I want that mf investment banking job.

Recently graduated high school and am now at uni. I drink, I party, I smoke - I live the uni life - but I hate this place. Most people I know are so fake, so gay, and so unappreciative of me and my efforts to become someone they can rely on (cringe af ik). So now, I no longer want to contribute to this community, and I would much rather sell my soul to cynicism (and be appreciated for my research, my efforts, and the fkin money I make) than to be severe cringe trying to pursue an ideology literally nobody gives a fuck about. 

Question is, as a first-year student, how can I most effectively prepare myself for my IB application in 2 years' time? GPA? Extra-curriculars? Powerpoint/excel/word knowledge? In other words, for those currently in IB, what factors played a significant role in landing your IB job, and what are some things you would have done differently if you were a first-year? Just need some personal advice before delving into online courses.

For reference, I want to get into sales and trading at a BB, if possible. Disregard geography and university.

Thanks in advance👍

Comments (5)

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  • Anonymous Monkey's picture
  • Anonymous Monkey
  • Rank: Chimp
Mar 14, 2022 - 10:41am
Anonymous Monkey, what's your opinion? Comment below:

Just to level set a bit, you want to avoid fake/gay?/unappreciative people and your idea is to pursue a career at an investment bank?

The other theme coming through in your post is playing into the whole cynical, miserable, rich but respected identity that people love to cosplay as.  Having been through it and observing it for years, it's just so so lame.  It is a spinzone self-justification as to why you're locked inside on a summer saturday when all your friends are out and about.  You're not solely put on a pedestal because you're a banker, no one actually cares and the sooner you realize that, the sooner you can make informed and objective decisions about what you want to do with your life.

To be clear, you should do whatever you want to do, but reading about someone resigning to a life of a cynical banker to compensate for whatever awkward experience they had 8 months into college is just silly.  Explore your motivations, seek perspectives, and consider a shift in your mindset.

Sorry to dwell on the background piece, but there are hundreds of threads answering your question.

Mar 14, 2022 - 11:26am
VKZ, what's your opinion? Comment below:

Thanks for your detailed reply.

Maybe I do really need more time to consolidate my thoughts, but my reflections thus far and intuition are leading me down the IB path. Don't know if its good or not, and I suppose that, with your experience, if I need more nuance to my approach, then theres something Im missing.

Ill continue exploring more then, thanks💪

Mar 14, 2022 - 2:42pm
redbullzone, what's your opinion? Comment below:

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