Need help of reviewing my transfer application essays to B-schools

Hello Professionals, I am an international student who is currently a sophomore at a community college in WA state. I am preparing my transfer applications to several b-schools for undergraduate study specialization in accounting and finance. And my target school is Haas. Though I know my chances is low, I still one more supplemental essay that I need to complete. Does anyone of you be willing to review my essay? As for now, many of you would have understand that I do not write well. I need you help, Senseis.. Let me know if this is something you are interested in, I will pm you very soon. Thank so much.