Strangest thing you've seen while in the restroom

alpha_q's picture
Rank: King Kong | 1,466

I suppose the title is bespoken for :). Last week I had just finished and was going to wash my hands. At that moment the stall adjacent to the faucets opened and a woman was coming towards the sink. We each made contact with a puzzle expression. Internally, I freaked thinking I accidentally went to the women's restroom when another guy came through.

Horrified, she quietly exited, leaving both myself and the guy with the same confused expression. Certainly nothing of egregious proportion, though interesting nonetheless. Would love to see if anyone else has bizarre stories to tell of.

Comments (69)

Nov 18, 2017

Restrooms are a sub-culture on their own. Having worked for consultancies most of my life, I have seen a variety of eccentric bathroom innovations.

What you might have experienced could be a unisex toilet.

other funny things I came across:
- During soccer world championships many clients had the goal mats installed in their pissoirs
- One company in Asia had a LCD screen light up when the user was able to "focus" on a specific area

The best restrooms I have seen were at a private banking client and we were on a client floor. Marble & stone design, high CRI LED down lights, with human restroom attendants! Unbelievably posh.

Nov 18, 2017

Did you just assume their gender??

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Nov 18, 2017

I'm triggered AF!

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Nov 18, 2017

Guilty as charged ;P. Though there's no way a guy could pull off pantyhose like that :)

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Nov 21, 2017

Friday afternoon I walk into the men's room as an intern was walking out, he goes "Hey SL55! Are you grabbing drinks with everyone after work?" So, I say yeah, I am. And I noticed he's now coming back into the men's room with me. I'm like.. uhh this was a bad move by him. I'm at the urinel and he keeps talking to me but I want to make him pay for his mistake--make sure he doesn't do anything this illogical again. So I finish pissing but I just stand there for well over 60 seconds in silence. He eventually goes, okay dude see you later.

It was such a power move I actually liked it.

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Nov 21, 2017

Ha Ha now that's hilarious...though I'm a tad bit disappointed that you didn't establish true dominance. You should have outstretched your arms in front of you and placed them against the immediate wall, made loud grunts, and locked eyes. That would have showed him who was boss ;P

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Nov 22, 2017

I disagree, he should have turned around and faced towards him before finishing

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Nov 21, 2017

What concert costs 45 cents? 50 Cent feat. Nickelback.

Nov 22, 2017

When me, a dude, am taking a shit on a rather late evening at work just burning the midnight oil. There I am letting my burrito in its new form exit my body, when the Mexican female janitor starts to enter the bathroom to clean it before she leaves. What do I do? I start coughing profusely, flush the toiler three times (get some water up my pooper), start shaking the paper towel dispenser, all in an attempt to let the chick now there is a dude taking a shit in the bathroom and she should probably head back to the hallway and wait to clean the sinks/urinals later. After my obnoxious and obvious creations of noise, I assume the coast is clear and that she got the message. I proceed to rip a couple hiroshimas out of my ass hole into the toilet, then clean myself up. I exit the stall and what do you know! There is the old Mexican lady standing in front of me, as she had finished cleaning the rest of the bathroom and waiting for me to be finished to wipe up the remants of feces that the flush didn't get. Had to respect the no fucks that were given by that woman as she just wanted to get back home.

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Nov 22, 2017

A guy in the stall next to me was sitting down to shit but after he finished he stood up and turned around, with his pants around his ankles, and started pissing. I still have no idea why someone would do that.

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Nov 22, 2017

If your dong is big enough, you have to hold it up while shitting or throw it across your thigh to keep it out of the water. Dude probably staggers his shit/piss like that because he's got a Pringles can between his legs.

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Nov 22, 2017

Good to know, the best explanation I could come up with was that maybe he thought his log would clog the toilet so he was pissing on it in an attempt to break it up.

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Nov 22, 2017

We share a floor with a wealth management firm, and their guys apparently live on an exclusive diet of black coffee and street-cart Indian food. Every day is a new adventure in sights, sounds, and smells.

