60+ rejections, HEARTBROKEN

A few years ago, I started the MBA feeling like a failure, my self-esteem was at all time low. I just couldn't feel good about myself and never made peace with any of my failures and bad experiences. So I faked it and acted like I was in control.
Faking it made it worse. Being in a dark place made me fail so many times and mess up so many relationships. So many opportunities in front of me that I couldn't grab on to it, cause I believed that I didn't deserved it.
So I read a lot of books to give me the tools I needed. And I networked like crazy, every week I emailed 60 people. I just kept getting rejection after rejection and ended up working at a boutique firm for a small amount. It is a weird place to work, however, I am getting some experience.

Even though I better place, every time I go on LinkedIn someone from my network is getting a promotion or switching jobs to a better one. And here I am with 60+ rejections and lost a lot my close friends cause of my stupidity. And it hurts so bad. The fire inside of me is starting to die, after all these rejections. I don't know how I can keep going, but I need my comeback...

 

There is always a way to get what you want, 3 years is a long time. I do not know your background as regards to what is stopping you to get a paid job at least, but feeling down and beating yourself won't help you.

Ask feedback to people around you as what you can improve, reach out to other females in finance and ask for help. Keep fighting, your goal might be closer than what you think

 
Best Response

I read your original post...

Substance abuse, family problems, and clinical depression aren't things you can ignore.

Or at least, you can try to ignore them but they are as unlikely to go away as your employment issues.

You said you were working for free for three years so you might want to take this into consideration.

I know an MD who used to drink so much his license got suspended so he had to start riding a scooter to work. Sometimes he'd get so trashed at work his kids nanny would have to come pick him up because he can't ride his scooter home. These days he has a bicycle and tells everyone he bought it to stay in shape. Eventually, he had to buy a new bicycle because his nanny bought a smaller car and the old bike won't fit in the trunk. Everyone thinks he is some BSD that runs things but the truth is he is a sad old guy who can't even be trusted to ride a scooter without hurting himself.

You probably feel like you're under so much pressure that getting a job is the most important thing but it really isn't.

Being successful at work won't make all the stuff you deleted earlier go away.

I think you should see a professional about coping with this stress because it is visibly taking a toll on you.

In the meantime, you paid for an MBA, put your career office to work and try to get something that is paid. There are tons of F500 FLDP you might be competitive for. Look at more than just IB.

 

Thanks however, Yes I had issues with depression five years ago, however it been five years. No drinking problems at all, just a few dark weeks, with my rejections, which is some what normal. No severe family problems. I am working Practically for free, with 100+ hours and pay being a small amount. Thanks for the advice.

 
BeHappy247:
Thanks however, Yes I had issues with depression five years ago, however it been five years.

Make sure your coping mechanisms are in place, you're getting enough sleep, getting some good workouts in the gym, eating clean, and also 5000 IU D3 as well as a fish oil / omega 3 should be all you need in addition to any prescribed medications.

I would get to know the foods that help. Salmon is really good.

http://thescienceofeating.com/2014/12/29/foods-that-fight-depression/

"If you always put limits on everything you do, physical or anything else, it will spread into your work and into your life. There are no limits. There are only plateaus, and you must not stay there, you must go beyond them." - Bruce Lee
 

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"If you always put limits on everything you do, physical or anything else, it will spread into your work and into your life. There are no limits. There are only plateaus, and you must not stay there, you must go beyond them." - Bruce Lee

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