Boss Just Completely Cuts Me Off in Meetings
Work for a large development shop. My boss gets way in the weeds and has zero trust in their people to actually lead. Didn’t know this aspect going into the role. Example: in larger coordination meetings with many internal and external design consultants, partners, etc where w’re trying to make design decisions regarding complicated projects, I often open up the meeting to set the stage (goal of meeting, the set of constraints, and the decisions needing made, etc) and almost every time, this person just completely cuts me off, dives right in and starts conducting the meeting themselves. To the point where it feels like why am I even here. I don’t believe it’s happening because of anything wrong that I've said or anything. I've been leading projects like this one for a decade. This person hired me knowing my experience level. Part of me thinks it's just their nature to stay in the weeds and they seem to enjoy controlling the conversation and playing quarterback. It's just odd because it feels like I'm useless which is very different from the last decade I've spent leading projects. And this person's role is technically an executive, so I didn't expect it to be this way at all. It's also not a very executive approach to working (compared to delegating, building teams, staying at a strategy level, etc). So I'm highly confused and not sure how to proceed. Should I address it with this person? Should I continue to attempt to lead and fight for "airtime"? I've thought about just continuing trying to be vocal, but at some point it really is unproductive to have my boss (extremely vocal), me (trying to be vocal), often time our ownership partners (also need to have an opinion), etc. all voicing opinions and trying to give direction. I plan to ask others on my team if it's happened to them, but obviously have to be careful how I bring it up. I'm somewhat still new to the firm and getting accustomed to working with this person. Any similar experience or perspective here is greatly appreciated.
*Edited for confidentiality reasons.
I’d recommend asking him how he thought the meeting went rather than asking the internet.
Also I’d delete this post so he doesn’t see it and be thankful you have a real estate job right now.
It almost sounds as if he doesn’t think you are necessary - hope that’s not the case.
Come into my office and let's have a chat
I had a boss like this, micromanager. It was not a fun job, there was zero reason for me to be proactive or take ownership over anything since anytime I did anything he just wanted me to redo it the way he wanted (even if it ended up being the same as what I initially submitted). I basically became relegated to an analyst without any decision making authority, so I stopped trying.
It's a control issue. Very typical of bosses who are used to running deals, not leading people. It happened to me for a year or so early on for sure when the head of development and the two principals all decided to attend 90%+ of meetings even though it was "my deal." Ultimately, it's their money on the line, and letting go and leading are both skills they have to learn...as is learning to trust your judgment over time.
But all that said, you're an adult. Go talk to your boss, tell him that he's being a prick, and come up with ways to work better together. Could be a good bonding moment, no bullshit.
Appreciate it, thanks for sharing your experience and for the advice. You’re right, just need to talk to him and get on the same page.
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