Help a fellow monkey

Don’t send the flowers unless you’re planning on putting your name on them. Anonymous flowers are a bad move. However, if you decide you do in fact want to advance things with her, own up to the flowers and send them with pride.

And what about if the interest is one sided? We share the same friends, wouldn’t this lead to a quite akward situation?

I haven’t seen her since late January, and I will not be able to see her until late February as I am out of town.

I really haven’t paid attention in the past to eventual interest signs, and I am trying to understand if it’s maybe better to wait before risking ruining our friendship.

What’s your view on this?

Ask her if she wants to smash.... If not why even bother being friends? also Sunshine Funshine is this you broski?

Don't know if you're still in high school, in college, or post-college: it matters.

My take is if it's post-college - just bite the bullet and ask her out - or at least test the waters a little if you're afraid that it'll mess up your friendship. Don't send anonymous flowers - too many variables and (frankly) it's highly unlikely she'll think it's from you - knee jerk reaction is probably from the recent ex (per - she is recently single this year).

This sounds like something out a movie, and only worked in the movie bc its a movie.

I think you, the OP, get a good feeling from thinking about being in a relationship with this lady, but would rather soak in that feeling than risk actually asking her out. You don't need to send flowers, maybe call/send a text saying when you'll be in town and want to ask her.

My two cents as a female... unidentified gifts sent to one's home or one's place of work, they always seem well-received in movies or tv.

Truth of the matter is, in real life, gifts without knowledge of the sender are more often than not, unsettling to the recipient. You never know all the in's and out's of what's gone on in someone's romantic life and how they'll respond... will your gift, as innocent and well-intended as you might mean it to be [re: your cheering her up comment]... will it be perceived as invasive or inviting?

It would be very different if you already knew where she stood re: reciprocating your feelings. As others here have previously said, find out first how she feels and then make the appropriate move.

Thanks everyone for the help. Hearing your opinion was very important to me, as you provided solid advice. As my username suggests I will go back to my account, and will keep controbuting to this amazing community.

Don't overthink this. Send her the flowers and write a thoughtful note (but not too long that's creepy). The truth is that she either has some capacity feelings for you or you are clearly in the friend zone. You have nothing to lose and everything to gain by trying.

Even the flowers are lame. Don't send flowers to people unless you are confirmed to be in some form of relationship in (e.g., bring flowers on first date, etc.)

Just ask her out. If you want to be anything more than friends, there will always be risk. This is a finance forum, there is no reward without risk. What matters is how much risk are you personally willing to accept? If you feel that the potential for a relationship with this woman is worth the risk, then just be upfront and ask. If not, then don't.

Everything else is noise and makes you look less decisive and less confident.

Holyshit this is some next level cringe.

Man the fuck up, stop being a beta cuck and ask her out. If she says no then fuck her friends. Do not ever buy flowers for a girl unless you are already fucking her, that shit is for lame romcoms.

Obviously it’s a risk - but you want something different from status quo, so if that’s worth the rejection then pass on flowers but own up to your feelings.

I can’t be the only guy on this forum who’s had a female friend need to explain to him that we’re just friends. Yeah rejection sucks and it’s awkward at first, but it’s no big deal in the long run.

This post just gave me Low T

Usually a friend going after a girl in the same friend group is pretty tricky because if she's not interested it makes things pretty weird for the group.. I kind of view it as a don't shit where you eat situation.. and if she hasn't shown much interest or if you haven't really made a great connection with her then this could backfire. However, if you don't see it as making things that weird then go for it. Got nothing to lose from just a no

Tell her how you feel. Best case, you guys give it a go. Worst case, the dead end friendship ends. You're in the money either way.

Flowers are pretty mild, it's not as big of a deal as you think it's going to be.

Just send her flowers and make sure she knows they are from you and not anyone else. If she feels the same in any way you'll know by her response. If you guys are close friends I don't see how this could negatively harm your relationship. She's either gonna be reciprocative or she's just gonna tell you she appreciates it and that it was sweet. You can just leave it as is if the latter happens.. and continue being just friends.

And if she gets offended or weirded out by you simply getting her flowers be glad it happened now and just drop the dead friendship

Give her the flowers anonymously and then hope her "flirt" takes responsibility for them. Call him out on his house of lies and expose him. Then say you got her the flowers to make her day better no implications. She will come around to you. This way you don't seem like you're into her and she will appreciate the gesture. Brownie points, man! You gotta start somewhere without an all out bold move.

This is easy. If you like her, then ask her out. Then you'll know how she feels and you can move on one way or another. It really is that simple. Don't overthink it.

Carpe F*ckin diem! Do it, Own it, life is too short wondering if you could have or should have told her how you feel.

May the force be with you and Good luck!

Mode 1

You're overthinking. Just ask her out. If she says "yes", cool. If not, ask her sister out instead. See who gets who flowers then.

Also, who gives a shit about your mutual friends? It sounds like you have good intentions asking this girl out. Why would your "friends" turn their backs on you? There may be potential awkwardness at first, but that should subside eventually. Nothing more than water under-the-bridge.

Quite frankly, it may do you good to hang out with some straight guys, even the douchy type. If the girl doesn't like you back, then why would you want to stay friends anyway? So you can fetch her tampons and help her pick out her next bf? Don't treat her like a prick, but have some self-respect man!

Don't feel bad or offended, just some tough love. I'm no womanizer myself.

When did this website become Cosmo: Finance Edition