College orientation had to go at beginning of day around 10am and held it until like 5pm. Absolute huge dump - had never taken one that looked like the emoji, but this was exactly that. Yellow-green and was a mountain rising out of the water.
Had a huge dump today bc ate lots of hummus yesterday.
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Whoever gave me monkey shit, stand up. Dumps are a natural part of life and everybody has a funny story about it.
Not me, but me and my mates were at a club back in 2019. Buddy of mine went to take a shit in the dingy bathroom and claims that was partially cracked in the bowl of the toilet, and when he apparently violently exploded with a lard the size of a golf ball the force hit the crack and the toilet bowl broke. He was laughing his ass off so we walked in and literally saw the toilet in pieces and water and shit everywhere. So he quite literally blew up the toilet.
Yesterday, I indulged in a massive feast of spicy tacos and buffalo wings with my friends. Little did I know, this feast would come back to haunt me the next day. As I sat in the bathroom, feeling the cramps in my stomach intensify, I knew I was in for a long haul. After what seemed like hours, I finally passed the biggest dump of my life. It was a sight to behold - a monstrosity of brown and green that looked like it could have weighed a few pounds. The smell was so bad that it made my eyes water. I couldn't help but feel both proud and disgusted at the same time. It was a lesson learned - never underestimate the power of spicy food and its consequences.
https://www.wallstreetoasis.com/forum/off-topic/paying-attention-to-plu…
Macy's in Manhattan a few years back.TLDR; I unintentionally tested the bounds of my ability to clench and sprint which lead to a frantic search for a bathroom.I have a terrible habit of waiting until I absolutely have to (save the lecture on my health) and Macy's was the closest "sure-thing", so on we went. I get there to find my sure-thing bathroom in the lower floor was down for maintenance and I was entirely unaware of the location of the other male or, at this point, family bathroom in the store, but the clock was ticking. Oh, and my phone, along with my wife's was on the cusp of dying. Nevertheless it was decided I should run. I get to the 3rd floor and I'm sweating from both the running and nerves as I mentally was preparing myself for the worst. S***ing my pants in public. The third floor seemed to be yielding no positive results so I found myself a lovely corner with low foot traffic. As I settled in, there it was, seemingly glistening in the distance and as though it had appeared out of thin air, the restroom. What left me that day was unholy and to this day my wife and I gauge our level of discomfort in a time of need with a "macys moment" being the peak.
Shit myself walking back from the college bar after having like 4 zyns. College bar locks the bathroom so couldn't shit and house was like .5 miles away. Literally had to stop and clench multiple times.
Funniest part was that it was a themed night at the bar and I wore jorts that immediately got tossed in the garbage.
Best worst shitpost ever?
i'm taking one right now as i type this
10 years old. Playing super smash bros at a friends house. Don't want to leave but feel nature's irresistible call. Did not feel comfortable using friend's bathroom for some reason, don't remember. Eventually I realized there was no choice and got up and left, already reeling from cramps. Staggered my way towards home but only made it halfway.... Enough said....
My story isn't quite as horrible as one would expect; at least there's no self-soiling involved.
Beyond the few thousand individually-grotesque MRE Dumps I've been blessed with in my time (Isaiah freel free to expand on this point), I'd say my most memorable dump actually happened a few weeks ago, when I had what was easily THE LOUDEST SHIT OF MY CAREER.
The mass of the movement? Nothing memorable. Nor was the consistency.
But you remember that SuperSoaker you had when you were a kid? Remember when it was low on water but you still pumped it a whole bunch and tried to spray it at somebody?
That SPPSPTPSPSPPPPTPPSTS that it made?
That.
I came in from lunch that day (To be fair I was extremely hungover and had ordered the 'Diner Breakfast Plate' at my usual lunch spot) and could barely contain myself upon my return to the office.
Now, the Men's room in my building sits back-to-back with the Ladies' room, so It's not uncommon to hear flushing / doors closing / etc. through the wall while you're doing your business.
But upon this day, I heard much more. As I began to unleash the gurgling horror from my inner chambers, I started to hear an unusual amount of flushing coming from the room opposite mine. As the gurgle-sputtering continued, the flushing noises soon gave way to coughing, that soon evolved into audible gags and retches.
As I continued to expel the demons that dwelt within my guts (to the tune of something I can only adequately transliterate as "GGHHHUUURRRRKKKKKK"), I heard the telltale sound of retching, turned into heaving, reaching crescendo finally as the unmistakeable splash of fluid upon tiles.
The exorcism complete, I righted myself, flushed the ~4-5 times it took to completely hide the evidence, and washed my hands of the matter as I listened to the sound of the ladies' room door slamming, followed by the unsteady beat of my nauseous victim's footsteps slowly dying away.
It is only by Divine Providence that I manged to keep a straight face as I returned to my desk.
I remember one when I was about 16, I felt the floor shake as it hit the toilet bowl, good stuff
9.5 courics my freshman year
I did the blazing challenge at BWW and killed a 12 pack of light beer after. Next morning it was like a burning volcano.
Exercitationem laudantium et earum laborum ipsum. Officiis ut aut qui.
Expedita occaecati quo ea quo. Omnis eius et distinctio provident incidunt. Odio iste quaerat ab rem fuga ut.
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