What it means to fight for your life. To fight for your physical independence. To fight for mobility.

I saw my Mom fight today. She's been confined to a wheelchair for almost a year after breaking her hip. Her medical advisors said they didn't want her to walk again. Yes "didn't is the key word." Easier for them to handle. Wheelchair until death. She has severe dementia and they said patients with dementia don't respond well to verbal commands in physical therapy. She is 85 years old.

But, today she said in her mind EFFF WHAT THEY THINK, i'm gettin outta this chair. She tried to get out. She couldn't get out of the chair. She kept rocking and pushing and finally accepted my outstretched hands for support and got out of the chair. She stood tall for 45 seconds for the first time in a year. It was such a glorious moment. I was so proud of her and proud to share this moment that I will never forget. My Dad was there too.

After 45 seconds she had to sit back down in her chair. This time she tried to get out of it herself and couldn't and yelled loudly "I CANTTTT." She is not one to speak much, so when she talks it really means something. But, she didn't scream out "I can'tttttt" to give up. No, she said mentally "I can't right now, I can't yet" and she pushed harder and tried again and I helped her and she stood up and took a step. I didn't want her to get too far away from her wheelchair so just helped her stand for a bit until she couldn't anymore.ย 

When my Mom used to have a tough tennis match, she told me she would often think of her son going through tough training with the Navy SEALs and have what it takes to finish the match. I know she had that drive today. Thinking of family to help her get through it. And when the tries came to a stop (4 tries to stand up), she was happy and very affectionate, kissing my hand about 20 times in 40 minutes.ย 

What a Good Friday it is today.

My Mom was also previously a top 5 ranked Tennis player in the nation in her age group and sponsored by Prince.ย 


Isaiah_53_5 ๐Ÿ’Ž๐Ÿ™Œ๐Ÿ’Ž๐Ÿ™Œ๐Ÿ’Ž thatโ€™s amazing that she has some fight in her. ย If she wants to get out of her wheelchair and youโ€™re around, you can assist her out of her chair every time you visit. ย You donโ€™t need permission from the doctors or anyone. You can take it further and borrow a gait belt from the facility to support her while she tries to walk along two stable objects for like 10 feet each way. ย For my dad who also broke his hip and had vascular dementia, I would move the facilityโ€™s sofa and table and create a makeshift parallel bar. ย Tow the wheelchair behind you and her as she walks when she wants to sit. ย It felt so good to have him moving and improving his circulation.

Iโ€™m not a doctor or anything, just someone who doesnโ€™t believe in canโ€™t. ย For our generation (Millenial and younger), the word โ€œpalliative careโ€ is so antithetical to what weโ€™ve been conditioned. ย That we canโ€™t do anything for our parents when they reach their time and just watch them die. ย Will be interesting and inspiring how the next generations deal with end of life of parents (in a world of endless possibilities). I experienced this earlier than my peers due to having an old dad with heart disease, and no mom.ย 

These stories will occur more and more. ย Only a matter of time.

Have compassion as well as ambition and youโ€™ll go far in life. Check out my blog at MemoryVideo.com

Youโ€™re going through an amazing period of your life right now, witnessing some things people are too pre-occupied to see. Family above all else. Nothing is more important than blood.ย 

โ€œBestow pardon for many things; seek pardon for none.โ€


What caused her dementia in the first place

Its hard to say what caused it, but over the past 10 years there has been a gradual decline. First short term memory loss, then long term memory loss, now she can barely even speak.ย 

"If you always put limits on everything you do, physical or anything else, it will spread into your work and into your life. There are no limits. There are only plateaus, and you must not stay there, you must go beyond them." - Bruce Lee

This is amazing, I love to see it. I lost my mom a few months ago from cancer and watched this progression we thought would be years happen in a span of months. But itโ€™s crazy how our perspective changed and what seemed like simple tasks like literally eating something or getting a smirk out of her quickly became the biggest wins that made everyone smile because we knew how hard it was for her to even to do that. So awesome that your mom is powering through like that


I've seen this happen to a family member, and I know it's one of the hardest things to witness, and to wish you could do something to make it better.ย Also, when involving your mother, it is uniquely hard on a son, and is indeed heartbreaking.ย While difficult under the circumstances; enjoy these uplifting moments and memories, and take every opportunity to celebrate everything.

Cherish and celebrate every moment.

Great post.

Investor (30+ years); IB/RE/PE/Corp. Exp (MD level); currently, head of boutique private equity firm; principal of family office.

This is a great and inspiring story about your mom's strength and determination. Her tenacity and desire for independence in such a difficult situation is truly impressive. Your support and presence were also important at this moment. This experience, despite its short duration, will forever remain important in your life and will be a reminder of the strength of your mother and the meaning of family bonding.


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