A stupid repost that you should ignore, unless you are a noob like me

Loki777's picture
Rank: King Kong | 1,406

not fact checking this, but it is a good laugh

http://www.worthytoshare.net/this-pretty-girl-seek...

The following is what a women posted on a dating forum seeking a rich husband:

I'm going to be honest of what I'm going to say here. I'm 25 this year. I'm very pretty, have style and good taste. I wish to marry a guy with $500k annual salary or above. You might say that I'm greedy, but an annual salary of $1M is considered only as middle class in New York.

My requirement is not high. Is there anyone in this forum who has an income of $500k annual salary? Are you all married? I wanted to ask: what should I do to marry rich persons like you?

Among those I've dated, the richest is $250k annual income, and it seems that this is my upper limit.
If someone is going to move into high cost residential area on the west of New York City Garden(?), $250k annual income is not enough.

I'm here humbly to ask a few questions:

1) Where do most rich bachelors hang out? (Please list down the names and addresses of bars, restaurant, gym)
2) Which age group should I target?
3) Why most wives of the riches are only average-looking? I've met a few girls who don't have looks and are not interesting, but they are able to marry rich guys.
4) How do you decide who can be your wife, and who can only be your girlfriend? (my target now is to get married)
Ms. Pretty

A philosophical reply from CEO of J.P. Morgan below:

Dear Ms. Pretty,
I have read your post with great interest. Guess there are lots of girls out there who have similar questions like yours. Please allow me to analyse your situation as a professional investor.
My annual income is more than $500k, which meets your requirement, so I hope everyone believes that I'm not wasting time here.
From the standpoint of a business person, it is a bad decision to marry you. The answer is very simple, so let me explain.

Put the details aside, what you're trying to do is an exchange of "beauty" and "money" : Person A provides beauty, and Person B pays for it, fair and square.
However, there's a deadly problem here, your beauty will fade, but my money will not be gone without any good reason. The fact is, my income might increase from year to year, but you can't be prettier year after year.

Hence from the viewpoint of economics, I am an appreciation asset, and you are a depreciation asset. It's not just normal depreciation, but exponential depreciation. If that is your only asset, your value will be much worse 10 years later.

By the terms we use in Wall Street, every trading has a position, dating with you is also a "trading position".
If the trade value dropped we will sell it and it is not a good idea to keep it for long term - same goes with the marriage that you wanted. It might be cruel to say this, but in order to make a wiser decision any assets with great depreciation value will be sold or "leased".

Anyone with over $500k annual income is not a fool; we would only date you, but will not marry you. I would advice that you forget looking for any clues to marry a rich guy. And by the way, you could make yourself to become a rich person with $500k annual income.This has better chance than finding a rich fool.

Hope this reply helps.

signed,
J.P. Morgan CEO

Comments (11)

Mar 27, 2014

dude, really....

old as shit + you really think jamie dimon would 1) write something like this, 2) take the risk of it going public, and 3) sign it as "JPM CEO"?

Mar 27, 2014
the magnum:

dude, really....

old as shit + you really think jamie dimon would 1) write something like this, 2) take the risk of it going public, and 3) sign it as "JPM CEO"?

"not fact checking this, but it is a good laugh", but yeah, I just realized this circulated in 2012.

Mar 27, 2014

Might be old...but still funny.

Mar 27, 2014

It was circulated way before 2012

Mar 27, 2014

As old as the spacejam.com website before they realised people were actually clicking on it and redesigned it.

Mar 27, 2014

Jamie Dimon is no fool.

Has anybody else read "24 Signs She's Slut" on a blog called Return of the kings ?

Mar 28, 2014
BatMasterson:

Jamie Dimon is no fool.

Has anybody else read "24 Signs She's Slut" on a blog called Return of the kings ?

I hate all of those manosphere sites. And I hate that I know that term.

heister:

Look at all these wannabe richies hating on an expensive salad.

https://arthuxtable.com/

    • 1
Mar 27, 2014

Welcome to the internet

Mar 27, 2014

lol

Mar 28, 2014

I love when people put this up and are like lol its new. Its from 07 or 08 and I'm sure its origins probably are from even earlier than that. The actual guy who wrote it was supposedly a VP at JPM

Mar 28, 2014
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