Been all about grinding out for work that I think I neglected on myself ( no dating/girls etc). Was talking for the first time in a while with a close friend and all of a sudden I could not make conversation on things that wasn't finance-related.
That sudden realization disgusted me. What can I do to regain/develop my personality again?
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Find new shit you’re passionate about, revisit old passions, etc. So much shit out there; sports, art, music, film, games, etc
great way to blue ball friend zone yourself.
You actually don't have to be interesting at all if you just learn how to listen more than you talk and how to ask good questions. Your average boring guy loves to go down a list of biographical Q&A (where did you go to school, where do you live in the City, etc.). You can lead with something like that if you want, but if you ask interesting follow-ups (why you did / think this, what you like about XYZ, etc.) that go beyond surface-level info your conversation and relationships can really open up.
If you listen to good journalists, you can get a sense for how to ask open-ended questions that will actually prompt an interesting response. Doesn't have to feel like an NPR-style formal interview either... this is going to sound ridiculous but in all honesty the Pardon My Take guys are excellent at doing this while also still coming across as genuine / normal people you'd want to hang out with.
I'm a people person but hate talking about myself. My philosophy is I already know everything I'm going to say, I'd rather ask someone something interesting and learn a bit more about their life, industry, worldview, etc. So you get to pick up new tidbits (which ultimately make you more interesting, btw!) with the side effect of appearing super down-to-earth and engaged by the other party.
*dale carnegie has entered the chat*
solid af
like Louis theroux
aspergers vibes
Award winning listener right here
Sneak in time for yourself whenever you can, even if it’s just 10 minute here or there. Could be as simple as checking sports highlights, playing the keyboard with headphone on past midnight, read some comics, go for a weekend swim/jog/bike session, sketch the cityscape, whatever floats your boat.
Read more books on subjects like history, philosophy and science
Find solid hobbies. Fill up your weekend with them, don't let yourself sit in your apartment all day. Take weekend trips frequently - upstate, random cities in the US, skiing.
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