It is indeed a truism of life that we don't appreciate what we have until we no longer have it. This is true for loved ones who pass away, and it also holds true for cities we used to live in.
Many WSO posters live in NYC and understandably complain about the city's high cost of living, outrageous rent, third-word subways, and weather. Indeed, I was one of them, and there is no doubt that the city has a lot of issues to work through. But now, I fully appreciate just how unique and epic NYC is for single men.
Quick context. I have either lived in or spent considerable time in the following cities: Boston, NYC, Philly, Atlanta, Chicago, Seattle, SF, LA. So I think I have a good sense of the similarities and differences between these major cities. For single straight men, access to a large pool of attractive women and a robust dating life is one of the primary determinants of our happiness, after physical health, family, good friends, and money. Heck, many guys will argue that they pursue wealth to get gorgeous women, but either way, you get my point. In NYC, despite the city's many flaws, my dating calendar was jam packed. It has more single women than men, lot of the men are gay, and the women are eager to go out and date. There were women everywhere. I also relied on online dating apps, which was like shooting fish in a barrel. In an average week, I had 2-3 dates with different women lined up, and oftentimes I couldn't even message all my matches because I simply did not have the time. Keep in mind that I'm above average in height and looks and in good shape but nothing special. I'm certainly not a male model, nor am I wealthy. But damm, NYC really is that easy. And the quality was exceptional. In NYC it is rather common to meet a stunningly beautiful woman who also went to a top school, has a great job, well traveled, and interesting.
How is this different from other cities, one may ask? Aren't all major U.S. cities roughly the same when it comes to dating for single men? ABSOLUTELY FUCKING NOT. The problem is that all the other cities suffer from at least one of the following: 1) bad gender ratio, 2) women marry young, 3) overly conservative dating culture, 4) hard to go out without driving, 5) lack of a robust urban nightlife and social scene, 6) lousy quality of women. NYC is the only U.S. city that does not suffer from any of these problems. Hence, its uniqueness is unparalleled.
Now, I am in a different city, which is so drastically different that it blows my mind. Like Dante journeying through the ninth circle of hell, I am trapped in such a hell for single men, my own personal WWII and Vietnam combined. In my current city, I have only gotten around 10 online matches TOTAL across nearly 1 year. All of them have either ghosted or flaked since they have so many options that they have no incentive to actually meet up unless you're like their absolute top choice. The caliber of women is so low that I have literally seen maybe 15-20 women TOTAL whom I actually find attractive. In NYC I see that many in a single venue on a weekend night.
So NYC bros, appreciate what you have. If you are single, milk the shit out of the city before you eventually get married. Life is too short to live in a crappy city for dating. Even though I am saving more money now and live in a much nicer apartment, I miss the Big Apple every day. It is the city of nearly limitless opportunities: professionally and socially. It is where dreams are made, shattered, and re-made.
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