How to avoid work taking over your personality?

Been all about grinding out for work that I think I neglected on myself ( no dating/girls etc). Was talking for the first time in a while with a close friend and all of a sudden I could not make conversation on things that wasn't finance-related. 

That sudden realization disgusted me. What can I do to regain/develop my personality again? 

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Comments (14)

Nov 22, 2021 - 8:28am

This happened during my date - we both were just complaining about our old jobs and how our new jobs were great. She mentioned we sounded like such adults talking about work and I realized that damn I must sound so boring. I don't even work that much so no reason it should be my personality.

Turns out we both have gotten lazy and just watch tv after work and on the weekends. We both like walking on trails (because what else is there to do as an adult) and traveling. I brought up how I'm big into history and like to read books / watch documentaries. As is usually the case with girls, she's like "oh that's cool but I don't really do that". This is perfectly fine - everyone has their interests.

The fact of the matter is work is a huge part of your life, especially when you work a lot like someone in S&T. The key is to remember it's just a job - who would you be if you lost this job? Life is more than the job - I know it doesn't feel like it a lot, but try and find what you truly enjoy doing and try to do a bit of that each week.

Life can be simple, but that doesn't mean it's easy. I was supposed to be a professional athlete by this point in my life - meanwhile, I'm typing this from my apartment shower. Good luck and don't feel like you're the only one who's experienced this - it happens to a lot of people

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Nov 22, 2021 - 8:49am

You actually don't have to be interesting at all if you just learn how to listen more than you talk and how to ask good questions. Your average boring guy loves to go down a list of biographical Q&A (where did you go to school, where do you live in the City, etc.). You can lead with something like that if you want, but if you ask interesting follow-ups (why you did / think this, what you like about XYZ, etc.) that go beyond surface-level info your conversation and relationships can really open up. 

If you listen to good journalists, you can get a sense for how to ask open-ended questions that will actually prompt an interesting response. Doesn't have to feel like an NPR-style formal interview either... this is going to sound ridiculous but in all honesty the Pardon My Take guys are excellent at doing this while also still coming across as genuine / normal people you'd want to hang out with. 

I'm a people person but hate talking about myself. My philosophy is I already know everything I'm going to say, I'd rather ask someone something interesting and learn a bit more about their life, industry, worldview, etc. So you get to pick up new tidbits (which ultimately make you more interesting, btw!) with the side effect of appearing super down-to-earth and engaged by the other party. 

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Nov 22, 2021 - 3:37pm

Find solid hobbies. Fill up your weekend with them, don't let yourself sit in your apartment all day. Take weekend trips frequently - upstate, random cities in the US, skiing. 

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Nov 22, 2021 - 5:50pm

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