Roast My Resume/Next Step

Hi everyone, I am looking for advice on resume enhancement. Please flame it and let me know what I can fix. 

ALSO 

Please offer advice on next steps. I am living in NYC as a new grad and looking for help on where I could go from here. I am a super hardworking, charismatic, and passionate young man. I am interested in building a better foundation of experience in investment banking. 

6 Comments
 

Commuting for six hours a day makes you sound more stupid than committed because there is no way the benefit of being in the NYC office was so great that it was worth six hours a day! Especially since it implies the existence of an office near by when you say "to work in the New York office".  There is almost no way that those SIX hours of commuting couldn't have been put to way better use, and, do the math, 8 hours to sleep, 6 hours to commute, 4 hours of college, and an hour to do everything else in your life and it ends up looking like you worked for like max 5 hours a day.

 

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