You break into a high rolling career from a low class background. How do you deal with those family members left behind? This is my friend's story on the feeling for the left behind family members and their interactions with her. This question was from another WSO post on visiting parents still in poverty.
"Don't find it particularly embarrassing because that level of contempt is not worth the effort. Harsh, yes, but they're just as greedy as any other humans, and had the option to choose how they live. Everyone made the decision to remain where they are, stasis. What's a little disappointing is seeing those that surround them reinforce this behavior and way of living. So it doesn't particularly strike them that something is off with their low living.
A close friend in a similar situation once commented she often feels like she was born into the wrong family, because all her relatives and grandparents are very, very well endowed, but her father happened to be the weirdo black-sheep who married a working class girl that brought all kinds of lowly influences that constrained and sucked all ambitions of maintaining dignity of his past; partly through her pathological following of religion, and a diabolic hatred and desire of wealth combined with a self defeating pursuit of it. This led to their half executed risk taking to achieve it and the half executed measures to leave the inevitable poverty trap they remain in due to their lack of follow through.
My friend is part of the 0.01 percent or somewhere wayy up there, achieved all through her own wills and ingenious maneuvering. She read Classics at Yale and now represents an institution where the name is just as big and important as the salary she commands. She's more comfortable around her private-jet-setting milue just as she was comfortable in her grandmother's tender arms who came from and held immense wealth, than she is around her mother, a lifelong stranger to her, who slaves away for the county government for just the right amount to keep her working but never enough for her to retire, she's well over 50. My friend's grandmother indicated to her she'd take over the family's wealth (passing over her son and daughter in law) which partially includes several acres in an emerging economy now experiencing an aggressive boom in high-end real estate development. Seems like nature chooses who should receive her fortunes.
My friend is oddly obligated, as her parents are the ones who brought her into the world and kept her alive just long enough for her to flee from the mess she found when she entered it, to visit them once in a while. A sort of human courtesy at a minimum for it would be rude not to. Dinners are an interesting fiasco. Her well trained face that never reveals what she truly feels like, if she feels anything at all, saves her from arousing embarrassment from her parents. The sad thing however, she lamented to me, is that they wouldn't even notice that there's something wrong. That their animals: they sleep, eat, work and repeat with no pretense of human dignity. No culture, besides a culture of work-work-work, bills-bills-bills, god-god-god. They're barely functioning machines who's biggest fear is not being able to function in their mind numbing work. Art is dead for them, and so is literature. The oft predictable evening news serves as entertainment; fatal car accident, robbery at the convenience store, a shooting--they never cease to elicit subdued "sympathies for the families" before getting on their knees and praying to god "for another day" to which they promise they "shall never fail to thank" for.
My friend feels nothing for them other than a responsibility to "keep in touch" and to avoid provoking jealousy from them for her achievements--she earns more in a month than both her parents do in a year."