Your Mom Out-earns Your Dad

I am curious if any of you were born into households where your mother earned more / earns more than your dad and how did that shape the family dynamics? Would the mom be the key decision maker in the family? I was born in a family where this has been the case for some time and I am curious to learn how is it for others. Thank you.

 
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My mom has always earned more than my dad however my family is broke so the difference isn't PE partner Wife vs High school teacher Husband. I can provide some info ;

  • Gender roles are non existent, there is no conformity to a traditional view of masculinity or femininity. Sometimes my mom would take me fishing, make me wash the car, understand how the engine works , taught me a lot about cars in general and would force me to watch F1 and Moto GP. My dad would usually make breakfast and dinner, teach me how to fight when he got back home, make me read books about historical figures such as Tesla, Vanderbilt and Roosevelt and would teach me how to sew.

  • Mom would be the decision maker regarding situations such as schooling, financial decisions including the cost of gas, car issues, rent and taxes. Dad would be the decision maker regarding situations such as answering questions about politics and be the key decision maker when I needed any help regarding how to respond to be being bullied, why presentation & integrity is important and how to pick friends.

Hope that helps

 

my mom has a far more prestigious job than my dad, but because she’s a government employee, she works less. she still has more authority over what we purchase but household chores are evenly divided with my dad doing laundry/dishes and my mom cooks

 

Have a good friend where this is currently the case but they both earn a fair bit (7 figures). I personally wouldn’t be bothered by this (and neither is my friend), I can imagine it is more a function of the culture around you and the culture many years ago was more around “the man is the head of the household” which, depending on where you live, is less of a thing now. I would also imagine that the level and discrepancy is more of an issue (in the case of my friend both can support themselves very well so the power dynamic isn’t one sided). Anyway, not directly applicable but in the few cases I know the power dynamic hasn’t been different.

 

Mom worked in PE while dad worth in healthcare. Mom brought home all the bacon, but growing up it seemed like my dad knew this and respected it. She would make all financial decisions, be the one to plan vacations, do the family AND my siblings taxes, be the one more likely to get you a gift, etc. Dad was the household drill sergeant, in charge of keeping the kids in line and raising them to be hard working, respectful people. Both parents had their own role and they both did it really well

 

Not my family but I've seen a lot of situations where a woman gets a bunch of promotions while single and gets married later to a less successful guy. The whole "she wears the pants" stereotype holds up well in those cases. Dude tends to be a submissive type of personality. I know one situation where mom is a big-shot lawyer and dad stays home with the kids. He says he's content with that, I don't think anyone believes him.

 

Just jumping in here to say that my dad makes more than my mom (and my mom was stay at home for a while for the kids) and my mom still made all the financial decisions. She also cooked/cleaned etc etc and from what my 35+ male friends/colleagues have told me, their wives tend to boss them around too

And they all pull in 7 figures and wives are stay at home. I would actually think that a mom who makes at least equal as the husband might be more forward thinking about not falling into the typical "mom nags/cooks/cleans/pushes her husband around" mindset that all my older married friends with stay at home wives fall into.

That being said obviously when push comes to shove I think the working dads hold the "ultimate" power. That's the way it was with my parents. But keeping the wife happy is a real thing

 

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