Resume review - One more summer left
Can I get some feed back on my resume? I have one more summer left for an internship before I graduate and I want it to be in either IBD or equity research. I am currently in an internship now, but its Ops and boring as hell. This same resume minus the intern work experience got me three interviews in the past including GS GSAM more specifically PEG, Also a phone interview with a small hedge fund, and where I am currently interning. I did not get an offer from GS and turned down the offer from the HF because I don't think they were going to pay.
http://www.razume.com/documents/15966
Also, one last question......could my prior military experience actually be a deterrent for a IBD SA position? Meaning I had the impression at GS that the interviewers weren't very comfortable trying to intimidate me, they'd probably feel better sending a 19 year old to fetch coffee.
I would explain what PAM and Accurate NXG means. Your military bullets are extremely vague and not quantified enough in terms of results achieved. You military experience will ony be percieved as a positive--but you need to do a better job selling it. Use your enlisted performance reports as a starting point for bullets.
Have you ever deployed? You only list your stateside location, yet you list the combat action ribbon. For the commendation for leadership, be more specific about the task you lead the and accomplishment that resulted. I assume you were enlisted, which is cool--but realize that there are tons of military on wall street--mostly prior officers who will not buy anything that sounds like bullshit. The biggest critics of military applicants are other military. And don't worry--no offense, but they wont think twice about sending you out for coffee.
Team Leader is also vague. I would go into more detail of what your MOS/specialty was. 4 years in the marines you should have some pretty concrete examples of accomplishments. List your rank promotions as well. You didnt start out leading 6 people--you started out as a basic trainee--so show how you grew within the organization.
Finally, almost none of your bullets include what quantifiably resulted from your actions--only what you were tasked with or did. You can be tasked with something and totally fuck it up repeatedly. You can't fuck something up repeatedly and produce positive long-term results or impacts to the organization. Just always remember Action-->Impact.
ok.
You need more experience, more skills/act/int, and the whole works.
It is just WAY too empty. It looks like a freshmens resume. Put another internship/job on there add some skills etc and come back.
then we can work on structure / grammar.
finally some truth and no sugercoating, I like it. Thanks guys
I bartend part time for banquets year- round. Should that be included even though its irrelevant to finance?
No.
http://www.razume.com/documents/15988
Updated,
As for the above comment saying I don't have enough skill/act/int.......what kind of skills and activities would you recommend?
Also, the reason I do not have rank and promotions on there is because I was enlisted, and you are right about tons of former officers working on Wallstreet so putting my rank of Corporal is pretty insignificant.
PM Me.
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