The Wedding Process is Fucking Stupid
The post the other day on why men shouldn't get married garnered quite a bit of attention, and it got me thinking. The entire wedding process in the United States is so fucking expensive and stupid. An entire industry is built on ripping people off and it is alarmingly normal to spend egregious amounts of money on these ceremonies. It is especially horrible for the men in my opinion.
- First in question - the engagement ring. Oh, how I despise you. If your girl is like most other girls in NYC she will expect an overly large and expensive piece that will bring tears to the eyes of the purchaser, and temporary and fleeting praise from the recipient's social circle. "But I love her bro! You don't want her to have the worst one out of her friends, do you??" Ahhh yes the cultural norm created by De Beers in the early 1900's which stated all men MUST spend 3x a months salary on a diamond ring just to show his dedication to a woman. Fucking stupid. Here guys are spending 10, 20, 50, 100k on an an object that you get arguably nothing out of.
- Second up - the ceremony itself. I recently heard many couples go in debt to pay for their weddings? LMAO. All this ceremony is an overpriced display of wealth. I cannot stomach the fact that having a "normal" wedding for people my age and in finance will most likely cost around the same as my post tax bonus this year. Not to mention months of planning and spending on the most useless stuff. The only hack here is to find a girl with a rich parents willing to pay for it, otherwise things are looking pretty grim boys.
- The only good part - the honeymoon. I can generally get behind this, mostly because the rest of the wedding bullshit is generally to make the girl/families happy, but the guy can definitely enjoy the honeymoon. Basically just a vacation. Honestly if I could delete the rest of the process and just do this, I wouldn't really mind it.
Does it sound like I am bitter? Maybe I am a little bitter. The worst part of it is that this is supposed to be "the best day of my life"??? PFFFFFFFFFTTTT lmao doubt. All that money and work just to get divorced in a lot of cases. Would love to hear why I am wrong here. I actually really like the idea of having a lifelong partner, but just haaaaaaaate the whole wedding process.
Who says you have to do any of that?
I bought a ring for like 3k.
Wedding was at a church we attend (free to use venue).
Only spent money on food for guests. Overall wasn't that expensive.
If your girl isn't interested in marrying you based on not getting a 30k ring or 60k wedding...well....you probably dodged a bullet.
The wedding industry is a cottage industry in any country, not just America.
For every girl that wants an awesome wedding, there is a girl that doesn’t care. And typically the girls that want awesome weddings have a well to do family. In my social circle, a middle class or poor girl never had an elaborate wedding.
The engagement ring is a little trickier, but again the girls who got big ones in my circle tended to have good jobs and will contribute meaningfully to the household budget in the future, so the ring can be looked at as more of an investment for someone like you.
It doesn’t sound like you’re even close to getting married so what’s upsetting you? This is like an arbitrary future problem that you likely won’t even have because given your view on weddings you will choose to be with a girl that wants a small event.
And don’t go into the marriage thinking most ends in divorce. Divorce is likely if you settle, just try not to settle. That’s like saying the average income in the US is whatever it is and we shouldn’t try to do better, when everyone on this board does much better than average.
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