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Nov 22, 2017

ah boy.....you would think some folks would have a baseline level of decency. The remedy to this should be a metric ton of water and perhaps some fruit / antacid in some form. In the rare times I've had street cart food (that stuff is really not good for you..it's like 2000 calories for the contents in the styrofoam container), it has to be accompanied by 2 gallons of water :)

Nov 22, 2017

Friend of mine (consultant) was on a project in the UAE - the clients' office did not have female toilets at all. Not on a different floor, not unisex toilets, nothing. They ended up going to Starbucks to take a dump for the next four months.

Nov 22, 2017

That's impossible. Women don't go number two.

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Best Response
Nov 22, 2017

Worst one was when some dude in a stall rips a massive fart (the kind that resonates off the walls). Ops dude a larger, bodybuilder black guy is washing is hands and belts out "Wooo! Dat Ass be talkin shit!"

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Nov 22, 2017
alpha_q:

I suppose the title is bespoken for :). Last week I had just finished and was going to wash my hands. At that moment the stall adjacent to the faucets opened and a woman was coming towards the sink. We each made contact with a puzzle expression. Internally, I freaked thinking I accidentally went to the women's restroom when another guy came through.

Horrified, she quietly exited, leaving both myself and the guy with the same confused expression. Certainly nothing of egregious proportion, though interesting nonetheless. Would love to see if anyone else has bizarre stories to tell of.

She probably tries to use the men's room on the sly when she needs to shit, and you caught her. A woman I used to work with did this all the time. She used to sneak in and out of the men's room to drop deuces. Someone would see her do it like once a month. No one ever said anything to her, and I think she thought no one knew that she crop dusted the men's room on the reg. Pretty gnarly.

Nov 22, 2017

There was this one instance where this guy finished washing his hands in the restroom and was looking for a paper towel to dry them. Unfortunately, the paper towel dispenser was empty so he proceeded to dry his dripping wet hands by rubbing them on his head, face and neck in sort of a lathering motion (no comment). It is worth noting that there was an air dryer literally right next to him AND he could've also just used his shirt or the back of his pants, but he decided to do what he decided to do.

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Nov 22, 2017

I grew up in a small town where nothing much of interest ever happened. Can't believe I'm about to share this, but one day when I was in middle school, I was in the restroom avoiding detention when I heard this animalistic noise. I put my head low to the ground to peer upside down under the stalls, and there was this - thing - kind of like a dog, or a slug, but a much stranger thing, in a way I just couldn't place. It suddenly turned to look at me and let out an unearthly scream. I dropped my 3 Musketeers bar and bolted for the doors, never looking back.

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Nov 28, 2017

was it D'Artagnan? Dustin, is that you?

Nov 22, 2017

Had a summer stint in corpdev, saw a banker on our deal team furiously eating through an orange - peel and all - whilst taking a piss in between meetings. Every time he'd hit a seed, he'd spit it into the urinal, eventually leaving a small heap on the urinal cake.

Thus is my lasting impression of JPM.

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Nov 22, 2017

Went for a piss late one evening in a Big 4 office in London, and there was a fairly old looking guy standing at the sink. He had his coat and scarf on and was clearly ready to leave for the evening.

I took no notice of him to begin with, until I realised that he had taken off his left shoe and sock. The reason being that he was washing his foot in the sink. When he saw me (with what I can only imagine was a fairly confused look on my face) he just carried on as if I wasn't there!

Never saw the guy again in my life, and also made a point of never using that sink again.....

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Nov 22, 2017

Ironically, I'm reading this on the shitter. Anyway, I have a story that pertains to myself. I normally don't like shitting in public restrooms but I had a bad case of diarrhea in an airport while on a trip and had to go. A guy goes into the stall about 3 down from me and is dead silent for like 3-4 minutes. I had to let one rip again and just after I did he let loose and started to let a few rip as well.

Nov 22, 2017

I strongly hesitated to even click on this thread.......

