Yeah so maybe in the late teens "I hate my parents" position. 

I generally did my own thing in my 20s, and it wasn't until my 30s that I realized how grateful I was for what my parents did for me. Now I basically am there for them for everything until they pass......

"If you always put limits on everything you do, physical or anything else, it will spread into your work and into your life. There are no limits. There are only plateaus, and you must not stay there, you must go beyond them." - Bruce Lee
 

i just got off a couple month streak of ghosting my mom. we gucci again now. long story

my brother and i are never in a good place at the same time it seems. i reach out he doesn't reply and vice versa. he's also an annoying fucking college kid pothead who failed out of pre engineering

my sister's like a corporate drone type lady. i have many resentments for her regarding childhood events. my kid plays with her kids tho and her husband's my client so we play nice

i cut off my grandpa recently

my actual real family that i picked i am super fucking close with

heister: Look at all these wannabe richies hating on an expensive salad. https://arthuxtable.com/
 
Most Helpful

I'm in my early-mid 20s. Very close with my parents but not so much with extended family because we live across different continents (I'm a first-generation immigrant in the US). Even after I moved away for school and work, I spoke with my mom and dad over the phone at least once a week and ~every other day over text. I moved back in during the pandemic to save on rent and find myself having moments where I realize how much I take for granted with them.

One day they're going to pass and the shitty part is how that large void is going to be the sum of a lot of tiny moments that seem insignificant today. The other day I was just chilling in the kitchen while my mom was cooking and my dad helping. They were bantering about someone they knew that my dad ran into the grocery store that morning, them both pausing every once in a while to lecture me on some point made within their banter (e.g., reminding me to trust only my family and to be careful of who I marry, my mom telling me to not go outside with wet hair, random shit like that). Somewhere in the middle of that blip in time, it hit me that I'll one day be standing in a similar kitchen and they actually won't be there anymore... That it would be just me in that kitchen alone longing for my mom to "annoy" me with some of that advice. Of course, I'll have my own family by that time but I've become more and more appreciative of how precious life is and moments can pass you by quickly if you blink too fast. I love my parents and try to catch myself before I say anything bratty or disrespectful. I also feel pressure on my back to try and help them retire as soon as possible because never know when time together gets short unexpectedly.

FUCK YOU ISAIAH, GOT ME TEARING UP LIKE A LIL BITCH RIGHT NOW BRO

 

I think about this a lot. That void sucks man. I lost my grandmother last August, I was incredibly close with her and loved her more than the world. I would always get annoyed when she would always refer to me as "the baby" even though I am 25 and doing OK in life, and I'm not even remotely the youngest grandkid. And her always telling me to be careful or not do fun thinks like get fucked up always used to be mildly annoying, in a way that is funny to look back and laugh about. Now I don't hear that anymore, and god damn what I wouldn't give to get told not to stay out late by her one more time. I'd do anything to hug her one more time. Can't imagine what that'll be like when my mom and dad are gone. Fucking Isiah got me tearing up too.

Dayman?
 

I'm sorry to hear, dude. I think the same way about my fianceé and close friends also, especially when I read and hear about young people dying unexpectedly. What scares me more is that I have yet to experience death that close to me. I've lost uncles and grandparents I didn't know that well on account of being so far from them for the past couple of decades. We video-called on Skype every odd month and I was sad when they passed but I didn't have them in my life every day to feel an actual piece of me disappear. That story is going to be very different when my parents pass and others around me if tragedy strikes any of us at too soon of an age. I worry about how I'll cope with it.

It makes me feel guilty when I slow down in life, too. I want to be able to provide for all these people if I can while also not forgetting to spend as much time with them as I can along the way. To quite J. Cole:

I roll with some fiends, I love them to death
I got a few mil but not all of them rich
What good is the bread if my [boys] is broke?
What good is first class if my [boys] can't sit?
That's my next mission, that's why I can't quit
Just like LeBron, get my [boys] more chips

Side note: I read your post below and can sympathize with the shitty family trying to take advantage of death in the family tree. I will never understand how some can be so shortsighted and callous. What made it especially hard for me was that my grandpa passed one sea over and there was nothing my dad could do for his mom while his brother pillaged what little she had left, feigning zero love for her while doing so. Still pisses me off to this day and my dad, despite this, still stays in touch with his brother because of the blood relation. I refuse to communicate with him when he calls and haven't spoken to him in years. Blood or not, that isn't family.

 

I'm in my early-mid 20s. Very close with my parents but not so much with extended family because we live across different continents (I'm a first-generation immigrant in the US). Even after I moved away for school and work, I spoke with my mom and dad over the phone at least once a week and ~every other day over text. I moved back in during the pandemic to save on rent and find myself having moments where I realize how much I take for granted with them.

One day they're going to pass and the shitty part is how that large void is going to be the sum of a lot of tiny moments that seem insignificant today. The other day I was just chilling in the kitchen while my mom was cooking and my dad helping. They were bantering about someone they knew that my dad ran into the grocery store that morning, them both pausing every once in a while to lecture me on some point made within their banter (e.g., reminding me to trust only my family and to be careful of who I marry, my mom telling me to not go outside with wet hair, random shit like that). Somewhere in the middle of that blip in time, it hit me that I'll one day be standing in a similar kitchen and they actually won't be there anymore... That it would be just me in that kitchen alone longing for my mom to "annoy" me with some of that advice. Of course, I'll have my own family by that time but I've become more and more appreciative of how precious life is and moments can pass you by quickly if you blink too fast. I love my parents and try to catch myself before I say anything bratty or disrespectful. I also feel pressure on my back to try and help them retire as soon as possible because never know when time together gets short unexpectedly.

