How to deal with a narc at work?
Currently doing an internship and I am sitting next to a narc of an intern.
1) He snakes me every time he gets the chance
2) He tries to out due me in every single way
3) Takes credit for things he didn’t do
4) Caught him on my computer while I was talking at a peer’s desk
The culture where I work at is pretty open in terms of arguing, swearing, as long as you 1) have position of power and/or 2) have good reason.
I’m thinking of explicitly calling him out next time he does something. What would you do? Also, he’s for sure a sociopath. His weakness is he’s very awkward, has no social skills (avoids all team night outs/conversations) and everyone finds him weird.
Do you call him out? Absolutely...
I went to a very elite private high school that was full of these types. You say "Everyone finds him weird" in that case you actually have very little to do. People in IB have brains and from what your describing this guy is not good at hiding his weaknesses. I believe this guy is going to F up. Do not worry focus on yourself and call him out if you feel you need to.
I was also thinking of a friendly alternative which is to maybe grab a drink with him and confront him. Would be cool to absolutely kill this internship as a duo if there's a possibility of it rather than one up'ing each other. What do you guys think?
That sounds like a terrible idea. He’s a bad guy, he’s not just going to change because you confronted him. And you want him digging his grave anyways.
Good advice about the situation. No way, don't grab a drink with him because it is just going to start conflicts. If this individual is starting problems like this, it is not an opportunity to befriend this person. You and this person are not going to be friends so a friendly social situation won't improve the situation. Realistically, this person is trying to screw you over to advance their career. Don't be friends, don't to the individual and call the person out if the individual does it again.
Agreed, and make sure you lock your screen when you step away from the desk from now on for sure.
How did you guys hire him in the first place?
Not to be "that guy", but it is waaaay more common than not that some entitled, undeserving kid of a rich/connected prick gets a job that they don't deserve. In my experience it is at minimum 30-40% of of the workforce: idiots whose mummy and daddy know someone.
The world is full of Aunt Beckies, most are just better at getting away with it.
What's an Aunt Becky?
Ignore him and make him feel like an outcast. Our interns had a narc in their class and that person did not receive an offer. Just communicate whats going on to a analyst you are comfortable with, and let them handle it.
One thing to add; would keep my distance also socially. If this guy is this bad, people will know about it, and you don't want to be associated with the person more than you have to be.
Sounds good thanks everyone.
I’m in the same situation as well, what if I just told my MD about what is going on?
then you'd be the narc. Oh and snitches get stitches.
When I was an analyst, I had a similar situation. There were 4 analysts in my group at the time: two second years (both great guys) and two first years (me and the narc). The narc would always 'spy' on us and try to gather intel. He would try to catch us doing anything not work related and would mention it to HR or our MD. One time he tried to sabotage a project I was working on with a VP by trying to say that there were all these legal/compliance issues I needed to look into, but there weren't and he was just trying to gum up the process and sabotage the project. On top of all of this he was awkward and antisocial.
The best method to deal with these types of people:
IGNORE - Do not voluntarily engage him, do not make conversation with him, do not invite him out for drinks. The only time you should be talking to this guy is for a mission critical step on a project. This way you give him less of a chance to bring you down.
DEFEND - If you catch him on your computer, call him out on it.
PROTECT - This is critical. You need to protect yourself from people like that. When you get up, even for a minute and he is around, lock your computer screen. Make sure you give yourself credit when you do something ect.
At the end of the day, these guys are obsessed with playing politics and as other posters said, they will eventually F up. He is wasting massive amounts of time and energy playing these stupid games which is time he can spend being productive and adding value, but he is choosing not to. This will eventually reflect poorly on him. He is also socially awkward as you mentioned; in this industry people will pick up on his lack of interpersonal skills and that will come back to haunt him (ie no return offer).
As for my story the narc analyst spent so much time playing politics, spying on us, attempting to sabotage us try and reporting us to HR/MDs that the quality of his work product declined. Over time people picked up and he was ranked bottom bucket all around come bonus season. After a year and a few months he was actually let go for a variety of reasons.
ive dealt with a narc twice, and twice tried to sort it out over a drink. neither time worked, you can't reverse engineer their psyche. They'll use getting drinks as another way to lower your guard. Simon says lays it out perfectly.
PISS IN HIS MOUTH to show dominance
Your comments are still gold, but the old username was much better.
ok ANALyst 1 in RE - Comm Anonymous
Hopefully you go out as a team to a bar and he gets drunk trying to impress everyone. If he’s just like you said he’ll try WAY to hard and make an ass out of himself.
