How Do I Become Better Than Other People?

Lacking in any inner charm or substance, I need to feel superior to other people through my choice of servitude. What kind of master should I grovel to in order to become superior to more well-adjusted people? How do I please this master? What kinds of schools should I attend to win the attention of the most prestigious masters? Is a 3.6 GPA high enough? What kinds of suits should I wear when supplicating to prospective masters for employment? Is it OK to wear bit loafers?

 

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Career Advancement Opportunities

April 2024 Investment Banking

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  • Goldman Sachs 19 98.8%
  • Harris Williams & Co. New 98.3%
  • Lazard Freres 02 97.7%
  • JPMorgan Chase 03 97.1%

Overall Employee Satisfaction

April 2024 Investment Banking

  • Harris Williams & Co. 18 99.4%
  • JPMorgan Chase 10 98.8%
  • Lazard Freres 05 98.3%
  • Morgan Stanley 07 97.7%
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Professional Growth Opportunities

April 2024 Investment Banking

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  • Jefferies & Company 02 98.8%
  • Goldman Sachs 17 98.3%
  • Moelis & Company 07 97.7%
  • JPMorgan Chase 05 97.1%

Total Avg Compensation

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  • Associates (87) $260
  • 3rd+ Year Analyst (14) $181
  • Intern/Summer Associate (33) $170
  • 2nd Year Analyst (66) $168
  • 1st Year Analyst (205) $159
  • Intern/Summer Analyst (146) $101
notes
16 IB Interviews Notes

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