I was attending a small personal event and ended up meeting one of the biggest names in PE, think Kravis/Schwarzman/Black tier for one of the top funds. I didn't want to come across as some schmoozing opportunist so I avoided trying to really talk about work stuff and instead shared some personal interests in conversation over dinner. One of the other attendees gave me his information later that night, saying I should definitely follow-up with him and that he'd appreciate the hustle.
He was clearly taking personal time and I want to respect that. I'm planning on waiting a few days till he's done here and back at work before I reach out. Since this is a bit different than just cold emailing an alum/casually chatting with someone at a WSO meetup, I was hoping someone here could share some advice about how to move forward.
This is a tough one. My initial idea would be to contact him in a couple days (as you said) and mention you enjoyed the conversations you had at dinner and would perhaps like to pick his brain on one topic that stood out more than others, or have the opportunity to discuss something industry related. The latter may come off as 'I want a job'ish but still shows interest without directly saying you want to sit down and talk about career advice.
I recommend a different tack altogether.
You already found success by looking like a human. In his eyes, that's a plus. You didn't hop down his throat right away with deal talk, you were just you. Anyone your age interacting with him is either scared stiff, fawning over him obsequiously trying to get a job, or macho-ing to try to seem worthy of respect.
Write him a simple note thanking him for his time and asking if he's willing to be a resource to you in the future. Guys like this want to be mentors. They aren't going to get into anything nitty-gritty, so even thinking for a minute that he'd wave his magic wand to get you the associate seat at his firm on the exact industry coverage team you'd love is stupid.
He will, however, respond (maybe slowly, at times) to emails where you ask him for insight and help thinking through decisions you're facing.
Your goal is to develop a rhythm where you touch base with him 2-3 times a year.Try to get in front of him at least once a year, whether in the office or somewhere else.
Send a handwritten card after Christmas (you generally don't know someone's religion, but New Year's is always a great prompt to send a short note of thanks and well wishes) and at his birthday.
You may do calls the first few times, that's okay. Be smart. Don't be aggressive. Be prepared with real things you want to talk about: a problem you're having with a VP who hasn't been promoted in six years and clearly has deficiencies that create problems that affect you, the decision to pursue a fund offering a generalist associate program (Berkshire) or an industry focus (Carlyle), whether an MBA makes sense ...
If you look like a sharp young guy who isn't hammering him for a seat at his shop, who asks real questions about real things, who is alert and heads-up about the world around him, he'll look at you like a guy on the move who's worth keeping tabs on. In an ideal world you'll be able to see him in his office once or twice a year.
When you get that invite, your first live meeting will dictate whether he turns into a guy who decides to take an active interest in you. This is the type of game-changing relationship that can catapult you to success: invitations to tag along at conferences he's going to, an open ear for deals you want to pursue, introductions to other heavy-hitters when you mention something you're focused on ...
In short, be human, look like someone worth taking under his wing, and be patient.
This is great.
I would also add, as you begin to build a real relationship, think about ways in which you can bring value to his life. You said you spoke about personal things, so maybe send him a book on something he is interested in, offer to take him golfing, try to introduce him to someone in your network you think he'd like to meet.
Obviously to someone of this stature monetary gestures are meaningless. But if they see that you are giving an effort to invest in the relationship and enrich their lives as well, it goes a long way.
As APAE, be human and form a friendship, rather than thinking of it as a networking opportunity.
This was super helpful for framing what I'm going to say, thank you!
Best advice I ever got when it comes to networking was "be real". Be genuine, be yourself, don't force business talk. Super sophisticated/brilliant guys at the top of the game can sniff a bullshitter out a mile away... best not to force anything.
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