First of all, I'd like to say thank you to Andy Louis and everyone who commented the original version of this post. It was your collective prodding, thoughts, and commentary that lead me to to conclusion that the way my original post was written was quite missing my intent. I was trying to summarize a lesson I grafted from a recent re-watching of Jim Carrey's film, but I missed the point, and I believe came off as pedantic. Here goes a second try:
The Film:
If there is anyone here who hasn't seen the movie, the basic gist of it is that Carrey's character, Carl Allen, is historical a negative Nancy who basically says no to any opportunity that comes his way. He attends a self-help seminar where the speaker, Terrence, played by Terence Stamp, encourages participants to begin saying yes to everything. Carl drinks the Kool Aid quite thirstily and redesigns his entire life around saying yes... to everything. I don't want to spoil too much of the movie's plot, in case you want to go watch it, but this is one hilarious scene:
The Lesson:
I certainly don't advocate saying "yes" to everything -- especially given that I've spent 10 of the past 12 years saying yes to what I believed others expected from my life, as a veritable "people-pleaser." Instead, I think that the real lesson just below the surface in the movie is to be open to opportunities--to allow yourself to say yes, to the things that you actually want to do. Taking that one step farther, if you know what you want out of life and are open to new experiences, say yes to the things that seem even remotely enjoyable, as long as they don't throw a wrench in the spoke of your life plans. By opening yourself up to possibilities that are outside of your norm, you may just find enjoyable people or activities that you would have never discovered otherwise.
However, as any intelligent person knows, you cannot say yes to everything, as saying yes to one thing obviously precludes anything mutually exclusive. So the art is to say no in order to say yes--on the basis of your ambition and life goals. The guy who just wants a typical 9-5 with a decent house in the burbs and a lot of free time to raise a family, should feel empowered to say no to an ad hoc business opportunity that doesn't add value to his life. At the same time, a med school student or someone seeking a career on the street, has to say no to a lot of things that she would ordinarily want to do, in order to build that career.
Conclusion:
Anyway, that all may seem a bit overly obvious, but having recently watched that film again, I wanted to share my thoughts. Thanks again to everyone who helped in this revision by means of your insightful comments!
tl;dr don't be a bitch?
wtf is this shit?
This is some real self-help shit right here.
Guess my secret's out.
I'm on board with this. Most people here don't understand that there is a large segment of the population that doesn't care about bigger, better, faster, stronger, etc. I have several friends that define success as working as little as possible in order to spend more time doing a hobby. If they only have to work 3 or 4 days a week and can spend the rest of their time restoring an old car or fishing, they are extremely happy.
Thanks for the post. A good reminder that all of us have a different definition of "the good life".
Lol. These comments are a little harsh. I agree though. I used to think networking and friends were the same thing, but they're not. With networking (at least in my opinion of it so far) is far more business oriented, there's an underlying "you can use me, and I'll use you" feeling to it all (with no hard feelings attached of course). Friends, social/actual friends, seem to be more about you give me your time with no questions asked otherwise you think you're too good for me (ok anyone reading that is going think something funny about me lol.).
I think it's about making the right friends who are goal oriented (and scarce, TBH) but also fun, kind and enjoy your company of course. They say "good friends are hard to find" and I believe that 100%. A lot of people on this forum seem to have that mindset (some take it a wee bit too far though), and that's why I enjoy being here. People you can speak business with, in a kind friendly manner, or speak about somewhat personal concerns (they're still strangers after-all) but in a more business oriented way.
Would you guys like friends like those sappy weird kids on youtube that like, I don't know act like they have all the time in the world to wallow around each other and drag each other down (that sentence probably didn't make much sense on the surface)? I'd much prefer the opposite, even it means I have to be alone sometimes, have to get hurt sometimes.
Personally, I'd like a friend who appreciates the value of time, is a good role model, but still cares enough to see how you're doing and look out for you or just spend time and have fun (with a good balance).
Sorry all my posts are TL;DR style :\ whatever. Read it or don't!! :P
It's all about balance kid, balance! (ignore the kid part, I just said that to make that sentence look cooler ;P) - which leads into a discussion someone else brought up about time management that you should check out.
Is this the improved version?
I assume so. Judging by the initial responses TBH I'm a little afraid to know what the original looked like :P aha jk OP.
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