Evolution of the Financier
Mod Note: Each day we'll be posting the top WSO forum posts of 2014. This one was originally posted on 1/6/14 and ranks #28 for the year by total silver banana count. You can see all our top ranked content here.
Once upon a time you had virtually no responsibilities and days were spent watching SportsCenter and eating Cocoa Puffs and the hardest decision you had to make was where and with whom you were going to pregame later that evening. Life was great...
You may not have had your life fully together like all the nerds out there, but you had a sense of self and life was good. Eat. Booze. Sleep. Repeat.
Some people might not have agreed with your transient hobo lifestyle, laissez faire approach to hygiene, and non-existent work ethic, but it was easy to duck Mom's phone calls and avoid professors other than on exam day.
But at a certain point you saw one of your older fraternity brothers returning from his banking internship and after a few too many shots of Vladdy at a pregame he let slip to you how much he made that summer and things began to change.
The only logical conclusion you could draw was that you were going to be a BSD in the future. It was a foregone conclusion, really...
But you soon realized that you knew nothing about banking or finance and your frat bro wasn't very willing to show you the ropes.
Eventually, after talking to some overeager kid in your econ class you stumbled upon WSO and realized just how much you needed to learn and how hard it was going to be to break in.
This stuff wasn't rocket science but it was a bit confusing and it was certainly a lot to process for a n00b.
But you collected yourself and decided that you were up to the task. You popped the red pill and down the rabbit hole you went.
You began caring about your grades and would even participate in class.
Your frat brothers probably started to give you a lot of shit for being a nerd and spending too much time at the library.
But you couldn't care less because you knew that soon enough you would be an Investment Banking Analyst, and the world would be yours.
After tons of info sessions, coffee meet ups, and phone screens you received a call inviting you to a super day.
But it didn't go as well as you had hoped it would. You had memorized the basic questions, but then the interviewer asked you something outside of your comfort zone. You answered the question as best you could, but you could tell that your response wasn't what he was looking for.
The technical questions stopped after this and he then asked if you had any questions for him... You knew this wasn't a good sign. You finished up the interview and waited patiently by the phone for the next two weeks hoping to hear back, but you never did.
Self doubt began to creep up and you began to wonder if you were wasting your time. You played it off to your friends because you didn't want people to think you actually cared.
But you did care. So you doubled down and prepped even more for your remaining interviews.
Eventually you got a call offering you a summer analyst position and you were ecstatic.
And you made sure to let your doubters know that you made it happen.
The summer flew by. It was a challenge, but you had a great attitude and you don't really remember much because it was kind of a blur. There was just so much work and you were pretty slow at everything.
But people were pretty nice to you...
The summer finally drew to a close and though you weren't as exuberant about banking as you were before the summer, you still felt accomplished and you had saved a bit of cash. Things were looking up...
After an enjoyable last year at school, graduating with your friends and a quick vacation it was nearly time for training to begin. You figured you would hit up your old group to see how things were. You expected everyone to be as nice and accommodating as they were when you interned, but things seemed slightly different.
The experienced analysts, while not trying to overtly rain on your parade were more than willing to foreshadow what was to come. But in your naivety you avoided their wisdom...
You partied a little bit during training, probably didn't pay attention as much as you should, but when you hit the desk you were all business...
And then banking happened... The next six months of your life probably looked something like this...
One day your Associate came to you frustrated and asked you, "Why don't these numbers tie?"
You apologized and legitimately felt bad about it...
Your Associate probably responded with something like...
or
At times it seemed that it was simply too much.
When this happened, you felt no shame in calling your parents for a little pep talk.
You told yourself it would get easier. Most likely it didn't... At least not for a while... But one day you had a breakthrough when postulating how much work they could realistically ask you to do... As twisted as it sounds, the acknowledgement of this epiphany allowed you to deal with the stress...
And you adjusted to the fatigue.
And became an emotionally stunted modeling machine.
Your thoughts inevitably turned to the buy side...
But you might have had second thoughts about leaving early or even leaving at all...
... Hopefully, at this point, your friends who had already made the move provided you with solid advice...
And you locked down a PE or HF offer...
After this, whenever someone yelled at you, you just mentally imagined this happening...
Despite all the bitterness and exhaustion, you still look back on your experience and are relieved you did it, even though you will probably now look and feel like this...
... And now that you are on the buy side, you realize that the cycle begins all over again...
But it gets easier and the money gets better...
Best get to it...
https://soundcloud.com/ultrarecords/tomswoon-parisblohm-synchronize
sweet +1
Enjoyed it.
yeah this isnt happening for most people on here lol
hahah love it, you're killing the gif game rufio
Enjoyed the read, thanks!
Love it, great stuff
solid.
This is the funniest post I've read in a while. Good shit.
I am glad to say that I am at least at a stage in one of those parts of those aforementioned slides. Yay me.
Chris Bosh looking suspect as usual
So true, sometimes it seems he really doesn't even need to try.
Well done.
funny stuff but jeez how much free time do you have
are you a buzz feed writer?
we tumblr now?
Great post, OP
Another entertaining post, rufio. Nice.
good stuff
The f*ck is this, buzzfeed?!
You put way too much effort into that. Have a shiny banana
To be fair, these things honestly don't take a super long time to make..
Well done. I agree with the posters above saying it resembles something from Buzzfeed, but that's probably what you were going for, so props.
Seeing where I currently am in this cycle is somewhat scary
"Emotionally stunted modeling machine"
PRETTY MUCH
I'm glad rufio blogs are back.
@rufiolove, you GOTTA do more of these. Priceless.
Impressive
Is WSO really trying to emulate buzzfeed?
This is not the format you guys should be striving for. Buzzfeed is the cracked.com for the ADD generation who can't be bothered to read.
@"rufiolove" Happy new year, brotha! Great work here. Hope you're doing well.
Happy new year to you as well! I'm doing well, my man... doing well indeed. I think we are overdue for another bender. Let's discuss soon.
lol @rufio, yes these things are incredibly easy to make.... idk why they think it took a huge chunck of your time to do so.
Surprisingly good
Relating to the story: I'm about to hit the library, so to speak.
Great post!
'I'm the guy who does his job... you must be the other guy' lol
Great post.
Enjoyed it.
Superb.
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