4 Ways to Make Friends and 1 Way to Keep them

Kamchowder's picture
Rank: Gorilla | 625

Did you know that **"not having enough friends is the same risk factor as smoking 15 cigarettes a day?"** I did not. This article is about how to make new connections and friends for networking purposes.

Reach out to old friends

"Reaching out to old friends is an effective way to make connections, and you already know these people so it's not hard," says Barker. "Those people can introduce you to more people."

Make friends at work

Coworkers are a great source of new friendships, says Barker. You already spend a lot of time together and are in close proximity. Just like when you were in school, you can build relationships at the office lunch table. Look for people who sit at the larger tables....It also pays to hang out at the office water cooler. One study shows that 70% to 90% of office gossip tends to be true, and knowing what's going on helps you stay connected and get ahead, says Barker.

Listen and find similarities

When you have conversations with new people, leverage this fact by highlighting similarities. "You don't want to be sneaky and create similarities, but when you're talking to someone, get to know them and highlight connections in a way that's genuine and authentic," says Barker.

Join a group

Groups are organized around a shared hobby or passion, which plays into the power of similarity. And there are benefits for widening your circle. Your close friends are likely to live in your area, hear about the same things, and know of the same opportunities. Tapping into weaker ties will help you hear about things you wouldn't hear about otherwise, says Barker.

Keep your friends

Making and keeping friends takes time, and the best way to follow through is to put it on your calendar, says Barker..

I believe that this article states some pretty obvious things about making friends. Still, I found there were some good nuggets of information in this article.

How do you make friends? Is there any tactics that you use to make and keep friends? When people try to be your friend, what do they do that annoys you?

Comments (23)

Best Response
Jun 2, 2017

Good info, but to go with that, everyone must read Dale Carnegie's How to Win Friends & Influence People, at least once.

    • 7
Jun 2, 2017

I definitely agree.

Jun 2, 2017

For sure a good book when learning to be more manipulative

heister:

Look at all these wannabe richies hating on an expensive salad.

https://arthuxtable.com/

    • 1
Jun 2, 2017

Why do you think the book teaches people how to be more manipulative? I believe that the book teaches people to become more persuasive.

    • 1
Jun 4, 2017

Great book!

Jun 2, 2017

I have no friends besides my wife and brother AMA

heister:

Look at all these wannabe richies hating on an expensive salad.

https://arthuxtable.com/

    • 2
Jun 3, 2017

but you have a load of contacts and acquaintances though, right?

Jun 3, 2017

My brother's wife and I are way more than friends AMA

    • 6
Jun 4, 2017

What are the exit ops from this? Is it possible to achieve this while coming from a non-target with a 4.0?
Asking for a friend.

'I'm jacked... JACKED TO THE TITS!!'

    • 1
Jun 5, 2017

Is your friend "my name is goldstein"?

Observe. Learn. Share.

Jun 3, 2017

I remember playing the Sims back in the college days, and wish we could do their way - throw a potion at strangers to make them your bestie, then kiss them to get a fuck buddy. If only life were as easy peazy as that....

GoldenCinderblock: "I keep spending all my money on exotic fish so my armor sucks. Is it possible to romance multiple females? I got with the blue chick so far but I am also interested in the electronic chick and the face mask chick."

Jun 3, 2017

really throws a wrench in the hip-hop saying, "No new franns, no new friends."

    • 1
Jun 5, 2017

I agree to these tips to make good friends and to not stay alone.

Jun 5, 2017

@Kamchowder what you've highlighted above is good advice (still reading the article so will update this comment if needed) but I just want to say that making friends comes down to:

Proximity

Frequent, Unplanned Interactions

Setting That Encourages People to Let Their Guard Down

For me personally I've found it extremely difficult to make friends. I know people who may invite me to the occasional happy hour but the bonds that people form in college due to Greek life, band, or simply being part of a student organization tend to last longer.

One thing I failed to realize is that when I had the chance to make friends I didn't pursue it as aggressively as I should have. What I mean by this is that college provided a common, consistent setting but I failed to realize that many of these individuals did not care for maintaining the relationship post-college.

I don't have any scientific data to back this up but I feel some people are just destined to have acquaintances and no real close friends while others still keep up with the bros from high school.

    • 4
Jun 5, 2017

I certainly understand that some people are good at maintaining friends and some people struggle at that. I also believe that friendship is a relationship that needs two people to cobtribute to it and if that doesn't occur, then no tips can really help anyone maintain or gain friends. I agree with your bolded tips very much and I found those tips to be very true. Thank you for your input!

    • 1
Jun 5, 2017

@Kamchowder I'm interested in psychology and generally around what makes people do what they do. Personally I hung out with guys I knew since I was a kid and all of sudden when we went different ways some still hung out and do so today while I felt I became a complete outsider.

I'll talk to these guys when I see them but beyond that I don't have much contact with them even if I am the one to initiate. I chalk this up as I no longer provide the value I once did.

Makes me wonder if relationships are no different than business (Marriage = M&A transaction?)...you are friends/SO/married to Juicy Jane or Witty Will because they provide you with X and up until they continue to provide X they bring value.

Thoughts?

    • 2
Jun 6, 2017
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