depressed/lonely/addictions

Hi all, moved to Texas for work. Had offer retracted and such took the first opportunity that came my way. Work is more or less the same (IM). However, these last three months have been horrible. While work is fine, I am not able to adjust to the lifestyle/vibes here (born and raised and college in Boston). I do not know a single soul here and am an introvert. I played poker so go to the card houses to get some form of social interaction/go out of the house and what not but have had a bad run lately (down 2k). I have been taking my prescribed pills at much higher doses and simply do not know how I can combat this depression and loneliness. I personally feel that resigning and moving back home might be best but am not sure if that is the best career move. What are your thoughts. 

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Comments (18)

Oct 10, 2021 - 1:01am

Big life transitions can take a long time to get used to. Don't be afraid to take time off to visit home, spend time with your family and people you're close with. If you can't take time off work then call your friends or family, encourage them to visit you if they can. Also find a good daily and weekly routine. Explore the city you're in. go check out new places you haven't seen yet. take walks, listen to podcasts, workout more, learn how to play golf, find a popular friday night happy hour spot and try to meet people. just keep yourself as busy as possible and before you know it you'll forget you were even feeling down. easier said then done tho, try to keep your head up, this whole community supports you

Oct 10, 2021 - 1:16am

I've got offers from Texas and Ohio, and damn good offers too, cause low cost of living and since there's less talent you can plunder your boss in salary negotiations.

Dreading the loneliness though.  

  • Associate 1 in RE - Comm
Oct 10, 2021 - 10:13am

How have your attempts to meet people gone? Have you tried finding any alumni groups in the city? Joined any sports groups? Have you been going to the gym? Tried dating apps? Making friends with roommates? Going to networking events for your industry?

It sounds like you just go to work and play poker - you're not going to meet people doing that. If you have genuinely been making attempts (aka been doing the above things regularly), then maybe think about moving home. But my guess is you haven't been putting in the work 

Oct 10, 2021 - 11:29am

I have an introverted brainy nephew who took a job as an engineer far away from home.  For socialization, he drove for Uber, which I know sounds a little wacky but I think it helped him.  If you do not exercise, I would start doing it or ramp it up, if you already have an exercise regimen.  If you have not already, try to make some friends at the office.  

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Oct 10, 2021 - 1:52pm

Workout until you feel like you're suffering, then workout some more. Chug water, eat your greens, take at least 5000 IU of D3.

"If you always put limits on everything you do, physical or anything else, it will spread into your work and into your life. There are no limits. There are only plateaus, and you must not stay there, you must go beyond them." - Bruce Lee

  • 1
Oct 12, 2021 - 3:53pm

Very sorry to hear that you are struggling. It must be difficult doing this all on your own, but I believe that it takes time to adjust and if you've gotten this far, you can definitely do it! Especially hard since you have been in bos your whole life, but gradually getting out there and meeting people, maybe coworkers, will help turn things around. It's hard to decide what the right move is, but just know you're doing great and everything will be okay!

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Oct 13, 2021 - 10:49am

>The Iron is the best antidepressant I have ever found. There is no better way to fight weakness than with strength. Once the mind and body have been awakened to their true potential, it's impossible to turn back.

>The Iron never lies to you. You can walk outside and listen to all kinds of talk, get told that you're a god or a total bastard. The Iron will always kick you the real deal. The Iron is the great reference point, the all-knowing perspective giver. Always there like a beacon in the pitch black. I have found the Iron to be my greatest friend. It never freaks out on me, never runs. Friends may come and go. But two hundred pounds is always two hundred pounds.

https://www.oldtimestrongman.com/articles/the-iron-by-henry-rollins/

Get your ass in the gym. 

PS - you're in Texas... you can play golf all year round. You are in God's country. 

Oct 13, 2021 - 4:12pm

Bumble BFF. Awkward at first, but good way to meet people who are in a similar situation and to grow your social circle. Just like with landing a great job, you have to put in the effort. It won't happen by itself. Also: quit Instagram, TikTok, etc.

Oct 15, 2021 - 10:38pm

meetup.com

If you do go the bumble, or other online dating,route treat it like you'd treat work e-mail.

Go, Go, Excel

Oct 16, 2021 - 11:24am

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