I shoulda gone with my first instinct :(

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Nov 22, 2017

Was sitting on the toilet around dinner time. Hear somebody walking in, taking a piss and he starts to leave without washing his hands. Then a new persons enters and from their voices I can recognize who they are. I leave the stall and see which person is still here, so I know who didn't wash their hands. When I walk over to my desk I see the guy sitting in the kitchen and eating his Indian Naan... with his hands... I hope my Indian food was prepared by somebody with higher hygiene standards (though probably not).

Also, I have to mention this article if we are arguing worst/weirdest shits https://medium.com/@JohnLeFevre/the-roadshow-aka-t...

Nov 22, 2017

Experienced all the classics:

  • Overhearing guy on a conference call whilst in a stall
  • Director comes and stands in the urinal next to me and starts chatting despite there being many others free
  • Shirtless guys cleaning their teeth and shaving
  • People talking to each other whilst both in stalls (who the fuck does this?!?!)
  • Walk into the bathroom and theres literally a small shit in the middle of the black marble floor

As a side note, for all the pretence about suits, looking smart, client service, being proper etc. in banking, I have NEVER seen worse toilets than in investment banks (in terms of what people do/leave in there).

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Nov 23, 2017

During an internship I was washing my hands when a director walks in, sees all stalls are taken and waits around. Then an analyst who had just started before me (so was new) walks out and just straight up looks at the director like HA HA. The director really needs to go and asks the analyst whether it is "safe in there". The analyst says yeah for sure, but we could already smell it was not safe at all. The director walks in and straight up just starts screaming the guys name. This analyst instead of just reacting awkwardly or saying sorry straight up just starts laughing his ass off pissing off the director even more. Then he is sitting the table next to me and the director walks in 10 minutes later, tells the dude that the stall was NOT fucking Ok, it smelt like a biological weapon and he should never pull that shit again. The kid still has not said a word about the event and just straight up begins to laugh at the director again. The director looks at me like wtf and asks the kid what is wrong with him, still just laughter and he leaves. The kid was let go a year after that do to fit issues.

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Nov 24, 2017

HA HA HA HA. That's an absolute riot. The young man sounds...a bit curious to me, but frankly I give him props for having the guts in that regard.

When I first posted this thread I thought there's be a few posts here or there. Everyone in each case has overwhelmingly exceeded such. Some real gold stories across the thread :)

Funniest
Nov 27, 2017

There's one I forgot about a the gym.

Not "strange".....but I remember one time when a dude ran into a stall, dropped onto the seat hard, and then lets out a shit so explosive that you can literally, loudly hear the sound of shit slamming against the back toilet. It sounded like the dude let out a chocolate basketball in the space of a half second.

The entire locker room goes completely silent for a few seconds and then bursts out laughing.

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Nov 27, 2017

Oh goodness :D. That's hilarious. I think out of courtesy I would probably end up with an ugly blister trying to hold off the ensuing guffawing!

Nov 29, 2017

Some guy obviously felt bad for laughing afterwards and tried to comfort the guy by commenting on how that must have been some good relief.

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Nov 28, 2017

I never understood why people have their phones out at the URINAL. I mean, if you're taking a #2 and it's slightly constipated, that's understandable. But the former is just unacceptable.

Nov 29, 2017

Wow

Nov 29, 2017

I'd think you're a pussy because any real man would stand in the bathroom and hand out his resume to everyone who walks in.

Just take a late lunch break so you can be in the bathroom during peak dump hours, around 1:00-2:00. Then stay late, from 6pm-midnight, so you can have some more intimate encounters with the junior bankers. And maybe turn off the lights and set up some candles around the toilets.

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Nov 29, 2017
Ron Paul:

Then stay late, from 6pm-midnight, so you can have some more intimate encounters with the junior bankers. And maybe turn off the lights and set up some candles around the toilets.

Best advice so far.

Nov 29, 2017

I think it would helpful if you posted the cover letter here. Content and style will matter 10x in this case

Nov 29, 2017

LOL

OP, I'm tempted to say no, but I just can't find a reason why.

Nov 29, 2017

What you can do is remove the toilet paper from all the stalls and hand them out to the occupants only after they read your cover letter. Works like a charm and they can't really say no.

