Roast my cover letter updated

Is this at least passable? I heard if it’s passable, then it wont negatively affect the application.

Dear Hiring Manager,

My name is (name), and I am a (school name) student majoring in (major). I am excited to apply for an investment banking internship at Deutsche Bank. I am particularly drawn to Deutsche Bank due to its strong global presence, which offers unique opportunities to engage with diverse markets and drive impactful financial solutions on an international scale. My experience in financial analysis, portfolio management, and developing a proprietary trading system has deepened my interest in the dynamic world of investment banking, where I can apply my strong analytical skills to drive impactful financial solutions and work on high-stakes transactions. After researching the firm and the role, I am confident that my academic background and extracurricular experiences have equipped me with the skills and qualities needed to succeed in this position.

I have interned at (top BB) Wealth Management, where I collaborated closely with senior wealth managers to design and manage investment portfolios tailored to client objectives and risk profiles using software like Alladin and conducting equity research using tools like Bloomberg Terminal. This experience allowed me to develop strong teamwork skills and sharpened my financial knowledge. Additionally, I created a proprietary quantitative trading system for ETFs and small- and mid-cap equities that identifies equity mispricing relative to the specific sector and consistently outperformed industry benchmarks. By doing this, my analytical skills and market knowledge were enhanced. I also led the Southeastern Urban Lighting Policy Initiative, where I conducted in depth research on the correlation between crime and street lighting, testified before governmental officials and committees, and was appointed to a (city name) governmental committee on street lighting. Due to my efforts, there was an increase in governmental support for additional lighting installations to help reduce crime in (2 cities names), and my leadership skills developed greatly.

I am confident that my passion for finance, strong analytical, teamwork, and leadership skills, along with my academic and professional experience, will allow me to excel as an intern at Deutsche Bank. Enclosed is my resume, which provides further insight into my qualifications, skill sets, and experience. Thank you for your time and consideration. Sincerely