The Pence rule

I believe that everyone (men and women) should follow the Pence rule in all professional environments including college. Dating apps have made it very easy to meet men or women and disintermediated fraternities/college as the avenue to meet young men or women. So IMO to mitigate metoo risk, one should not fraternize with the opposite sex in school or at work because the standard of evidence is much lower than outside of these organizations.

For those who don't know, the Pence rule means not hanging out one on one with the opposite sex (in this case, except for men/women you meet through dating apps).

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Sep 11, 2020 - 11:54am

Hah. If you're only willing to meet the opposite sex through dating apps, how are you gonna learn how to attract people in real life?

Dating apps are useful but I've always been critical of people relying on them. We all become bunch of "prudes" who might be getting laid but have no idea how to attract people in real life.

Whether you like it or not, "fraternizing with the opposite sex" is an important part of growing up. 

I wouldn't want a world filled with people who doesn't know how to talk to the opposite sex offline.

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  • Associate 2 in RE - Comm
Sep 11, 2020 - 12:47pm

Sorry, but just no. If you can't read the room and the person/people you're talking to, maybe go ahead and follow the "Pence Rule".

For professional and educational environments, keep it clean. You should be able to navigate a conversation and keep things from going off the rails regardless of who may be steering things one way or another (which is how you avoid this garbage, you know, acting like an adult). For the most part, no one is out to get you, assuming you're not a celebrity or political figure that someone is going to try and take advantage of (Since you're posting on this site, my guess is you don't fall into either of those groups). 

I'm with @Milton Friedchickenman" - Dating apps are useful, to a degree. But if you're going to limit your social/dating life to only women/men you meet on dating apps, you're going to live a very shallow life my friend. One of the best parts of your 20's and 30's is having a life (and money to do things with). Going out to happy hours, dinners with friends, bonfires on the beach, etc., whenever you want. You going to do this with only your bros into your late 20's? Sounds like a great time

Oh by the way, one great way to avoid having some random bimbo making up a lie to extort you with is to have real friendships with other women. You can't do that by only spending time with women you want to bang

  • Associate 2 in RE - Comm
Sep 11, 2020 - 3:31pm

I understand, I just disagree. The vast majority of us, including those on this website, are not political or ultra powerful types. Even if you are, acting like a mature adult in those situations neutralizes this pretty instantly. I understand this take is an attempt to "mitigate risk", but this is our every day lives we're talking about, not your investment portfolio lol. If you want to, by all means take this approach, I just feel it will hinder your ability to get everything out of the various environments you'll find yourself in

Additionally, limiting your romantic encounters to those you can meet through dating apps is a horrible idea in my opinion. It's all flings, so the people who use them as their primary means of meeting intimate partners always feel they have other options. It's sort of like starting with one foot out the door. Don't get me wrong, people find long term relationships through the apps but... I know plenty of people who have gotten rid of them entirely once they start looking for a long term partner

Sep 11, 2020 - 1:09pm

I think it is a little ironic how some very brash conservative men are scared of women.  If you do not act like a jackass, I think it is safe to hang/communicate with women.  I would avoid groping them at school or at the office.  You should also avoid commenting on their physical appearance.   

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Sep 11, 2020 - 9:42pm

financeabc

I think it is a little ironic how some very brash conservative men are scared of women.  If you do not act like a jackass, I think it is safe to hang/communicate with women.  I would avoid groping them at school or at the office.  You should also avoid commenting on their physical appearance.   

Yes. Only all conservative men are afraid of falsely being accused of sexual misconduct. 

Yay! Thanks for turning a fundamental male trait found in some men regardless their political leanings into a totally political thing.

Sep 12, 2020 - 9:01am

I am pretty sure Mike Pence is the VP. If you do not believe me, look it up.  Dude, next time, just use the down arrow.

