Outside of work, this has been a big theme for me and something that has occupied a great deal of my thoughts being in my 20s. I am still in my 20s so maybe an older soul can give more insight into all of this.
While it seems like after college you start to make more money and become wealthier, it is also supposed to be a lot less fun. College was supposed to be the time to have had all your fun and made a ton of new friends, it was THE time to do it.
I think about the root of it all and it goes back to other people around your age. It seems like 18-21 year olds want to make new friends, they want to go out, they want to engage in social activities, hookups and relationships for the fun of it are normal, and they seem more optimistic about life compared to anyone past the age of 25.
What's frustrating is that it seems like life after college can have the potential to be a ton of fun, but that never really transpires due to the people you are around.
You have money, you are probably wiser now with age, and you have a better understanding of yourself. Big cities themselves seem to offer countless bars and venues where alcohol is readily available.
Issue here is that the circumstances are much less favorable. You don't get a chance to meet as many new people who are high on life and people around you. Opportunities to make new friends, have fun new social experiences, and be a part of a community don't seem to exist after college because people are forced to go to a more lonely path.
It seems as if for those of us who do like to make new friends and have fun times, life peaked in college.
If you're more introverted or more of a misanthrope, I think life actually does get better as you get older.
What are your thoughts?
Comments (159)
I think, in general, it's harder to have that same kind of experience after college, but that's not to say there's no hope. Like you said, it all depends on the people you're around. I used to think college is the time to have fun, but then I look at my older brother. He's in his mid-20s, and lives with four of his best friends in an apartment, and they party every weekend. They have the money to go on awesome weekend trips and the like too. So it's not all over once you're done with college, there are still plenty of good times to be had, and you're making money, which is nice.
The fun and social aspect of life only peaks in college if your personal growth and maturity ends at age 21. If you define fun, in your 30's, as getting fucked up multiple days a week at a bar or a club then sure, that's definitely easier and more fun when you're in college. I was in a fraternity and I don't regret my college life at all.
Eventually you grow up though and your definition of fun (hopefully) changes. You don't have to go on a "lonely path" unless you're socially retarded. Making friends just happens to take work for once in your life.
Your friends pre-k were your mom's friends' kids. Your friends in highschool went to your highschool. Your friends in college went to your college. All you had to do was pick a handful and boom - friendship. Postgrad friendships require you to have some sort of shared interest and actually takes some initiative.
If you think life peaks in college, you don't actually like to make new friends and have fun times.
I missed out on the getting fucked up part in college and I feel like I will live an empty life forever for it because I wonder if it is even possible to have a ton of friends to do that with in your 30s.
The cheesy MeetUp stuff just tends to annoy me, I rather have a large group of friends to go on an alcohol fueled party with because I just missed out on the college experience as a whole, commuter life and then transferring to a state flagship is not the way to go!
The point is you do other things with your friends in your 30's. Don't be that guy who tries to act a decade younger than what he is. It's weird.
I'm a single man in his 30's. Here's my thoughts on this.
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Are state school colleges really that fun? (Originally Posted: 09/13/2012)
One thing i've noticed consistently among the Big 10 alums here in chicago is how much they absolutely love their college and their undergrad experience. I was recently talking to a guy who graduated from illinois, and he was raving about how much fun college was. It was sort of weird that someone who's been out of school for a while still talks about it as if he were still a college kid.
Maybe I'm missing something here, but what exactly is so awesome about a big state school undergrad experience? I could be wrong here, but it seems like it's been hyped up a bit too much.
Is this the thread which was hijacked by that troll? https://www.wallstreetoasis.com/forums/hypo-youre-...
In the late twenties here, and pretty much just turned single in a town very far from my own - I have not been in my own country since last Christmas. Would love some input on single living post-college in big cities. Today I even managed to sign up for a 4 week singles dance course. I feel like Billy Elliott and his father are raging inside me.
Take it from a 30-ish NYC woman... save yourself the hassle and humiliation and stay away from "singles" events. Dating in major cities like NY & San Fran is a bitch, especially when you lack thick friend networks or a penchant for bar hookups.
