14 Comments
 
Angelus99http://www.razume.com/documents/22223
I just updated it. Please give me more to work on
Not to sound rude, but looking at this for less than 30 seconds, I was able to spot at least 5 errors, either with the language or with the formatting.

If you are not willing to spend the time correcting even the most basic errors (such as correct capitalization, double spacing and inconsistent formatting), don't expect anyone else to bother with providing you with any sort of critique.

 
Domino Not to sound rude, but looking at this for less than 30 seconds, I was able to spot at least 5 errors, either with the language or with the formatting.

If you are not willing to spend the time correcting even the most basic errors (such as correct capitalization, double spacing and inconsistent formatting), don't expect anyone else to bother with providing you with any sort of critique.

Yep ... these are not problems that can be attributed to his French background in an English-speaking country, he is just sloppy.

more importantly, you don't go from retail to institutional without making a pit stop at an MBA program, simple as that.

 

Wow you have no shot at all at any type of analyst role FO/MO/ mabye even BO. I don't even know where to start, but first off where's the GPA / test scores? Second quantify, quantify, quantify, especially listing sales as one of your skills and giving no figures! Ummm... honestly IB/ER really isn't for you, unless you have some uncle that can hook you up.

 

Bortz, and Domino. I really appreciate the critique and whats great is that you guys are pointing errors out that i have not noticed. Thank you and i will make sure to fix everything that you have pointed out to me.

Beast
 

Futurebanker thank you also. I will update all those info into it also. I have no defense for anything you guys are telling me because i have some connects within the industry and what I'm looking for is to make sure I update my resume to perfect status before i reach out to them. Again Thank you so much guys. Keep it coming if you can.

Beast
 

Jesus how did you get your first job? Throw this in the trash and remake your resume from a blank sheet of paper.

MM IB -> Corporate Development -> Strategic Finance
 
SECfinanceJesus how did you get your first job? Throw this in the trash and remake your resume from a blank sheet of paper.
Thank you for that but im actually really good at what i do. I got recruited for most of my positions. What i do ask is for helpful input and less baseless criticism. If you have some value tips like A27wang did then i would be more then glad to hear it.
Beast
 
Best Response
Angelus99
SECfinanceJesus how did you get your first job? Throw this in the trash and remake your resume from a blank sheet of paper.
Thank you for that but im actually really good at what i do. I got recruited for most of my positions. What i do ask is for helpful input and less baseless criticism. If you have some value tips like A27wang did then i would be more then glad to hear it.

If you're so good at what you do, why do you have a worse looking resume than most high school sophomores?

My criticism isn't baseless, your resume is shit. I'm sorry you don't want to hear that.

Your first financial advisor bullet is terrible.

Change "inclusive of" to including. "Laid out a roadmap to get there"? Need a more formal sounding sentence here.

All your private client banker bullets need to be in past tense because you have left the job.

Need to start those bullets with verbs.

Would probably use "HNWIs" instead of what you have there.

Do you have any measurable stats for your performance? Any selected experience? All I've gotten from your resume is that you show up to work every day and get a paycheck.

Put your CFA stuff with your licenses. Capitalize L in level.

No activities/honors/GPA in school?

Your skills is the best part of your resume. Why isn't all this info in your actual bullet points? Would also use HNWIs down here.

You are experienced in the workplace so you may be able to actually claim MS Office as a skill but if you can't do an LBO in your sleep then leave that stuff off.

Capitalize Salsa International, specify what Zogsport is, and just put football.

I mean you want feedback, but I just don't know why someone who is in their second postgrad job can only fill up 3/4 of a page with information.

MM IB -> Corporate Development -> Strategic Finance
 

SECfinance. I think that was amazing. I really appreciate that. I get lots of feedback on this resume and unfortunately i just built this resume recently and im taking all the advice i can to make it look amazing.

Beast
 

I mean you clearly have experience, but it looks like you took the M&I format, opened it up, and spent 30 seconds typing everything you possibly could into your resume without regard for what that information was, how good it was, or what it related to. Take these suggestions and start from the ground level. Take your time and put effort into your resume, just like you (hopefully) do at work.

MM IB -> Corporate Development -> Strategic Finance
 

Dude. Formatting. Also - Way to qualitative. I mean no offence but it's like reading a novel. If you were in wealth management put the $$$ you managed, acquired or even advised. I agree with most of the comments SECfinance made. You have the experience but you aren't really showing it on paper.

Try writing everything you've done, expand upon it, quantify it and list the most impressive stuff you have. You should get a good page or two. Then just cut down from there. You can also modify format's you find online - you don't need to follow them precisely - Just keep the look professional and clean.

Women, along with rules, are meant to be violated
 

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Beast

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