Can lawyer-banker couples last?

I'll start work at a Biglaw firm next year. My boyfriend is an ibanker, and we manage okay right now mainly because the third year of law school is a breeze and I have more time than he does. But the majority of my lawyer friends who dated finance guys eventually broke up because there was too much stress/long hours for both of them and they never saw each other, eventually someone started cheating, etc.

I fully expect to work from dawn to dusk every day and be grateful for it ITE, but I worry that with his unpredictable hours and my unpredictable hours, how we are going to manage things. We've been dating for only 4 months so far, is it's not like we've built a huge foundation, but I like him a lot and I absolutely want this to be a LTR.

Have any of you dated a lawyer or know somebody who dated a lawyer? Does it typically work out? What did the successful banker-lawyer couples do right?

 

What I am saying is you are living a pitiful existence when you need random inputs to describe the probability that your relationship will end favorably. Why not read a book on probability; or if you are a stalwart I'm sure there are books on how to trudge through relationships and marriage.

 

I'm not asking for statistics or "random inputs", I'm looking for people who have been through a similar experience successfully or know someone who has, because I don't know anyone in real life who has managed this. Threads have been created on this forum before about dating bankers, so this is nothing unusual. But thanks for playing!

 

lol

jktecon is pretty much on point with this one.

but I'll tell you what...

I'm currently unemployed, so if you just need someone to be there for you when you get home, I think we can arrange something.

pm me.

If I disagree with you, it's because you're wrong.
 

Right, hopefully you get all the non-objective, online forum submitted relationship advice you need to make your life decision. I still stick to my suggestion of a book on probability; my recommendation: The cartoon guide to statistics.

 

Lawyer/banker couples last exactly 50% of the time. Read in to that as you will.

“...all truth passes through three stages. First, it is ridiculed. Second, it is violently opposed. Third, it is accepted as being self-evident.” - Schopenhauer
 
Best Response

I've dated other bankers, and a girl at an advertising agency where the hours were surprisingly shitty. I think the obvious fact is that it depends on how mutually dedicated you are towards making things work out, how understanding you can be, and how trusting you are. The hours are going to be awful, although they get slightly more manageable once he hits VP/Director.

I'd do a search on this site, the subject of dating people in banking has come up before and quality advice has been given. I know that law in particular is a very demanding field, in fact your hours may be worse than his as a first year. A close friend of mine is at Cravath, I see him about once a month, at best. But hey, it's all uphill from here.

I would focus on enjoying the time you do have, lowering your expectations where possible, and asking yourself honestly how rarely could you see this person and still feel good about being together.

 

I don't understand where the hostility comes from. The girl's trying to find someone with experience she can relate to and probably ask for advice. Aren't you all doing the same? Asking people with more experience what career path/job offer to take? It's not even a dumb dating question but more of a work-life balance act question. If you have nothing to contribute, don't mock!

My formula for success is rise early, work late and strike oil - JP Getty
 

biglawgirlfriend, It depends on many factors which only both you and your boyfriend know. I've seen this type of relationship with a colleague, and they're both now happily married.

That's not to say they didn't have their fair share of cancelled dates, holidays and tip-toeing to bed at 4 am in the mornin type scenarios.

Discuss it with him and do the best your can. Good luck.

 

What does anyone coming into this type of work expect their lives to be like?

They know it's not a nine to five.

You would think someone who is smart enough to pass the bar, let alone get into a big law firm, would have been prudent enough to think about this sort of thing during the eight or so years they put into becoming a lawyer in the first place.

If I disagree with you, it's because you're wrong.
 
cold pizza 2:
What does anyone coming into this type of work expect their lives to be like?

They know it's not a nine to five.

You would think someone who is smart enough to pass the bar, let alone get into a big law firm, would have been prudent enough to think about this sort of thing during the eight or so years they put into becoming a lawyer in the first place.

Smart enough to pass the bar? A trained monkey could pass the bar if it studied long enough.
 

just end it... you're too young and focused to be bothered by trying to maintain a relationship...

Full disclosure... im 23 in a month and tired of being in this 2 year relationship with my girl lol

Get it!
 

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