I'm talking about:
-parties
-curfew
-boyfriends/girlfriends
- piercings/ tattoos
-Chores
-Drugs/Alcohol
-Sex
-sleepovers
-swearing/cussing
-Grades
-Religion
-College
-Allowance
-Jobs
-bed time
-grounding
-clothing
- their friends
LETS HEAR IT !
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shit i don't even know lol
At some point I think if you give your kids freedom they typically won't abuse it to much. The only time I remember kids going off the deep end is when parents were absent/losers or if the parents were to controlling.
The only rule I will have for my kids is that they have to be involved in two things. Either that is sports/clubs or jobs. I think there are two key parts to this one it teaches them something that resembles time management and two develops social skills. I can't say specifically say what that is now because I know the world will change in another ten years and who knows what my kids are going to want to do.
I do think it is important to limit screen time earlier in the lives, hopefully getting them to enjoy the outdoors. Other than that I think most of the rules will be established as we cross the bridges.
How do you feel about parties/curfew?
Depends on who they are hanging out with at that time? I would generally encourage them to not drink, but I know that at some point you cannot control 16-18 year olds. I think college is generally a good time to start drinking, but highschool seems early. If they are hanging with what I feel is the wrong crowd then I would give them an early curfew. but if my kid is a nerd who I know is playing smash in the basement at a friends house then, honestly midnight or whenever.
Catholic school.
Aren't you gonna be like 60 by the time your kids are in school?
My dad was 60 when I was 14. 60 is the new 40.
I don't think I'm going to have too many actual "rules" in general, but rather raise them with the right values so that they have the tools to make the correct decisions. Of course things like no drunk driving, don't do heroin etc. are no brainers, and I'm going to seek to raise them such that they know not to do them. Gonna be reading Epictetus and Seneca for bedtime stories.
No where near having kids but some answers:
-have to keep grades high enough to get into a T20 school. Idc if they end up at somewhere like UMich/UVa vs an Ivy but I want them to have a solid education/opportunities
-They'll have to be in both an artistic endeavor (instrument, art, dance, idk) and an athletic endeavor. My parents required both and while I loved sports and didn't really enjoy learning the instrument at the time, I'm grateful for it now as I play the instrument as a hobby a decent amount.
-Want them to learn a second language
-Job in the summer, focus on school and ECs during the school year
-As for alcohol, idk tbh. On one hand I feel like it's a right of passage for the teen to be sneaking it and think they're getting away with it, etc. But on the other hand, it was always cool that some parents would let their kid and friends drink at their place (obv not to blackout level). I guess this also allows you to keep an eye on them and make sure they don't drink & drive and just stay safe in general but it could also open you up to legal issues if their friends drink at your place I guess. Hard one tbh.
I want my sons to rail thots and go to an Ivy, fuck the rest
What if you end up having daughters?
I don't live in Texas so that's unlikely, but assuming I do, I'll prep them to become the hottest Instagram thots out there and send them to an Ivy so they can marry the richest motherfucker they can find
My parents allowed us kids almost everything (except for drugs, illegal stuff, etc) and that was so much freedom that we didn't want it any longer. There was almost no curfew, we could drink if we wanted (no binge drinking), tattoos weren't allowed, but piercings were, friends should be from good homes, etc
None of us kids drink any alcohol, nobody has a tattoo, nobody has any piercings except earrings on my sister. Most of our friends are lawyers, finance people, doctors, etc
What were your friends like growing up? During your teenage years they may end up influencing you more than your parents
We grew up in a traditional middle class neighborhood. 90+% White. The kids were trying to be wild but the parents had a good grip on everything. Everybody knew everybody. Don't think there was a drug problem or anything.
Just cookie cutter middle class America, pretty boring kids actually.
Not that many "rules" in the sense of prohibiting things except a major one:
Absolutely zero exposure to television, radio, video games*.
