Not even close: NYC is the #1 city for single men

It is indeed a truism of life that we don't appreciate what we have until we no longer have it. This is true for loved ones who pass away, and it also holds true for cities we used to live in.

Many WSO posters live in NYC and understandably complain about the city's high cost of living, outrageous rent, third-word subways, and weather. Indeed, I was one of them, and there is no doubt that the city has a lot of issues to work through. But now, I fully appreciate just how unique and epic NYC is for single men.

Quick context. I have either lived in or spent considerable time in the following cities: Boston, NYC, Philly, Atlanta, Chicago, Seattle, SF, LA. So I think I have a good sense of the similarities and differences between these major cities. For single straight men, access to a large pool of attractive women and a robust dating life is one of the primary determinants of our happiness, after physical health, family, good friends, and money. Heck, many guys will argue that they pursue wealth to get gorgeous women, but either way, you get my point. In NYC, despite the city's many flaws, my dating calendar was jam packed. It has more single women than men, lot of the men are gay, and the women are eager to go out and date. There were women everywhere. I also relied on online dating apps, which was like shooting fish in a barrel. In an average week, I had 2-3 dates with different women lined up, and oftentimes I couldn't even message all my matches because I simply did not have the time. Keep in mind that I'm above average in height and looks and in good shape but nothing special. I'm certainly not a male model, nor am I wealthy. But damm, NYC really is that easy. And the quality was exceptional. In NYC it is rather common to meet a stunningly beautiful woman who also went to a top school, has a great job, well traveled, and interesting.

How is this different from other cities, one may ask? Aren't all major U.S. cities roughly the same when it comes to dating for single men? ABSOLUTELY FUCKING NOT. The problem is that all the other cities suffer from at least one of the following: 1) bad gender ratio, 2) women marry young, 3) overly conservative dating culture, 4) hard to go out without driving, 5) lack of a robust urban nightlife and social scene, 6) lousy quality of women. NYC is the only U.S. city that does not suffer from any of these problems. Hence, its uniqueness is unparalleled.

Now, I am in a different city, which is so drastically different that it blows my mind. Like Dante journeying through the ninth circle of hell, I am trapped in such a hell for single men, my own personal WWII and Vietnam combined. In my current city, I have only gotten around 10 online matches TOTAL across nearly 1 year. All of them have either ghosted or flaked since they have so many options that they have no incentive to actually meet up unless you're like their absolute top choice. The caliber of women is so low that I have literally seen maybe 15-20 women TOTAL whom I actually find attractive. In NYC I see that many in a single venue on a weekend night.

So NYC bros, appreciate what you have. If you are single, milk the shit out of the city before you eventually get married. Life is too short to live in a crappy city for dating. Even though I am saving more money now and live in a much nicer apartment, I miss the Big Apple every day. It is the city of nearly limitless opportunities: professionally and socially. It is where dreams are made, shattered, and re-made.

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Comments (48)

Oct 11, 2017

Ok.

Oct 11, 2017

Based on your posts, you're late 20s/early 30s? How long ago did you live in NYC? Not denying that Seattle is likely worse than NYC for dating. If it's been several years, then maybe some of it is age related. A lot of women go off the market in their late 20s. I live in a city that's arguably worse than Seattle when it comes to dating and honestly, have shit for game but can still pull regular dates with basically zero effort. However, I'm a few years younger than you, and there is still plenty of unmarried talent in my age range.

Oct 11, 2017
Cov:

Based on your posts, you're late 20s/early 30s? How long ago did you live in NYC? Not denying that Seattle is likely worse than NYC for dating. If it's been several years, then maybe some of it is age related. A lot of women go off the market in their late 20s. I live in a city that's arguably worse than Seattle when it comes to dating and honestly, have shit for game but can still pull regular dates with basically zero effort. However, I'm a few years younger than you, and there is still plenty of unmarried talent in my age range.

NYC is loaded with single women in their 30's. Age is not an issue there.

Oct 12, 2017

Serious question: is your issue with Seattle's dating pool the politics (i.e. the women are too far to the left for your tastes) or the actual quality of women? Or is it both?

Dec 1, 2018
Dances With Newfoundland:
Cov:

Based on your posts, you're late 20s/early 30s? How long ago did you live in NYC? Not denying that Seattle is likely worse than NYC for dating. If it's been several years, then maybe some of it is age related. A lot of women go off the market in their late 20s. I live in a city that's arguably worse than Seattle when it comes to dating and honestly, have shit for game but can still pull regular dates with basically zero effort. However, I'm a few years younger than you, and there is still plenty of unmarried talent in my age range.

NYC is loaded with single women in their 30's. Age is not an issue there.

Single women in their 30s are quality now?

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Oct 11, 2017

Agreed with OP!

I think NYC has this sort of unique culture that makes it possible to have the social life of a college kid because it is full of people in their 20s and 30s that don't settle down and start families. It almost feels like someone created the city to dump everyone who is experiencing FOMO into, quite a beautiful thing to see.

