The Women I Date Made My Career Banker Mom Cry
Curious situation, coming to the council for guidance-
Currently a Jr at respectable NY shop and have no plans of leaving, I’ll probs stay in IB forever and I’m 100% ok with that.
Have plenty of family across the industry, most notably my Mother has been a career banker herself and is currently Coverage Exec at a BB (JPM/Citi/BofA) in the Tier 2 city I grew up in (Boston/Chicago/LA). She’s the reason I’m in banking and we’ve always had a good (albeit distant at times) relationship. We speak daily and she’s been great support helping me through the first few years of banking. Make no mistake she wasn’t making dinner, driving me or siblings to practices, or helping with homework at any point in my childhood but I knew she worked hard, respected her for that, and hold absolutely no grudges, consciously.
Looking back, growing up and in college I always dated women like her (4.0/D1 athlete/type A/etc) but since moving to NY I’ve exclusively dated the Nurturing/Pilates/Soft-girl types. She met the latest (latter) on her last visit to NY and next convo over dinner went like this:
Mom: “Olivia (fake name) is a nice girl, she’ll want to be a SAHM/Housewife though”
Me: “that’s fine, she’ll be great at that”
Mom: “don’t you want a woman on your level who challenges you blah blah blah”
Me: “That’s ridiculous, work challenges me plenty, want to relax when I’m offline”
Mom: “You wouldn’t marry a professional? What do you think of my career path?
Me: “I wouldn’t marry another banker, no. It’s nice having someone that can take care of the home stuff”
~Silence~
Wasnt thinking clearly when I said it and immediately felt the pit in my stomach for how she’d interpret that one and for one of the only times in my life I saw her tear up. Reflecting afterwards and after a few years in the industry myself, I think I shattered the decades-long imagine she thought i held of her as a career boss-lady to neglectful mother, which 1) not what I think 2) isn’t fair to her at all as my father didn’t chip in to help any domestic duties either.
We’ve spoken since but it’s been hollow, she’s really off her game. Get the feeling she’s a bit shaken from the whole encounter and I really hurt her feelings like I haven’t before. Speaking with siblings on how to course correct but if someone else has been in a similar situation and gotten through please let me know.
EDIT: My mom is not single you heathens
is your mom single?
compute the present value of the terminal value from the Unlevered Cash flows
Assuming this is serious and you have a good relationship with your mom, this sounds like a fairly easy fix.
Call her up and directly address what you said.
In it state
Is ur mom single
Don't worry. Men will never understand women (not even your mom). Only women know women, and they hate each other.
Congrats on girlfriend/mom!
Only read like the dialogue part but you did not do anything wrong and should not be shamed into apologizing for having very reasonable preferences
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