FUCK YOU ISAIAH, GOT ME TEARING UP LIKE A LIL BITCH RIGHT NOW BRO

You're right on the money with this. The little moments are special times that many take for granted. Its great you realize this and appreciate them as they are in limited supply. 

"If you always put limits on everything you do, physical or anything else, it will spread into your work and into your life. There are no limits. There are only plateaus, and you must not stay there, you must go beyond them." - Bruce Lee
 

You know how in some film cuts they'll show someone alone in a setting then cut in some moment with them there in the same setting but at a more vibrant time with loved ones around and then again cut back to them alone in that same setting but a dark version of it with no one there again? That's literally how my mind "flickered" when the thought in my story hit me. I caught myself tearing up and had to excuse myself for a moment.

Conclusion: I'm a little bitch.

 

What's left of my family is very tight knit (my nuclear family, relatives, etc). We do a lot together and always gather for holidays and whatnot. I am especially very close with a lot of my cousins, both my age and younger. I was raised in a way that put family at the center of everything, and that really stuck with me and a lot of my cousins of my generation.

I say "what's left" because we had a huge split in my family when some of my relatives manipulated my dying aunt, who everyone loved, into changing her will to fuck over my grandmother. She was late stage brain cancer, so she had no idea what was going on, and they fucking dragged her to a law office and had her change it. My grandma paid for a lot of her stuff even though she didn't have a lot of money, and this woulda helped her a lot. Instead a lot went to the ringleader, a fucking doctor, who didn't need shit. It was messed up and we dont talk to them anymore. Bunch of racist sad fucks anyways. 

After my grandma died a couple months ago, we sent out a bunch of letters to all of the people involved. She wrote these by hand, pages and pages detailing everything she did for them, every sacrifice, every helping hand whenever they were in a tough time. She was meticulous about keeping receipts, so there was evidence too. She absolutely buried them in these letters and did it from beyond the grave so she could get the final laugh. It was the most savage thing I've ever seen. When she was dying, she had people from all over the world coming to tell her how much they loved her. Italy, Switzerland, the UK, South Africa, Australia... it was surreal. People I never met saying she was like a mom to them. Even though she had to fight shitty relatives and cancer, it was clear that her real family was so much larger than we could have ever imagined. This is how you live life folks. And on top of that, the brain cancer never took her mind away like it did to my aunt, and she was her wonderful self to the end. On her deathbed she was telling me not to text and drive. It was clear that even though it was a losing battle, she had already won. I fucking love you Nana. 

Dayman?
 

>Mom: She´s everything, mom, dad, grandparents, best friend, all in one. Comes with being a single mom, I guess. I genuinly don´t know how I will continue to live when she leaves me, she´s the one person I truly love.

>Dad: Gave me his brains and shitty personality, so I guess that´s something. Not much else to say here.

>Siblings: Close, but could be closer. First one is walled-off by nature, second one by choice and by not being a kid anymore. First one, I used to fight with a lot, and violently, now we kinda respect and trust each other. Second one, I used to be closer with, but they are a bit of a weather vane, sadly.

>Rest: Getting closer with my one aunt and my cousin. Nice lady. Distant cousins somewhere else, don´t care much about them.

 

Extremely close with my parents. They immigrated to the states ~30 years ago. They did everything that they could to send me to a good college. We weren't wealthy but we were able to live well by the time I went to high school. I'll always be forever grateful for them.

The one (and arguably only) bright side of the pandemic is that it's helped us get even closer (I went back home). But even when I wasn't living under the same roof as them, I would talk to them nearly every day through text and every 2-3 days by phone. I plan to do everything in my power to take care of them when they get older. My dad has taken great care of his parents, both of whom stay with my parents now.

As the expression goes, "East or west, home is the best."

Array
 

parents have been split for decades, talk to each of them at least weekly via text or phone. brother and I have a congenial relationship after a major blowup years ago (long story), we've both matured we just don't have a ton in common so don't really keep in touch that often.

relationship with mom hasn't always been easy, another long story, but I've come to similar conclusions as BoBandy and Nightman Cometh about the impermanence of it all, so I just suck it up, whatever gripes I have are immaterial in the long run, and I will most certainly miss her when she's gone.

 

Been no contact with my mother for over 8 years after she kicked me out. All kinds of non-physical abuse and mental illness for what you could call my 'childhood'. I don't talk to her dad or one of her siblings either. That side of the family is fucked up: either they're abusive or they were on the receiving end.

Everyone else is great. I have an even better relationship with my siblings now than when we were living with both parents. They were terrible for each other, always fighting and we were all relieved in a way when they split up. Divorce isn't over yet, that's also been 8+ years long.

tl;dr some family make my life so much better, and others are toxic for me. Gotta separate one from the other and focus on the good ones.

 

Parents are separated. Have not spoken to my mother since high school when she up and fled the country to avoid outstanding debts owed to various entities. After my parents separated, she became a pill-popping alcoholic and started associating with less than reputable people.

Still close with my dad and we talk regularly.

 

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