Or they can just wipe with your cover letter. Unless you printed it on sandpaper.

Nov 29, 2017
WhoYouKnow:

"Is it crazy?

WSO's COO (Chief Operating Orangutan) | My Linkedin

Nov 29, 2017

please do. Then we can see your cover letter circulate when people take a pic of it and email it to everyone

Nov 29, 2017

What if your boss finds out and you get fired? Then what?

I'd fire your ass for doing that if I heard. Also, who the fuck reads a cover letter?

You have no relevant experience & chances are a freshman at Harvard is more qualified than you.

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Nov 29, 2017

I'd say go for it. That's a bold move my dude

Nov 29, 2017

This is a terrible idea haha

Nov 29, 2017

You gotta risk it, to get the biscuit.

To the starving man, beans are caviar

Nov 29, 2017

Creative. Might as well give it a shot.

Nov 29, 2017

Probably the only potential rival to the "cold Skype" I've seen so far.

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Nov 29, 2017

I would do it...

I've been looking forward to another great Bess Levin story.

Nov 29, 2017

Don't do this. There is no upside and substantial downside. This is the type of thing that would go viral through pictures sent around via text and would likely end up on dealbreaker.

Nov 29, 2017

That's why MDs have private bathrooms...

Nov 29, 2017
karypto:

That's why MDs have private bathrooms...

Not sure where you work but this isn't the case elsewhere... at least not with frequency. Maybe at smaller partnership banks...

Nov 29, 2017
karypto:

That's why MDs have private bathrooms...

Huh?? I want to be an MD there....

And yeah you should definitely do this, shows the balls you need for IBD. Plus, try to print out a headshot with the slogan, "Hire Me!" into rolls of toilet paper. So they can wipe their ass with your face.

edit: make sure you do the women's bathrooms as well or you might come across sexist. I would change the slogan to "I'm watching" so they can't get you out of their head.

Nov 29, 2017

so you want them to read your cover letter while they're taking a dump...

Nov 29, 2017

Are you too scared to speak with them?
If you are scared to network, how are you going to bring business to the company in 5-10 years?

Nov 29, 2017

Appreciate the responses. I think it would get a laugh from the IB guys, but that's about it.
On the topic of outlandish cover letters, is it frowned upon that heavily to have a creative delivery or to be very unique with it? Lets say it ends up on dealbreaker, isn't any publicity good publicity?

Nov 29, 2017
WhoYouKnow:

Appreciate the responses. I think it would get a laugh from the IB guys, but that's about it.
On the topic of outlandish cover letters, is it frowned upon that heavily to have a creative delivery or to be very unique with it? Lets say it ends up on dealbreaker, isn't any publicity good publicity?

No look at Vayner, but publicity from this wouldn't hurt you like it does for other people. I still think its desperate. If you already work at the bank you should really just email someone at your bank and ask to meet and tell them you work in ops. I promise someone will be more than willing to meet with you. The risk/reward is not good on this here.

Nov 29, 2017
WhoYouKnow:

Appreciate the responses. I think it would get a laugh from the IB guys, but that's about it.
On the topic of outlandish cover letters, is it frowned upon that heavily to have a creative delivery or to be very unique with it? Lets say it ends up on dealbreaker, isn't any publicity good publicity?

To desperate and simply too moronic kinda make me question your age or level of maturity, chances is you just will make a good story for dealbreaker for a brake yet chances to take you seriously are none. Don't do it if you want real results just network like everyone else does.

Nov 29, 2017

High risk, high reward dude lol....definitely won't be taken seriously, but will certainly get people's attention. I bet that if your resume is funny as hell and straight forward, you will have at least 20% try and reach out just to meet you and half of them would probably be willing to help out.

Nov 29, 2017

Put your resume on there as well and don't forget to include a recent head shot

Nov 29, 2017
Fwd Unto Dawn:

wow that's a dick move.

Something was done here.

Nov 29, 2017

please please please do this; would make a great Dealbreaker article.

Nov 29, 2017
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Nov 29, 2017
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