Hi Guys,
During my performance review with my direct reporting MDs, he mentions that I have been looking demotivated and unhappy the past couple of months.
My question is, does looking motivated and happy make a difference? There were no complaints about my work, in fact, I was told that I did great work quality. It was just that in the office, I look very demotivated and unhappy. Will I end up getting let go or will it affect me negatively going into the future?
A bit of my own perspective. I notice that among the juniors (there are 6 juniors in the team), I have one of the heaviest workload. I work the latest most days. I don't know how to push work away because everyone seems to be giving me work despite me explaining that I have work in the pipeline with impending deadlines. I suspect the reason I am not very good at pushing back work is because I am female (only female junior in a team of 12) and a minority. I also work in an Asian country where these things, while talked about, do not make me a hot commodity. The junior who sits next to me surfs Facebook and LinkedIn all day yet he is able to get away with not getting more work.
The reason why my MD says this is because I did offend a director, who is unfortunately, one of the most outspoken ones. Apparently his complaints are that I treat work as tasks and that I look unhappy at work. I don't want to write down the things he did to me (or to the others), but he is a very manipulative middle aged guy who have all complaint about him. All the other directors and seniors above me have given me good reviews but these reviews do not seem to be taken into account by my MD. He focuses only on this one director's comments. My own mentor who's a director as well has told me specifically that this director seems to have it against me, going to great lengths to get me into trouble with the MD.
The MD has now told me that I look demotivated and unhappy in my performance review. With my working hours (working the longest on the most deals in the team) and having to deal with this director who seems to have it against me, I suppose I do look demotivated and unhappy. I don't exactly go around complaining about this director in the office or anything of that sort but neither do I make small talk with him. With his deals, I do the work asap, pass it to him and get it over with. But since my work quality is not in question and the MD acknowledges it, I do not see why looking demotivated and unhappy is a problem?
TLDR: MD told me I look demotivated and unhappy but my work quality is not in question. Is this cause for being let go or will this impact me negatively going forward?
Doesn't sound like a serious offence at all if you ask me. Being also in an Asian country and knowing some folks like to be less direct / confrontational, it might be a hint to be "nicer" to the director you mentioned. I get you don't like the guy - just make sure it's not too obvious. That said, he does sound like a tool and I'd try to work more with better directors. What function are you in anyway?
I politely disagree with the above poster. I think your MD is giving you a cue to start looking elsewhere which you should do ASAP. You clearly don’t fit the team’s culture and it’ll be easier to start afresh than heal wounds. My advice to you is to not start picking battles with senior folks (regardless of how douchy they r) ESP When you’ve just begun ur career
Thank you for this feedback.
I am ready to look outside now and do agree that I am perhaps not a great fit, culture-wise, in this team. I have never argued or picked battles with this director, most of the time I just avoid him because he seems to have it against me. Even my mentor, who is a senior in this team and has a seat in the round table, have told me consistently that he is bad mouthing me at every opportunity in the round table and that he seems to have a huge grudge against me. My own mentor does not know why. I am confounded by his behaviour!
My sympathies. This is a tough one. I’m inclined to agree with @ibd-london" here.
Just reflecting on my own experience with some of this, and also seeing it happen with other people, you’re probably getting one of the heaviest workloads because you are recognized - consciously or subconsciously by your directors/MDs - as providing top deliverables (quality, speed, little need to mark up or no weird surprises, etc). People always like to go with someone dependable.
However, your top shelf work doesn’t translate to them liking or loving you enough to go to bat for you against this other director. You might be viewed as a workhorse or resource. Or maybe they think you’re going to leave the group/firm someday (because you seem miserable, even if you don’t outwardly complain and consistently do your work well), so they figure they’ll just get as much utility out of you as possible before you eventually leave.
You’d think that someone that doesn’t complain, does a lot of work well, and whose work quality is recognized would be well reviewed. But sadly, there are a lot of things (politics, and “likability”) that factor in. That person that’s coasting - is he well liked? Or the son of someone important? It’s possible that he has a close relationship with key seniors in your team, and frankly that goes a lot farther than work quality. When someone is well liked (by the right people), they get preferential treatment (again consciously and subconsciously) in the form of (1) more recognition for same or less work, (2) less grunt work, (3) more visibility with clients or exposure to things outside their title, (4) more free time and benefit of the doubt.