I've tried singles meetups and the result was always a ridiculous stat of 5-8 guys per girl. Getting together is impossible from something like that, especially when all the guys desperately corner and jump on you in tandem.
If dancing is your thing, go ballroom dancing. Not salsa, etc. "ballroom dancing". Lots of single foreign and American women taking classes there on their own. You can split a private class with one, and maybe hook up later.
Biggest piece of advice, though, do NOT pick up chicks in the bar. You don't know what the hell you can pick up from them, and many tend to use junior guys. These gals have also been tossed around more than once by a series of men...
Luckily nobody else does that with their thoughts on school.
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BIG 10 gives you the best of both worlds.
-Gorgeous women
-Totally different social scene (Greek life, parties)
-Top athletic programs
-Very good academic programs
-Cheaper tuition relative to Ivies
-Some are targets with OCR
Now, you tell me why Harvard would be better than Michigan or Northwestern.
If Big 10 gives you all that, the ACC gives you all that squared.
+1 and SB..the answer to your question is: yes..yes they are that fun.
If you don't like drinking, huge parties, hot morally casual girls and sports, then it probably is overrated. You can also still end up with the same job opportunities as those Harvard kids.
P.S. You can go to the bars at 19 at U of I.
P.P.S. None of the above applies to Northwestern.
P.P.P.S Michigan should be a no-brainer for anyone that is fun and wants to work in finance.
I was just strolling down the street in East Village last Saturday when I happened to pass by Professor Tom while the Michigan game was about to get started. I was amazed by the stream of extremely hot girls wearing Michigan jerseys and t-shirts pouring into the bar. It was as if they were runway models going to a fashion show. For some reason I felt compelled to join them at the bar. Me thinks I will be following the Wolverines from now on. GO BLUE!
I went to a few Big-10 dominated parties in Chicago I have a question - don't you people know that both bud light and natty are shitty beer? I thought people drank it in college because its cheap. Why the FUCK would you drink it when you can afford something better! Or is it some kind of nostalgia thing?
Big 10 alums in Chicago love their bud light, miller lite, and natty. Not uncommon at all to see 30-year old guys still wearing their college gear and gulping buds as if their lives depended on it.
Its not weird at all. He just wishes he was back in college, and why shouldn't he? College is the best thing ever... being on your own for the first time, meeting a million new people, going to parties and bars, campus during the fall (personal favorite), sports, late night pizza, chicks, chilling on your porch grilling/drinking beers, etc etc etc.
If you can't answer "yes" to both of these questions then you probably didn't have a good ol' fashion kick-ass American college experience:
1) Are your best friends from college still your best friends post-college?
2) Do you often find yourself thinking "I would literally do anything to go back to freshman year"
Wow. Is this the typical American college experience?
My answer to both questions is a resounding no. I would rather slit my wrist with a razor blade than have to re-live college.
every day brah
Yes
All that shit you desperately hope HBS will provide for you, the social life that you had to give up while you were studying all the time, confidence / swagger (from wearing private equity club jackets... lulz), and "sick costume parties" us state schoolers lived 5-6 nights a week for four years... and then got to the same place you did... we just paid less and got laid more and actually enjoyed our time. But don't worry... we won't be smug, condescending prestige whores about it... we know it must be hard to have paid 3-4x as much only to get to the exact same place, just with a bigger chip on your shoulder, all the while knowing that you had a miserable 4 years, while some kid at Ross or Indiana was hooking up with all the sorority girls pined over without dropping the H-Bomb or 200k on tuition and epic trips to Park City. It's like your fantasy about HBS, except the girls are hot and down to earth. FYI there's no way in shit an HBS costume party could even come close to throwing down like the Big 10, SEC, or ACC...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-smJgyIPyAg http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hbsKrwIz8ts
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1XFrQu3iwyc&feature... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xj-MWXvS7VY&feature...
