Resume Advice - breaking into banking

Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Have 4 years of irrelevant work experience and just completing MSc Quant Finance. Aiming for entry level / grad program positions.

My reservations: is it too cluttered and wordy? was advised to separate 'portfolio management' out by careers adviser, risk looking corny?

http://www.razume.com/documents/17247

thanks in advance

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