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Oct 11, 2017

New York also has AMAZING VEGAN CUISINE which will lower your TESTOSTERONE levels!

Oct 12, 2017

I prefer ANGEL food CAKE

"It is not our circumstance that controls us, but our thoughts that control our circumstance." -James Allen

Oct 11, 2017

I prefer your MOM!

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Oct 12, 2017

Is this a joke? All I'm reading is a post from Brady/MBAvsMfin, wherein the OP is never and has never been satisfied with his current situation matching his expectations. Look in the mirror. In terms of dating, you really just need one good woman, which makes me wonder:

Why do you need 2-3 different women to go on first dates with every week? It just sounds like you're having zero repeat customers.

Oct 12, 2017
ArcherVice:

Is this a joke? All I'm reading is a post from Brady/MBAvsMfin, wherein the OP is never and has never been satisfied with his current situation matching his expectations. Look in the mirror. In terms of dating, you really just need one good woman, which makes me wonder:

Why do you need 2-3 different women to go on first dates with every week? It just sounds like you're having zero repeat customers.

Plot twist - OP is BRADY!

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Oct 11, 2017

Why not? Some guys like having options and don't want to settle down, why judge them so harshly?

Just because you want to settle down by 25 doesn't mean the next guy has to stop playing the field, let the man live, you're not his pastor!

Oct 12, 2017

You've missed my point entirely. Actually visualize what the OP is saying. Between a full time job with long hours (finance), the OP has how many days per week to realistically go on a date? 2-5? So then he wants 2-3 FIRST dates per week. There's no room for repeat customers, or very few if any and on a limited basis. Meaning, something is driving these women away...given the overall demeanor, misogyny, negativity and the prestige fetish, what does that mean? He's probably driving them away in droves.

Oct 11, 2017

Or maybe he just wants a new chick every week, LOTS of guys are like that.

Best Response
Oct 12, 2017

No no, this is just another in a long string of pathetic posts seeking affirmation. Brady has never and will never be satisfied with a major life decision. The only truth to this post is that he's driving women away in droves and keeps hopping between jobs and cities but none live up to his imagination.

You asked in one of your posts how to enjoy the good years. Build the life you want, ask yourself what you want to look back on as accomplished three months from now and make it happen, invest in meaningful relationships. When you learn to love what you have it makes swinging for the fences easy. I would encourage you to read through all of Brady and MBAvsMFIN posts and you'll see a recurring theme: someone who is constantly chasing someone else's dream or affirmation. Talk about a life wasted, and you're going to what, say it's about getting laid by a different stranger every few weeks? Moving to the right city where your spreadsheet says it maximizes your purchasing power between salary, taxes and COL? By all means...walk the path poorly traveled.

Mar 15, 2019

Peace of advice to all WSO users

You are not to take advice from Brady the current OP, or Postgradwonderer

They are both emotionally fucked up, and won't ever fix themselves. Just look at these two clowns posting histories.

Ty

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Oct 12, 2017

I've pulled everywhere from NY to Lubbock, I don't get the point of threads like this.

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Oct 16, 2017

Gross, why would you want to pull in Lubbock? All the STDs.

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Oct 12, 2017

Whenever friends from other cities visit, they marvel at how much more activity they get on their dating apps. So I guess this makes sense.

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Oct 12, 2017

Washington DC is the best city for single men. The gender ratio is like 6 or 7 to one.

Follow the shit your fellow monkeys say @shitWSOsays

Life is hard, it's even harder when you're stupid - John Wayne

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Mar 15, 2019

Link / proof? Pretty sure Manhattan has the best ratio in the U.S.

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Oct 12, 2017

https://www.states101.com/articles/gender-ratios-i...
It isn't that crazy overall but in the age ranges this forum cares about it is pretty staggeringly lopsided.

Follow the shit your fellow monkeys say @shitWSOsays

Life is hard, it's even harder when you're stupid - John Wayne

Oct 12, 2017

I don't agree.

If you are having issues and going on several dates, I think the issue stems deeper...

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Oct 11, 2017

How is going on a lot of dates an issue? Let the man play the field!

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Oct 12, 2017

My "official" address is in Manhattan, and I've lived there for the past 10 years (6 months/yr minimum), ever since I was 18. While I generally agree with the OP (credit to the numerous fashion students here), a few other cities are equal in terms of the quality of girls 18-22.

In the US:
- Los Angeles, specifically in the Studio City area, and along the Foothills (obviously)
- Phoenix, ASU, enough said.
- in Tennessee, the suburbs of Nashville/Knoxville. southern girls are something.

And then you spend some time living in Europe, which blows every US city out of the water.
- especially Stockholm, Copenhagen, Helsinki.

I've yet to spend a few weeks in Russia, but I heard (very) good things.