^^^^^ This is what my friends and I did 5-6 nights a week during undergrad
+1 SB for this, +1 for your other reply, +1 for any other post you make on this thread.
Wish I had another SB. +1
Brady, you're missing a lot about life in general with your attitude and outlook in life. Good luck trying to figure it out (here's a clue: you won't)
What's with all the hate on Bud Light / Coors Light? I love a high quality beer as much as the next guy, but sometimes a cold, crisp Coors Light can't be beat. Especially when there's football to watch.
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Hmm - I think Brady's reply to my comment took the douche level up a few spots. I was trying to be mildly funny. I dont think Big 10 alums are provincial , or any such nonsense - nor do I walk around thumbing my nose.
I just think that a lot of Big 10 places in Chicago have that sort of attitude - Let's relive our college days perpetually. And frankly , it begins to wear thin after a few years in that environment. Especially , if you're not from the area.
Honestly, does drinking beers and watching football on the weekend at a bar equal "trying to relive college perpetually?" What sort of shit is this.
This whole thread is ridiculous. "I see people out having fun...I just don't get it. Grow up and drink better beer!"
I mean...what?
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State School is fun if your the party, drinking, "player" type. Not so good if your intellectually engaged, prefer a smaller and "tighter" group of friends and a true academic experience involving things like study abroad, volunteering/charity work, research with a professor, etc which top ranked Privates (mostly) do better. However once you get outside of the top ranked schools, big privates like Syracuse, Northeastern, Boston University, etc are pretty similar to state schools with the drinking and party aspect of college. And for everyone who said that state school is cheaper I lol, because nearly all of the good public schools (if your from the northeast/mid atlantic) are insanely expensive and stingy with financial aid for out of state applicants.
Yeah, this seems right.
Being a fan of partying is not always mutually exclusive with a "true academic experience" of being intellectually engaged or involved in research, charity, etc.
Most Big 10 schools are very cheap in state.
It's pretty hard to funnel a hoppy IPA or a nice creamy porter. I've never seen a 30 rack of Fat Tire.
Fact: if some dude came to watch football on Sunday with my and my friends and turned his nose up to a Bud Light, I'd open-palm smack him in the face and tell him to get the fuck out of my apartment.
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word
Sure, he's your guest at your place with your friends, so he should accept happily.
But if you're going to bend over and fuck the guy by handing him Bud Light instead of Natty/Coors Light, at least have the courtesy to give him a reach around.
Mostly kidding, but I really do hate Bud Light for some (likely irrational) reason.
This describes me to a "T".
I think there are 3 takeaways from this thread_
1. Everyone who criticizes a state school scene is a condescending elitist douchebag.
2. Everyone who attacks type (1) is an insecure yobbo , with an axe to grind OR an awesome stud who parties his ass off and gets laid every night like a rockstar while (1) is swilling chardonnay and eating arugula
3. There are no nuanced statements and no middle ground. Try to make some and both sides will take a shit on you.
Fucking unbelievable.
Eh , people have the right to party however they want. And I have the right to say that I think a scene sucks. That's all I have to say on the matter
It's what you make of it. I went to a state school and my experience was overall pretty lame and nothing like those videos that rufiolove linked to.
Brady,
You just don't get it. I mean, you just don't get it. I don't know where you did your undergrad, but I will tell you outright, I loved my time in Undergrad. It was fantastic and provided me memories that still shape my life. Lets see, I partied hard 5-6 nights a week. I tailgated and attended every home football game in the fall. I helped raise money as part of the largest Student-Ran Charity Organization in the world (which, in my senior year - the year I danced - we raised 5.2MM and that was doubled last year when we raised 10.7MM dollars) to help fight childhood cancer. If you've ever seen a Canner on the streets in Philly, or anywhere in PA, Jersey, NYC, Connecticut, and Long Island repping Thon, then you know what I'm talking about. When I see those students out raising money like this, it's a great way to chat and find out about what's been going on since I left. I love the reunions I have with friends I haven't seen in ages when we all come barreling into town for a huge football game or randomly running into friends when I watch the game at a Big-10 Bar. Going to a State School, particularly one with a great sports program (either D1 Football, Basketball or Hockey), changes your perspective on things. For me, I still recall my favorite game of my Freshman year, where me and 100,000+ of my closest friends packed into the stadium on campus, in the rain, only to see our team lose 6-4 (yes, you read that right. We scored TWO safeties). I have awesome stories of ragers and parties I either attended or helped throw and the insane shit that I did I wouldn't have found if I didn't attend a Premier State School. Man, I've got stories which I love telling and whenever I get together with some of my college buddies, we always joke and retell stories like that. Even now, when we get together in the city to catch the game if we can't make it back to State, it's still drinking and enjoying the game.
