Calling all monkey shitheads. ROAST MY RESUME

Hey everyone, I’d really appreciate some honest feedback on my resume. So far, I’ve only received one first-round interview at a middle market bank, but I choked—I got nervous and messed up a behavioral question I had actually prepped for (stupid mistake). Now, I’m worried I’ll completely strike out in 2026 IB SA recruiting.

Current Questions I have: 

1. Is my resume competitive enough for IB? Should I keep pushing for 2026 IB SA roles, or would it be smarter to wait, build up my experience, and explore alternative paths? 
2. If I strike out of 2026 IB SA recruiting, would it make sense to aim for FT IB recruitment without prior IB experience? I’ve heard that it’s almost impossible to land a full-time IB analyst role without a prior IB internship. Note that if I take this approach, I’d change my grad date to June 2026 instead of December 2026. 
3. Any general advice or comments on my situation?

Resume: 

Tear it apart—I want to make my resume as strong as possible. Thanks in advance.