When did you finally start feeling like an adult?

Early 20’s and would say halfway through this year is when I started feeling like an adult. Recently had a family get together and realized I spent most of my time with the adults talking about adult stuff.

Not really a distinct shift, but I know over the course of the year is when I started becoming more mature. Would say it started happening after my dog died.

Do you ever actually grow up? I feel like I’m the same college kid who funneled Four Lokos and did stupid shit, but now I just don’t funnel Four Lokos and do stupid shit. Yeah I’m not broke anymore and have money and a job, but I still feel like I’m “me”, just that “me” has changed.

25 Comments
 
Stonks1990

About to turn 32. Half the time I feel like the man and can conquer the world. Other half I feel like I'm 14 and have no idea what the fuck I'm doing

Little older than you, but same feelings. The flipside of winning the over/under on "how old do you think I am?" at the office at a shocking rate, but going home to pay bill after bill instead of going to happy hour.

The poster formerly known as theAudiophile. Just turned up to 11, like the stereo.
 
Stonks1990

About to turn 32. Half the time I feel like the man and can conquer the world. Other half I feel like I'm 14 and have no idea what the fuck I'm doing

One of the biggest secrets in the world is that everyone feels like this but doesn't want to admit it. Even a 60 year old MD still feels this way at least partially.  And sure, what we show to the world 99% of the time is the confident and strong adult, deep down we're all still a kid in some small way at any age.

 

18 - when I joined the military and was willing to die for my country. 

"If you always put limits on everything you do, physical or anything else, it will spread into your work and into your life. There are no limits. There are only plateaus, and you must not stay there, you must go beyond them." - Bruce Lee
 

Thx 🙏🏼 

"If you always put limits on everything you do, physical or anything else, it will spread into your work and into your life. There are no limits. There are only plateaus, and you must not stay there, you must go beyond them." - Bruce Lee
 

Isaiah_53_5 💎🙌💎🙌💎

18 - when I joined the military and was willing to die for my country. 

Maybe different for you personally, but I think it's an interesting question to explore. Were you willing to die for your country because you were still a kid and thought like one or were you willing to die for your country because you had become a man? I think you can look at it both ways depending on the person and situation.

Had a good bit of friends who after a few tours of duty in the Middle East realized that they didn't join because they were men but were instead kids who didn't know any better.

 
NoEquityResearch

Isaiah_53_5 💎🙌💎🙌💎

18 - when I joined the military and was willing to die for my country. 

I became a man when I decided to let patriotic kids die for my country while my 401K and property value grows. Distasteful joke I know but had to say it.

Maybe different for you personally, but I think it's an interesting question to explore. Were you willing to die for your country because you were still a kid and thought like one or were you willing to die for you country because you had become a man. I think you can look at it both ways depending on the person and situation.

It’s ok. I was willing to die for my country so that the appreciative and unappreciative people may have freedom. 

I signed up for the role with the most combat time in the military. At the time it seemed really cool. I didn’t make the program, but continued the military lifestyle for 4 more years by going to military school. Then 4 more years in management consulting for the Department of Defense. Now, I still have work for the Department of Defense in my current role.

Throughout the years a handful of my friends have made the ultimate sacrifice. It is a very honorable way to go. Thankfully none of my family has been hurt or killed in their military service. 

"If you always put limits on everything you do, physical or anything else, it will spread into your work and into your life. There are no limits. There are only plateaus, and you must not stay there, you must go beyond them." - Bruce Lee
 

I view it as a solid step towards becoming an adult. The decision to put your life on the line is massive. Also, the workload is gargantuan compared to any civilian career. It is a path where one can become an adult and quickly, it certainly requires some very adult decision making. But it doesn’t necessarily make one an adult.

Only two sources I trust, Glenn Beck and singing woodland creatures.
 

Arroz con Pollo

Early 20's and would say halfway through this year is when I started feeling like an adult. Recently had a family get together and realized I spent most of my time with the adults talking about adult stuff.

Not really a distinct shift, but I know over the course of the year is when I started becoming more mature. Would say it started happening after my dog died.

Do you ever actually grow up? I feel like I'm the same college kid who funneled Four Lokos and did stupid shit, but now I just don't funnel Four Lokos and do stupid shit. Yeah I'm not broke anymore and have money and a job, but I still feel like I'm "me", just that "me" has changed.

About 15 to 16. I moved out and started living on my own, got a part time to fund my life, got to understand how to pay my bills on time budget for a car etc. Never went crying home to parents for financial support.

SafariJoe, wins again!
 

My sister is 2 years older than me. I was at her high school graduation party when my parents turned to me and said, "its time we talked about you getting a job". I was 15-and-a-half and thats the legal age where you can get a work permit in California (your school and parents have to consent). That Monday I went to the school office, signed up for a work permit, took one of the job listings they had posted, went down to the business to talk to my new boss and I've been an adult ever since. 

 

Military service is up there and helped me understand commitment and sacrifices. It also gives a ton of discipline. However, I didn’t truly feel like an adult until I had children.

Only two sources I trust, Glenn Beck and singing woodland creatures.
 
Most Helpful

To echo Stonks1990, half the time I dont. 

However, to try and provide a better answer, I would say when I regularly stopped doing what I wanted and when I started doing what I ought to. I have a million different definitions, but would probably break it out into the following buckets; family, work, health, and relationship. I was always one of those guys growing up that needed 1-2 hours a day of "me time". Time to decompress, relax, play video games with friends, or just hang out with people. Im in my twenties and when I started regularly putting what I felt I needed to do before my me time was when I started feeling like an adult. 

When I started doing the following: 

1. Working 14 hour days and sacrificing my only 20 minutes to chill, decompress, watch tv, to ask my GF about her day. To invest in that relationship when it was the last thing I wanted to do. 

2. Forcing myself to hit the gym at 9 PM night after night to ensure I get exercise despite starting most days at 6 AM. Not cheating early and leaving after 45- 1 hour. 

3. Spending entire weekends with my SOs family because I know its important to her. 

4. Similar to 3, investing time in my own family. Making the effort to see relatives whenever possible. 

5. Pushing aside my own personal goals in an effort to see the bigger picture. Maybe I halt my side hustle for a weekend to see a sibling who is never in town, despite needing to make progress asap. Maybe I drop my gym plans on a Wednesday night because I think of a better way to build out an acquisition target analysis and Im looking for the early promote. Perhaps it is as simple as giving up my Friday night to lift at 6-8 PM because I havent exercised all week due to being stretched thin on multiple deals. 

In summation, it is when you are not only aware enough to know what to prioritize, but mature enough to act on that knowledge. 

Lastly, I regularly make mistakes, take the easy way out, dont make the mature decision, and fall short. The main point I am trying to make is that I know when I am feeling like an adult, and it is usually a biproduct of acting in the way described above. 

 

Huge fan of your comments, and this is one of the reasons why. I can relate to everything you just said. Someone might look at what you just wrote and say “that doesn’t sound fun”, and speaking from personal experience, it’s not. This is where discipline comes into play, as we must choose and prioritize those items which should be done, rather than those which we find more short-term satisfaction in

 

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