Sep 11, 2020 - 2:12pm

The pence rule i think is that you just don't meet women one on one behind closed doors that you aren't banging.. He's referring to married men like himself. He's not saying you can't go to bonfires or socialize in a big group. I think we all lead much different lives than he does. Looking at the Kavvanaugh accusations, tucker carlson and a billion other ones over the past few years he's just trying to limit his exposure. Just avoiding putting himself in a he said/ she said type situation. 

Sep 11, 2020 - 2:18pm

You can't be in a fucking office with a woman?  What if a male MD has to interview a female?  Are you going to keep the door open or do you need a female assistant in office at all times?  It still comes down to, you need to act professionally and everything is going to be fine.  It is really not that difficult. 

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Sep 11, 2020 - 2:29pm

The last thing we should be doing is following the guidance of Mr. Religiosity, Pence.  He is such a fucking hypocrite.  He is silent on all of the unethical stuff in the white house but yet we should follow his rule about not being alone with women.  May be it is a self imposed rule because he lacks self control.

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Sep 11, 2020 - 2:34pm

Sounds like you are letting your politics cloud your judgment. We are discussing the "Pence Rule". If I was an MD, I wouldn't be opposed to having a 3rd person in the room during an interview as a note-taker. What if the woman doesn't get selected for the job and threatens to call the NY times and have them write a story about how I groped her in my office? Even if it's completely baseless the reputational damage is non-recoverable. 

Shit like that is where the rule comes from. You can say its an overreach, but if you've followed the news at all in the past 5 years you can see its "run the story now, verify later" type world out there. 

Sep 11, 2020 - 2:40pm

Are the conservative men smart or are the liberal men naive or both?  Do realize that any woman could fabricate any story at any time?   You do not even need to be in the same room.  What if she says, you took her into the supply room and it never happened?

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Sep 11, 2020 - 2:55pm

Pretty easy to prove if you were/weren't somewhere, especially in an office.  Email trails at said time, saved file timestamps at said time, meetings, cameras, alibis.   

I don't know why you're so triggered over men protecting themselves, I guess to answer your question yes liberal men are naive. 

Array

  • Prospect in IB-M&A
Sep 11, 2020 - 4:01pm

What bubble are you living in? Keyboard warrior in your parents' basement? I've broken this rule several times at work on the job. When you are working on something and need help from someone who has expertise and happens to be a female or working as a group on assignment, it sometimes leads to 1 on 1 meetings with those of the opposite gender. Just act professional and you'll be fine, and if you don't know how to you'll learn quick. 

Sep 11, 2020 - 9:29pm

 I've broken this rule several times at work on the job. 

Ok Prospect. If you're talking about the time when an old lady asked you questions when you were working as a grocery store clerk in high school, then I guess it counts?

I kid I kid. Just breaking your balls.

Sep 11, 2020 - 5:49pm

Or you could just be a normal human being because not everyone is out to get you. I know that's a big ask but you should at least try it.

Dayman?
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Sep 11, 2020 - 7:21pm

I agree - to some extent. I think when I am married someday it will be a good rule to follow out of principle. That is not to say I will never meet with a woman one-on-one, but I also think it is important to question why I value certain "friendships" in the first place. I do not think I will be a cheater and quite abhor the practice, but why even put myself at risk / in a situation like that? Is it really necessary? I am quite fine having the times when I see female friends / acquaintances relegated to social gatherings and the like. 

Sep 11, 2020 - 8:28pm

I do not agree with what you are saying but can respect your opinion.  With that said, the OP wants to apply this concept to the workplace and college probably because he thinks he might get metood

As as aside, I mentioned this topic to my wife and she said,  hugh?   Who are these people?  I  guess that where I live and who I associate with, males are not concerned about being alone with a female.

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  • Prospect in IB-M&A
Sep 11, 2020 - 8:38pm

Yeah I think if a wife believes in the Pence rule, it seems like a recipe for disaster. I would stay way from any girl trying to be do controlling and who doesn't trust me enough.

  • Prospect in IB-M&A
Sep 12, 2020 - 9:13am

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