I've been seeing this girl for a while and we started talking about opening up. I told her that I want someone serious I can talk with about my ups and downs. She started railing about how I should just go to therapy and the fact that she shouldn't be taking on too much "emotional labor". I get the point but her instant response to therapy showed me how apathetic she is to men's emotions and doesn't want to deal with them. I know it's simp hours.
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you just as open to chatting with her about her feelings then I would assume? I think you are right bro, you need someone to be there for you.
Congrats
I hate this new trend of people never being there for their friends in the name of "emotional labor" or "I need to protect my own mental health". It's very popular on Twitter, a few days ago I saw a very similar Tweet that got an appalling amount of likes that said you have no obligation to listen to and console your friends and loved ones. Obviously there have to be some boundaries, but there is definitely a prevailing trend of people who think it's ok to just never be there for others because that's "not their job" but still expect them to call them their friend. I would never want to associate with someone who views normal human interaction and empathy in a such a cold, transactional, and as you said, apathetic, way (especially if they are closer to you, like in your situation)
Yeah this girl sounds like a selfish loser.
Fortunately, I don't think this is something that's very common in the real world
Boy go find u a nice girl. She ain't it
The subject of this thread is “therapy doesn’t solve it all” yet the content is basically “girlfriend not cool with me opening up to her.”
The content mentions nothing about experiences in therapy and therapy not solving issues.
Thank you....next...
Therapy, in my opinion, is a good space because you have someone who will listen and help you unravel issues. It’s definitely different from talking to friends because professionals cannot be biased and have to keep things confidential. I always recommend it.
However, if someone you’re seeing isn’t willing to listen to you, that’s a red flag. While it can be somewhat draining to listen to people’s problems (especially if it’s frequent and stressful), that’s just what you do in a relationship, be it family or friends or romantic. It’s only an issue if it’s too frequent, they don’t listen to you in return, and if they dismiss your concerns. People can always draw boundaries when they have to. OP, I don’t know what the issue(s) you brought up is/are (or if you even spilled any beans yet). Perhaps they do require professional input beyond her capabilities. Regardless of whether that is true or not, someone you want to see should be someone who is willing to listen to the degree that they can. Mental health discussions can be draining for both the speaker and the listener, but it’s still important.
TL;DR: I sort of get her point — being a woman it’s not uncommon to see people use us as free therapy. However, it doesn’t seem like you did that yet so that seems a little defensive on her end. Might want to discuss that a bit more (why she’s not willing to let you open up/let herself open up, at what point do you go to therapy, etc.) but the bottom line is the same: if she isn’t open to listening then that’s a problem. Just my two cents as an outsider
Great input. I really appreciate it!
Beat me to it, very valid points.
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