Making friends in new city

I am a new grad fresh out of college, have a cool job opportunity in a new city where I don't really know anyone. I want to take it but am scared due to social reasons. The city is a trendy but smaller city that has a good young population (Boston/ Seattle/ Austin) so I'm not worried about whether there is a social scene - I just want to know how to meet new people outside of work. So far it's been very easy to meet friends as I have been in school and college. How do adults in the real world meet people and make friends outside work?

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Comments (16)

  • Investment Manager in HF - Other
Sep 25, 2021 - 9:28pm

So work is a clear one, but you said outside of work. 

I've found that joining groups/going to events of things you are interested is a good route. Do you play sports? There are many running/cycling clubs that are pretty social. There are also tennis/soccer/basketball leagues that allow you to be "drafted" if you don't have your own team. Golf is also a good one. 
Outside of that find classes/events you are interested in (cooking? Cars? Etc). Or maybe your college has local "young alumni" group (or look for similar groups not affiliated with a school), that's another good route.  
I never found bars or similar to work well, usually people are out with their friends and don't want to meet a totally random person. 

Sep 25, 2021 - 9:32pm

Most cities have sports leagues (like Zog Sports in NYC), your alumni network should have a chapter set up in the area. Also, just go do stuff you like, you will run into people with common interests and eventually be friends.

Just be pleasant and social, you'll be fine. 

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  • Associate 1 in RE - Comm
Sep 26, 2021 - 1:44am

Ask friends / family / friends of friends if they know anyone there and try to find a roommate or existing apartment/house where they need someone to backfill. I made friends through my roommates straight out of school.

Although it can be scary, do not throw away a great career opportunity because you're worried about meeting people. I was super nervous about this too, but had I not taken the leap of faith to a new city, I would not be in nearly as great of a spot career-wise.

It's also extremely fun to experience the culture of a new city, learn the good spots for food/drinks (swanky rooftop bars or hole-in-the-wall sandwich shops), see the sights (could be museums, popular hikes, landmarks, their sports team), etc. Seriously take the job opportunity and don't look back. If you hate it, after 18-24 months use the experience to find a job back home. Your friends back home will not forget about you after 2 short years.

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Sep 27, 2021 - 7:51pm

What does that entail? Something like a sports league would be great, or one geared towards a particular interest (cooking, hiking, knitting, fucking birdwatching, whatever). A friend of mine knew someone that worked at one of those exclusive-type social clubs (basically they rent out bars and places for "experiences"), they got us an invite, and it was all people I'd never voluntarily otherwise want to hang out with. There are some that are nice (legit country clubs, racquetball clubs, and other preppy stuff like that), but I am curious if there are any explicit "social clubs" that don't have that try-hard feel.

Quant (ˈkwänt) n: An expert, someone who knows more and more about less and less until they know everything about nothing.

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Sep 27, 2021 - 7:52pm

Agreed, I'm contemplating a move to somewhere where I don't know as many people and have thought about something similar too.

Quant (ˈkwänt) n: An expert, someone who knows more and more about less and less until they know everything about nothing.

Sep 28, 2021 - 1:48am

Go to bars and be social and talk to people.

I met one of my good friends the first weekend in a new city at a bar when he asked if I was alone too and he said he moved to the city last week.

We were both taking a leave of absence from school and we're seniors and into investing.

I then met my gf the next week when I went to a bar with the same friend and we walked up to a table and starting hitting on women.

Also, if you befriend a gay guy at a bar, he may hang out with you b/c he likes you and will be not weirded out if you talk to him at the bar (as opposed to straight guys), but then just use him to introduce you to his female friends which he probably has a shit ton of.

Sep 28, 2021 - 8:15am

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