*Please Help GPA Trouble*

Hey guys. So, I applied for a BB IBD internship, and on the online application, they asked for my GPA. I took a basket-weaving class, and I got an A in that, which is a 4.0 GPA. So that's what I wrote down. Now, they want to see an official academic report of my grades!!! HOW WAS I SUPPOSED TO KNOW THEY WANTED MY CUMULATIVE GPA?!?!?!?!?! What do I do? My cumulative GPA is a 2.775, if I round that up to a 3, that's more than 50% of the way to a 4.0, so I'm thinking I could just round up all the way. Where did I go wrong? What should I do?

TL;DR - STOP POSTING STUPID THREADS ABOUT LYING ABOUT YOUR GPAS AND ROUNDING IT UP.

 

Damn it OP, I was really banking on being able to round my 1.00 to a 4.00 with some resume manipulation. Thanks for the heads up. Maybe I can LinkedIn message some random bankers I've never met, and invite them for a cup of coffee to discuss my interests. That should get my foot in the door!

Array
 

That's a great idea!!! Don't even find bankers that went to the same school as you, or followed a similar career path. Bankers love taking time out of their day to interact with new people! And in fact - don't even discuss your interests or aspirations. Just ask for a job! They want you to cut to the chase.

 

If this is not a parody thread, then humanity is doomed.

OP, in the off chance you are not joking, or for anyone who reads this who is not joking, may I suggest a job in the Gubbament: https://www.usajobs.gov/ They could use your math skills, and you will be able to perfect those sweet, sweet baskets in the 34.5 hours of down-time you have each week, and make a fortune selling them on Etsy.

Also, Accounting isn't finance. WTF is there an accounting user tag now?

The only difference between Asset Management and Investment Research is assets. I generally see somebody I know on TV on Bloomberg/CNBC etc. once or twice a week. This sounds cool, until I remind myself that I see somebody I know on ESPN five days a week.
 

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