Best Response

Judging from your IB score of 41 and the fact that you're doing PPE, I'm guessing you're at Oxford (possibly LSE), so that ticks a box.

The work experience itself is good but it's put across quite poorly. It needs to be more results orientated, maybe talk about the effect the work you did had on the projects or how useful it was. If you can quantify it then even better.

I think your campus rep role should go under leadership experience not work. Certainly for all the people who have been campus ambassadors for firms like DB etc. that I've seen they've put it under leadership.

Your UBS challenge achievement in particular is pretty good. The others, whilst relevant, seem quite underwhelming. Like they're being put across as your best achievements when the actual tasks are quite mundane and nothing out of the ordinary (no offence).

Consequently (in my opinion) you come across as a seriously boring individual. There is just one line on your CV that isn't directly related to finance. Your degree, all your work experience and all your extra curricular activities are all finance. No variety, it's just finance finance finance. It's quite one-dimensional and not interesting in that sense. It certainly doesn't give the impression that you're a well rounded individual who's achieved great results in a wide range of fields.

I know it can be hard to leave things out that you think are worth mentioning, but I think you'd benefit from adding more variety.

Just my 2 cents.

 

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[quote]The HBS guys have MAD SWAGGER. They frequently wear their class jackets to boston bars, strutting and acting like they own the joint. They just ooze success, confidence, swagger, basically attributes of alpha males.[/quote]

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