Osama bin Laden
Short sellers made CEOs lock up their daughters
None moreso than Carson Block's Muddy Waters
Plenty got hurt but I'm thinking the sorest
Had to be John Paulson on that miserable Sino-Forest
This was also the year of the doomed IPO
with offering after offering of Web 2.0
Underwriters smiled and passed the Grey Poupon
But the market was bleak for LinkedIn, Demand, and Groupon
If you're looking for something to warm your cockles
How 'bout the idiots in Congress and the debt ceiling debacle?
The Tea Bagger loonies took us right to the brink
And proved to the market that they wouldn't blink
Many in the U.S. were feeling betrayed
after Standard and Poors issued a downgrade
Apparently investors thought they were liars
as the yields dropped further with plenty of buyers
Speaking of pols who are easily berated
New York's own Tony got himself #Weinergated
There's just no excuse, not even blind drunk
for trolling the web and tweeting your junk
We can't hoist the egg nog and sing Auld Lang Syne
Without doffing the dunce cap to Jonny Corzine
A billion went missing while he was the chef
This guy gives new meaning to the letters MF
It's been a hell of a year, kids; one for the books
Some of the top guys are looking like schnooks
But that's how it works when you play this game
Winner or loser, you're never the same
But play you must and play you will
Take no prisoners and grab that skrill
Play for keeps, play like you're hell bent
I mean, what else is there...
Haha great closer. Well done once again, Eddie.
Perfect! What a year.
Well done as always, Eddie.
Bravo!
Haha very nice! Merry Christmas!
Nice, Happy Santa Day!
encore encore
Brought tears to my eyes ;) Bravo!
Hahah died @ Corzine line, good job
Actually cracked up at my desk. Good show sport
Cheers boss!
very well done - great effort!
One of your best! Thanks, and Merry Christmas, Eddie.
Merry Xmas! What a boss one this year. Fuck the 99%.
Eddie, you are a gentleman, a scholar, and a class act! Merry Christmas to you and yours!
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