Play it nice and wait for your chance to strike. Then utterly demolish him. Move in silence and violence, brotha.
WTF a moderator removed my comment, hows that inappropriate?
I gave a perfectly reasonable response, how was it inappropriate?
WSO is racist >:((((
very low effort troll
set him up with a honey trap...get video evidence...expose him in a lie where you have him caught red handed...get him fired, and then move on with your life.
Understand that a lot of you aren't very confrontational but I am. So, I would suggest if the behavior continues to address it in a manner which lets him know that you are aware of what he is doing but isn't aggressive or hostile. I've found that at least making them aware that you are fully cognizant of what is going on can help. People above are right in that he won't inherently change but you need to make it known you aren't someone he just fucks with to get ahead and a simple conversation can at least get you there. Again, don't make it mean or whatever but let him know you are aware and that it's not a dynamic you're looking to continue
Had an overzealous intern like this a few years back in our group. Kid wasn't a snake, but would always go out of his way to try to outperform whomever he was working with and ended up being a total pain in the end. I'd echo sentiments of other posters - protect yourself from his meddling but don't go out of your way to confront him. Nobody looks for heroes in the intern pool and seems like the sort of person that will self-implode anyway so better to focus time and attention elsewhere.
Being an intern is binary: you either get an offer, or don't so just focus on the former and find ways to differentiate yourself via your work product when you start full-time. An intern that is solid and flies under the radar is the best anyone can hope for.
mess with him. tell him your group head was looking for him when he gets back from the bathroom. answer his phone and tell people you haven't seen him all day. invite him to meetings that don't exist. send chats to him on slack or whatever like "haha, right? what an idiot" and follow up with "sorry, wrong chat." hide his mouse, hide his chair, switch the plugs on his monitors so they are all messed up. unplug his phone. unpair his wireless headset. hide old bananas in his desk drawers. tell him he smells like booze every morning. be creative.
and at the very least, call him out in front of everyone when he's being sketchy and looking at your computer.
"hide his chair"
bro where the fuck are you gonna hide his chair lmao. TBH i lol'd when you said that. imagine coming back and your fucking chair is gone. that would be wild
use that big investment banking brain of yours to figure it out. we used to send emails to our staffer asking for more deals whenever one of our comrades left their computer unlocked. i'm told that is frowned upon these days. but get creative.
Just some thoughts, as others have said, stay calm and be creative... make sure he can't prove anything was you.
Everytime you leave your desk just Win + L your computer. Given the confidentiality of the industry, it’s a good habit to be in anyways.
I dealt with these types as an intern and analyst. The key is to hasten his fall by highlighting his inadequacies without engaging in overt warfare. Say something off-handed in front of him about how beneficial the extra-curricular time with your colleagues has been - these types are incredibly neurotic (due to the fact that they can't empathize with normal human behavior) and if he thinks that your socializing is giving you a leg up, it is sure to lure him out.
If he is an awkward little suck-ass, cocktail hour with him will be a dumpster fire. There is nothing senior guys hate more than being badgered in their free-time by an annoying hardo intern. Imagine, trying to blow off a little steam after work and having to listen to the dipshit intern brag and undermine his colleagues.
At this point, just sit back and let him fuck the dog all on his own. There are so many ways for this to win: If he drinks too much due to his social anxiety; if he tries throwing an established member of the team under the bus; if he gets creepy around girls (the sexually repressed sociopath can't resist). Just make sure you keep your distance and don't argue or rebut anything he says - you'll look cool and he'll become the office pariah.
I'd actually make a scene if he was on my computer tbh. Like thats a literal invasion of privacy and I would have no problem calling him out in front of people or even threatening him on the down low
Based on your description, it feels like we've interacted with the same person. I've been in a very similar situation. The key - don't take the person seriously or give them attention. That's all they're after. By that, I mean call them out in a way that you can pretend is "just joking around." You can get away with saying almost anything if you're smiling, both to them and others. If something really bothers you, brush it off in the moment and get as mad as you want about it later. I remember eventually causing said person to snap a pen and yell because he got so made for "the stupid smirk on my face" in front of another analyst... you better believe that didn't stay confined to the three people in the situation. Learn the art of poking the bear and get as close as you can to the people above you. When two kids get sent to the principal's office after a fight, the one that the principal likes the most always wins.
Shit on his desk to assert alpha dominance
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