However, wide open, unfiltered internet usage will be strongly encouraged. Complete immersion into the internet from a young age will allow them to easily tune out the bullshit coming from other mediums and just think for themselves. Unfortunately, by the time I have kids, it is likely that the internet will be heavily censored and sanitized (nothing like what I go in the wild west days of the early 2000s).
*Computer games will likely be difficult to restrict as I intend to have a wide open internet access policy, so may compromise on that one. But I'd rather have my kid waste 8 hours on a Saturday playing Empire Total War than playing Fortnite. I think the best way to manage this would be to find a game we can play together.
I want my kids to reject mainstream normie culture for the filth that it is (can't even imagine how much worse it will be in the 2030s) and see the bigger picture of things. If they can manage that, then everything else will fall into line and they'll be alright.
For things like drinking, staying out late, etc., as long as they get their responsibilities done, they I don't care. The idea is that they'll be smart enough to control themselves.
Bro just show him /pol/ he'll get redpilled real quick
So your kid is just gonna be a TikTok addict?
So your kids are just gonna be sheltered retards whose brains were rotted because you just sat them in front of a telelvision for 8 hours every day?
My kids will be going to a target daycare, that I can tell you!
https://www.wallstreetoasis.com/forums/how-to-raise-children-to-be-futu…
- Party: go blow your brains out and have fun kids
- Curfew: good sleep time until late 18 as it is crucial for body development
- Girlfriend/Boyfriend: my kids definitely going to be heartbreakers
- Pierce/Tats: non, unless it is something meaningful
- Chores: of course you got to do chores. It's not about being a tedious parent but it's more about teaching them basic life skills
- Drugs/Alcohol: no drugs, no large amount of alcohol until 16-18+
- Sex: go for it, wear a condom or get plan B
- Sleepovers: no, unless they really want to
- Swearing: go for it
- Grades: enjoy school, learn what you really think is crucial and ignore the shit ones
- Religion: we welcome multi religion in our house
- College: modern trendy/prestigious school only
- Allowance: non, go work for me or someone and earn it. If you need money for other things then yes. If you want to buy a jetski at age 15. Go work for it
- Jobs: read above
- Grounding: don't do stupid shit and go against my dictatorship in the household. And never ever betray your family.
- Clothing: Uniqlo U, Sunspel, Adidas. No crazy shit until 16 and they really want it due to their fashion sense.
- Their friends: good kids.
Most important life outcomes are heritable, so your choice of spouse is a significantly bigger determinant of your kids' futures than your parenting style is.
This is the big ticket item here.
I feel like the biggest insecurity/issues that a lot of people who had terrible childhoods (myself included) was that our parents did not back us when we suceeded/in trouble etc. That is the first and most important thing that I want any of my kids to know and understand that I will always back them in their successes/support them in their failures and that I will always be in their corner. For instance, if they are getting bullied in school, I am not gonna tell them to back off and take it or step up and complain to their teacher. I want them to stand on their two feet but I want them to know to know I am backing them. I will tell them that if anything happens, fight back and I will come into school and handle the discussions but fight back knowing I am behind you and will be there to sort out the burecratic issues.
Do you still talk to your parents or they’re still unsupportive/ toxic like mine. I’ve had a rough childhood too that’s why I’m asking
When I was younger, me and my siblings resented the hell out of them for being unsupportive/toxic. However, getting older we all basically realized that it really was just how they grew up and how toxic my grandparents were. This is something they realized when I was 20 (currently 23, youngest of 4 the others being 25 twins and a 29 yo). They have made efforts to change their behavior. Obviously for some of my siblings (one of the twins and the oldest who has had to deal with this for the longest time), this is a case of too little too late, and they keep their relationship to a minimum (send cards, talk on birthdays, will meet up if they are back home (grew up in Dallas, we all live in NYC or Boston)), but that is about it they keep it civil. Me and the other twin have been working through it and we try to have a better relationship than we did as kids and they are making an effort. But there still is a boundary/barrier between us that keeps us from doing certain things. For instance, oldest got married and invited parents but only as guests no real role as parents in ceremony (my older twin walked her down the aisle). When we introduce significant others for the first time, its too each other (parents only met my oldest husband at the wedding) The fact is that the way your parents raise you has such a big impact on how you raise your kids so it is important you keep the good and stave off the bad.