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Oct 11, 2017

The problem with a place like Phoenix (and really the state of Arizona in general) is that you have to be a certain kind of guy and have a certain kind of look in order to get hot girls there. If you aren't the All American jock (white guy in general) or a black guy, its slim pickings.

One of my friends is Egyptian and he has done well with attractive women in NYC but when he went to school in Tempe, he struggled due to a lot of the social issues concerning race and immigration that plague Arizona, it makes a lot of the women and people there in general weary of anyone that looks "foreign". Almost every Arizona girl I met was quite xenophobic and weary of men that looked foreign.

What's beautiful about NYC is that any guy who is decent looking, wealthy, and cool has some good options regardless of his ethnicity, not many places have that.

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Oct 11, 2017
Postgradwonderer:

The problem with a place like Phoenix (and really the state of Arizona in general) is that you have to be a certain kind of guy and have a certain kind of look in order to get hot girls there. If you aren't the All American jock (white guy in general) or a black guy, its slim pickings.

One of my friends is Egyptian and he has done well with attractive women in NYC but when he went to school in Tempe, he struggled due to a lot of the social issues concerning race and immigration that plague Arizona, it makes a lot of the women and people there in general weary of anyone that looks "foreign". Almost every Arizona girl I met was quite xenophobic and weary of men that looked foreign.

What's beautiful about NYC is that any guy who is decent looking, wealthy, and cool has some good options regardless of his ethnicity, not many places have that.

Even though it's 2017, race still matters when it comes to dating in the U.S. All the empirical data proves this.

If you're an Asian-American man, and you want to date interracially, there are only a handful of cities in the U.S. that will work out well for you. NYC is one of them; SF and Seattle are not. Of course, if you're a white male, you rarely have to worry about a large swath of women excluding you from their dating pool based purely on your race.

Life is not fair. You just have to work with what you got.

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Mar 15, 2019

Really? I mean if you are basically an all american jock except Asian, wouldn't you be able to get with girls in Arizona? Like the gym bro type with the hitler haircut

Oct 12, 2017

Even though it's cheating, the easiest city to get laid in is Las Vegas.

"Work ethic, work ethic" - Vince Vaughn
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Oct 14, 2017

Yeah NYC is #1 in world.

I like girls from Scandinavia/Argentina/Italy/Spain as well though ...

"If you always put limits on everything you do, physical or anything else, it will spread into your work and into your life. There are no limits. There are only plateaus, and you must not stay there, you must go beyond them." - Bruce Lee

Oct 11, 2017
Isaiah_53_5:

Yeah NYC is #1 in world.

I like girls from Scandinavia/Argentina/Italy/Spain as well though ...

The women in Oslo and Stockholm are incredible. Totally my type of women. But I have not lived in cities abroad so will refrain from commenting too much. In the U.S., zero doubt that NYC is #1.

Oct 14, 2017
Rufus1234:
Isaiah_53_5:

Yeah NYC is #1 in world.

I like girls from Scandinavia/Argentina/Italy/Spain as well though ...

The women in Oslo and Stockholm are incredible. Totally my type of women. But I have not lived in cities abroad so will refrain from commenting too much. In the U.S., zero doubt that NYC is #1.

Yeah Stockholm is cool. I was there a few years ago and getting on that train that runs on the flat ground in the city and couldn't figure if I was on the right train/route.

There a blonde chicks everywhere.

But, this one chick saw I was confused and was thereafter approached by the nicest 9.6 blonde chick with her helping me find my way.

Then we figured it out and she like locked eyes and held it for a second then giggled and walked away.

Classic Stockholm - first impression there was a success.

Everything seems so clean there and everything. I was in a different city after that (I think Goteborg) and was in some train station that had full service marble bathroom showers for around $10 there. I was like hell yeah, stepped into some marble room decked out with towels and all kind of stuff.

I was traveling through Europe at the time (college) and these little oasis/es are sweet.

"If you always put limits on everything you do, physical or anything else, it will spread into your work and into your life. There are no limits. There are only plateaus, and you must not stay there, you must go beyond them." - Bruce Lee

Oct 14, 2017
Rufus1234:
Isaiah_53_5:

Yeah NYC is #1 in world.

I like girls from Scandinavia/Argentina/Italy/Spain as well though ...

The women in Oslo and Stockholm are incredible. Totally my type of women. But I have not lived in cities abroad so will refrain from commenting too much. In the U.S., zero doubt that NYC is #1.

Couldn't agree more Brady. True blonde hair is due to a recessive gene after all

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Oct 15, 2017

The idea of meeting 2-3 women a week and having to pretend to be interested enough in them to get in their pants is exhausting. Then again I'm an old married man now so don't mind me while I yell at the kids on my lawn and play shuffle board.

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Mar 15, 2019

As a young guy in his early 20s, I completely agree. Setting up a date a week is annoying enough w/ all the texting back & forth and tryna say the 'right' things, I genuinely would not care for more than that. At that point, this is just taking up way too much of your life vs. other things (friends, career, hobbies, etc.)

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