Finally, going back to the workhorse issue. A great analyst may not make a great associate or great VP. As you go up the chain, it’s more about your soft skills. “Is she someone I can put in front of the client?”, “Can I bring her along to a meeting or conference and have her make a connection with others?”, “is she someone that can represent our firm, and someday generate business for us?”... all these questions relate back to culture and fit. So if they’re telling you you look miserable, I think it’s a hint that despite your good deliverables, you’re probably not a fit for the team in the long-run.
In terms of what to do and any lessons to learn...
Lessons:
Make sure people know your contributions and value-add - market yourself/control your own “brand”: From another woman’s perspective (and this is something I’ve heard from others as well), we often don’t do as good of a job as men in tooting our own horn. We don’t boldly take our fair credit for things when we led or ran something, because we think “oh, it was a team effort” or “I might appear shameless by doing so”... and sometimes when we do, it’s not perceived the same was as it would if a guy did it (being viewed as “aggressive” vs “assertive or confident”). But, you need to be comfortable in speaking up, being visible, and being top of mind to be recognized. If you’re meek (don’t manage expectations or push back earlier in your relationships as needed, it becomes harder to do so later on). If you don’t take the initiative to define yourself, others can do it for you
Soft skills and polish are important: It’s great to be known as someone that provides top deliverables, but that only takes you so far. Soft skills become more important over time because eventually you’d get to the point where you’re directing someone to do the work or leading on it. You need to demonstrate that you have those skill sets that can take you beyond the junior levels. “Is she someone we can mold into a future leader?”
Develop your relationships (work and network) - besides working hard, you need to set some time aside to grab coffees and develop a good rapport with people. Its easier for people to recognize and sing your praises if they genuinely like you. Similarly, find time to develop a network of peers. Helps gives you perspective on how other people work in their groups and deal with things
What to do now? Do you like what you do, or your firm? Do you want to leave for something else? You’ll need to start thinking about these things. If you want to leave, you should start chatting with people and recruiters to see what’s out there. If you want to stay, you could find someone - an MD or director or mentor - that you’re closer with and trust, grab a coffee, and say something along the lines of “hey, about the review - I think I do great work, and the team has consistently said the same - but I have been working a lot - more avg hrs than others, so naturally I’m going to be more stressed and look tired, etc... I honestly really like the team and what I do, and want to make sure people know that and get closer to the team. Do you have any advice?”
Thank you for this feedback. I am currently looking out and hoping to find something else soon.
My own mentor has often tried to push me in front of my MD, telling me that my MD needs to know more about the 'great work' I've been doing. He uses this word, and I have looked through the feedbacks received during performance review. Aside from this one director, everyone has given me positive feedbacks and mentioned how much I have helped deals. However, it seems that the MD is only taking into consideration this director's feedback. You're right, the director who complaint about me is well liked by the MDs in my team, but I often wonder why! His technicals are pretty bad, I have seen a few clients complain about him personally (one even threatened to pull the deal from the firm should he continue being in the deal team) and neither is he a white knight (he has never brought a client to the firm before). Yet he is consistently promoted and clearly the MD cares about his thoughts if I get a speaking to when he complains and everyone else doesn't. Thoughts on how to be well liked despite these shortcomings would also be great!
This quote is probably partially why he isn't a big fan of yours. What makes you qualified to judge your director's work? That's the kind of attitude that will get you into trouble with superiors, especially in Asia and other hierarchical countries. Oh, and his job isn't to know the technicals, that's why they bring analysts to meetings. Being a good director and being a good analyst are two very different roles and your posts make you sound like the typical hard-working production analyst with sub-par office politics skills.
I doubt that this is as one-sided as you have posted here, but I do have sympathy for your situation. I support the other posters above; You should look for a new employer sooner rather than later.
The story of the large client threatening to pull the deal sounds exaggerated or misunderstood. Hard to imagine any director keeping his job under those circumstances, especially if he is not a rainmaker as you say.
In fact, imagine a director who does stellar work but doesn't bring in clients or show promise for bringing in clients soon . . even that guy would have a hard time keeping a job. A director who jeopardizes major client relationships would be gone fast. Something doesn't add up.
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