What is the supidest thing you've done and got away with ? I'll start.

Hi guys,I love these posts and I thought I would share a little story of mine, feel free to share yours so we have a blast.Mine is pretty chill in hindsight but I literally thought I was done when it happenned and wondered why the fuck I was so stupid.The context is simple I just got recruited for my first finance role ever at a small regional office and I was really excited tbh. 2 Weeks into the internship I understand that the pressure is really low and I basically can chill at work, get my shitty pay then go home at 6PM with all work done and dusted. Its thursday, I left early and wonder what to do for the evenning since I went to the gym at noon and therefore don't need to go after work. I call a friend of mine and ask him if he's down to go out and get  couple drink : fuck no. I send an instagram dm to another close friend, same response.At this point I'm demotivated and start to resign myself to staying at home and go to bed at 10 (lol if I had known), before entirely giving up I try my luck with one last friend, I am tip-toeing because I fear he sees me as desperate :" hey bro ! How is it going ? Well... I was wondering if by any chance you were eventually thinking of going out tonight... you know get a few pints you know... Maybe a shot...". His answer is amazing, dude tells me that he is at the bar rn for a birthday (with his blonde friend I barely know) and tells me to get my ass there ASAP. (Note that I literally live 3 streets across from that bar).I dress-up switfly stuff a condom in my pocket yah know.. and go to this bar, which is known to be one of the cheapest in the city (they also offer pints and shots to regulars) I couldn't be any happier. The goes very well, we have a blast and since the girl celebrating her birthday works at this bar part time it's almost open bar lmao. We go to the club since no one wants to go home at this point and over the next few hours I absorb an obscene quantity of various alcohols and proceed to burn my bank account. We leave the club at 2AM which is relatively early and carried by a shared momentum of maturity decide to book ubers, which is ideal because we all basically leave in the same neighbourhood. This is went it starts to get shitty: We are literally unable to book a fucking Uber. In the middle of a living city at 2AM. My guess is that the oil crisis made it almost unprofitable for indenpendant VTC to operate and therefore there is no one taking our order. It's raining and before we even realise more than an hour has passed. We end up taking a taxi for 3 times the price and head home relieved. I cheeck the hour : It's 5AM, I still have a good 20minutes of walk to my appartement and, oh shit, I haven't eaten. I open my door and rush to the toilets to throw-up (sick metabolism i have here :') ). I go to bed completely wasted and fall asleep instantly.I am woken Friday morning by the sound of the cleaning staff of my building and the bright white sky of Paris. that's when I realise: It's 11AM, I have 5 missed calls from my boss and various colleagues and no excuse. I quickly respond to him via SMS and tell him I could'nt get out of bed because I'm sick and might have covid. He says :"Ok take care. Don't forget to submit your test results". I am pretty confident in my photohsop skills but I take this to another level. I calmly go to the pharmacy next door take a test and of course it's negative. Then I open my laptop change the status of my test results and send them to my boss. that's when he hits me with : Ok send me your formal Work leave certificate. Oh shit shit shit. How am I supposed to get that ? I'm fucked since you need to have a registered positive covid test linked to your SS number and I lied about being positive. At this point my head is spinning and I am trying to think of the easiest way to catch this fucking virus before I get caught.Fortunately I remember that I have friend pursuing medical education. I call a friend who is interning in a pharmacy and ask him if by any chance it's possible to make a fake true positive covid test. He laughs at me and says you're lucky fucker. 2 hours later I receive a notice : I have covid, at least officially... I quickly make my certificate send this to my boss and fucking get away with it, just like that.Fellas keep your friends from highschool.Sorry I Gotta go it's thursday, its 6PM and I am meeting some friends by 8PM tonight, we might go to the club.Yours,NTS