Look, you won't get that at HBS. Dropping the "H-Bomb" doesn't mean shit to people who aren't prestige whores and if you consider the partying you'll do there as the pinnacle of partying, then you've never partied hard before. I know you haven't had a true College Football experience. I bet you haven't drank in a town full of bars (or at a fraternity party) until everything is closed and then stumbled and gotten yourself amazing drunk pizza before riding the bus back with drunkard up to campus and have a good time with it. I doubt you ever thought about it in terms of having fun and enjoying life. You don't get it because you never wanted to get it in the first place. That's the truth man. That's the honest truth.
As to the whole beer thing, if you're serving a large group of people, why the hell would I shell out money for a keg of beer that I can't necessarily session if I know everyone will drink something sessionable that's cheap? Whenever we tailgated senior year through now, with the exception of one of my friends bringing a Sixtel of homebrew, we usually stock Lager and either Miller Lite, Coors Light or Bud Light. Why? 'Cause you can drink it, session it and not get as thoroughly fucked up by it alone. We're here to drink and we're here to outlast. Why the fuck would I spend 16 bucks on two Lagunitas IPAs if I'm out drinking with college buddies or watching the game when I can spend 16 bucks on a PITCHER of Bud Light and not be filled up as much. Clearly you're not a seasoned drinker like these guys are. Likewise, this is College Football we're watching, not going out for a night out on the town. It's supposed to be about having fun, drinking and enjoying life. IF I'm at a friends place watching the game, you better believe the lot of us are playing Beer Pong, Quarters, Robopound, and Civil War and we're drinking beer that we can play beer games on, not something that will fill us up after a Sixer. Likewise, if I'm catching a game before going out, I stick with session beer because it means that I can drink a bit more if need be and still be able to go onto the next place and party hard. Drinking is as much a science as it is an art and I bet you won't learn that fact that HBS.
While we all know Brady's feelings in re HBS, he didn't really compare business school to large state schools anywhere in this thread. You're throwing that out there just to beat up on him.
This quote had me laughing my ass off. I never really thought of it like that. Awesome.
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Can't we all just get along
YOU ARE 30 WHY ARE YOU SO FUCKING WORRIED ABOUT COLLEGES AND THEIR RESPECTIVE EXPERIENCES. YOU ARE LITERALLY A PUNCH LINE.
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YOU ARE 24 HOW DO YOU HAVE TEN THOUSAND POSTS ON THIS FORUM ??????
I'm worried? Lol. It's just a harmless thread. Don't get all worked up over it, even though you're currently going through your period.
This thread is bizarro world
I know, right?
Brady talking about State Schools and the experiences that the "non-target Elite" have? It's seriously out of whack man.
Drink light beer cause most times we are drinking 8-12, not sipping on one for the night. Plus as someone else mentioned, you can't play beer games with heavy stuff. It's disgusting.
Don't know about you guys, but I watch my football games with a bottle of Moet & Chandon.
In Brady's defense, he went to arguably the best UG business school where competition is fierce and sports are not huge. And as someone who has drank up in this schools neck of the woods, you have like 3 bars and they aren't anything awesome.
