UBS Analyst Quits

Subject: Sorry everyone

I'm leaving the bank now.

'm not made to do this. If I put my mind to something as much as I do
here to mindless text editing, copy and pasting, and getting yelled at
for stuff other people can't/won't/don't do, I would be much better off.
It's 6:43 a.m. on a Sunday, and I have at least 14 more hours of work to
do today that will not be fulfilling, useful, appreciated, recognized,
or paid for.

Sorry this is last minute, but it's just not worth doing more

My blackberry is on my desk

Apparently that failed staffing request was fatal (no, not as in I'm
going to kill myself, hehe, I'm just going to go enjoy life). There is
no happiness here.

I took all my personal stuff. No one needs to contact me for anything
(except for a drink for those of you with my personal number). I will
only be at my New York address a few days longer.

Good luck y'all,

P.S. I'll be waiting for some smart-ass associate to send a
"best-practice e-mail for how to quit properly". Thank you Nabeel,
Bernotas, and Barnes for your previous e-mails. I will be sure to keep
your tips in mind.

 

would this not be a management/associate failure and/or problem - giving someone so much work to do that they get crushed? It would seem to be that this is the worst scenerio, since now there is more work for everyone else to do.

 

It's not well written (70-80 percentile by IB analyst standards, but still...) but I admire the spirit of it.

Of course, what he doesn't realize is that there are hundreds of thousands of college kids who aren't bright enough to have better ways of getting rich, who would therefore gladly take his position, and that he's not making the slightest dent in the machine.

 

The difficulty is you don't know what someone's limit is. Everyone gets pushed and you got to hope no one cracks. You can't let everyone go home at midnight because there may be someone in the pack that can't cut it.

As for the guy who quit: I hope he is financially successful in life, otherwise he might have to live with the thought of "what if I had just stuck it out..."

CompBanker’s Career Guidance Services: https://www.rossettiadvisors.com/
 

Higher ups in my group just talk about how that kid will never get another job on wall st.

I'm guessing he would never want to and it's just the md's trying to reassure themselves the industry they have devoted their every waking hour to is respectable.

 

Whoever says he will never get another job on Wall Street is not necessarily right. I can't speak to this case specifically, but buy-siders don't have a lot of respect for investment bankers (not necessarily the case for analysts though, and associates to a lesser extent). They view them as unloyal vultures. They are not the decision makers in an industry- they just kiss their ass so the decision makers will send some fees over.

 

jbc, i agree with your comment about what buysiders think of ib. This summer all the HF guys I worked with did nothing but mouth bankers and called them "fucking cockroaches" on a regular basis. One night when they took me out for drinks and we were discussing my plans when I graduate (I mentioned banking) they told me that if I want to go into banking then "do it for two years, then get the fuck out and never look back." In fact, they hated bankers so much I admit that I am somewhat uneasy about telling them I'm going to try to get a SA position at a bank instead of returning to the HF for the summer.

 
Best Response
mylifeishell:
Subject: Sorry everyone

If I put my mind to something as much as I do here to mindless text editing, copy and pasting, and getting yelled at for stuff other people can't/won't/don't do, I would be much better off.

He is (at least legally) an adult who made a choice - to join an IB. If he did not know before-hand what an analyst's work and lifestyle is, he is an idiot to have applied for and taken up that job. If he did know and still took the offer, then badmouthing something he was already aware of once again proves him to be a complete tool.

This is not in defense of IB analyst lifestyle. But you knowingly buy into it. Analysts at IBs last year made more than 99% of their peers in any other profession. Obviously (in a non-socialist system) there is a cost to everything. He should have at least acknowledged that, instead of trying to be a jerk and probably demoralizing the others who have agreed to pay the price for their careers.

Unless he is a trust fund baby, I would love to know what he is going to do that will be more "fulfilling, useful, appreciated, recognized, or paid for." I have friends in many industries and three years out of school, I am yet to meet anyone who can convincingly claim all of the above (there arent any famous movie stars or athletes in me circle though.) Unless you create something like Google by the time you get out of school, or you are achieved self actualization and surfing while earning your living doing odd jobs here and there is an acceptable career, there are very few folks out there who are enjoying work. At least if you are in IB you get paid a lot and have excellent exit opportunities!

Evidently all this didnt occur to the doucebag before shooting off an imbecile email. I guess he felt he was redeeming himself by writing all that. Sadly, he is the one who comes across as a fool doing it.

 

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