I will pay lots of money for good grades.
I think that loving reading and appreciating literature is paramount to developing a strong spiritual/moral compass, becoming more human in an immediate world that, for many high-achieving teens, is all about doing and achieving instead of listening and understanding, while also opening one's eyes to different perspectives and experiences; so I'll probably have a bunch of bookshelves around the house filled with classics and great young adult novels that I think are essential for positing these important questions early on.
As for parties and curfews, I want to err on the side of letting them be free. My parents, despite being incredibly distant when growing up (my dad literally lived in another country for work), were overly controlling, or at least constantly desired the illusion of control, and I had to constantly grow up in that specter in which I felt little freedom to make my own choices. My goal is to take the opposite stance: to encourage my children to do whatever they want, to listen to their troubles while providing advice.
For clothing, I'm fine with anything. Let them decide how they want to express themselves and what they're comfortable in. My only must is that they wear sunscreen every day--it's so simple yet so important, and it amazes me how many parents are oblivious to the importance of protecting one's skin. On the topic of health, I also want to pay very close attention to their diets: making sure they get in the habit of drinking water regularly, eating fruits and vegetables, minimizing junk food and sweets.
Bed time should be lightly regulated; staying late is more often than not indicative of a host of other potential problems--dissatisfaction with how the day was spent, anxiety, even depression--that simply enforcing a more militant curfew will not solve, but rather exacerbate.
As for college, I know I speak from a place of privilege, but my family has a long history/legacy at a particular Ivy college, so I think we're set on that.
Grades don't concern me. Going back to my earlier point of inculcating a love for reading, I hope I can similarly help them see the beauty in learning, especially in learning subjects for which they feel passion; the grades are merely the reward.
One rule: 10’s with Harvard degrees only. Got to keep the blood lines elite.
The last few years I've become more religious and in the last few months (after moving to an historical town) I've been studying (and experiencing?) ghosts/paranormal activity. I live next to a gorgeous cemetery and take frequent walks through it. After about 80 years or so, the vast majority of corpses have dissolved down to their teeth only--not even the bones remain. In less than a century after our deaths, all that remains of us is our teeth. I see the old gravestones with places to put flowers; they are almost always empty. In a generation or two, there will be no one alive who will visit your gravesite; no one will remember you or care about the life you lived. Your great-grandchildren will likely not even know your name.
When it finally sunk in to me that our Earthly lives are just a quick stop on the journey to the other side, the idea of "blood lines" and "prestige" just dissolved away for me. If I ever have kids I just want them to live productive, happy lives. I couldn't care less if they get straight "As," have tattoos or piercings, work at top-flight companies, what their titles are, or if they make a lot of money. All of that stuff is wholly irrelevant in the context of eternity.
Not if you’re truly accomplished and left something behind, be it a successful company, an oeuvre of works, an invention, scholarly achievements, a mansion/estate. And if life is as meaningless as you make it out to be (I don’t disagree with you), then it doesn’t hurt to strive towards that
Unless you're Napoleon, George Washington or similar, you will not be remembered. Even these historic men are barely remembered by most normal people. If you leave behind a successful business to your grandkids they will barely remember you still. No one is sitting around thinking about their ancestors. They will press on. Maybe they'll hang your picture up in a rarely used conference room. (I worked for 4 years for a rich legacy family like that.)
My position is not that life is meaningless; it's that all these things we put meaning in (our kids going to elite schools and making a lot of money and marrying the right people) is meaningless in the context of eternity.
Must excel in a sport or instrument.
Above average grades, no need for perfection so long that well read. Culture isn't about academic titles.
Minimum trilingual.
Limited social media, videogames, alcohol.
Party depending on performance
Bf/gf will be selected.
No libs allowed, ever, among friends circle
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