Big schools with sports programs are fun because sports bonds people together. It is like a gang. You have colors, chants, rivalries, past memories. You connect with older and younger alumni easily. Big student bodies mean a lot of people, men and women, and these campuses are sometimes socially isolated so people are forced to hang together. Ann Arbor, Columbus, Madison, Lincoln, Etc aren't in major metro's. NYU, Penn, Chicago, UCLA, all have major cities to go out in.
And yeah, you throw your gear on and pound beers all day. And no, you never grow out of Murray Hill. What is this crap. That is like saying as you get older you prefer stuck up women who are no fun.
I could be off base, but I thought that Brady didn't attend Wharton but just UPenn. Not sure tho.
I'll throw in here that the alumni connection to state schools are strongly rooted in their regional identities. Hence being an Penn State alum or an Ohio State alum or an Iowa alum is not just simply being a graduate of the college, but also of being a representative of where you are from, your hometowns and home states.
Ok, Brady. I'm going to give you some props. You have now figured out how to generate the largest amount of responses among anybody here. Well done.
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Well maybe true, not 100%, either way everything else I said stands. Sometimes there is a trade off between top school and experience. Up to the individual to decide what is most valuable.
Can we talk about state schools in states with warm weather?
UCSB , UCSD and UT Austin are fucking awesome party schools.
Brady making absolutely no attempt to hide his troll accounts (soapy detergent and misspartiesalot), nice.
Agreed.
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Brady making absolutely no attempt to hide his troll accounts (soapy detergent and misspartiesalot), nice.
Rufio,
I think she is. On what, I don't know, but I think she is.
I'd be interested in what you meant by this...the cities with flying nightlife tend to be the more expensive (NYC/SF) and cost an arm and a leg for rent, not sure what you meant here?
I completely agree with your assessment, You should feel more fulfilled the older you get, If your doing it right. I find friends online that I wouldn't find in person that are funny, smart and all around fun to interact with. And I don't mean just typing. I can see, talk and interact with them. I believe in balance, between fun and accomplishing goals
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If you move to NYC after college and don't have blast in that city, you're doing it wrong.
"If you always put limits on everything you do, physical or anything else, it will spread into your work and into your life. There are no limits. There are only plateaus, and you must not stay there, you must go beyond them." - Bruce Lee
I'm a woman, late 20's, and I don't think my life quite "bloomed" until I LEFT college. Disclaimer: I am not a social butterfly.
In college we're very "quantity"-oriented while the post-grad life becomes more "quality", (yes, even with 80+ hour work weeks). Of course, some people still prefer to pursue the quantity of experiences. But more than anything, the way to think of the college "fun" is it's a brief phase that lays the foundation upon which you can build on in the real world.
As an example, in college I studied abroad in all sorts of crazy locales literally every other semester, so I had a massive "quantity" of fun experiences... living as a globe-trotting, money-strapped college student housing for months in questionable accommodations and "exotic" destinations. Tons of fun, and I got to meet a lot of unique people, learn a lot of stories and carelessly see the globe. When I left school, the fun ceased... and I'm happy that it did.
Now my travel is made up of roadshows, client meetings, and bankruptcy court (coverage). Life-draining? Yes. But hey, when you're drained, it enables you to appreciate time-off all the better. It also enables me to accumulate the money needed to stay in better hotels and try better restaurants, or buy more tours in my old global homes, if even for few days of vacation.
Personal life, same thing. By 30 you've now got a tried and true base circle of friends, as opposed to 200 half of whom you'll most likely never see again. Dating-wise, also, you've pretty much figured out your comfort zone by now.
So don't feel bad the next time you ditch the bar, the girl/guy, to come home and fall on the bed from exhaustion. It's a sign of you moving towards the better.
As someone who missed out on college and the early 20s fun, I sometimes hope I don't live to be 30 given how boring it will be to be around people of my own age.
It's what you make it. If you are surrounded by married couples with children, it's going to influence your perception of what you think you should be doing with your life. Contrast this with surrounding yourself with single people who go out for happy hour and don't have a family to go home to, that can also influence how you feel. Just go after what you feel is right for you.
Dude you have been making these threads every other week for the past 2 years.
He's still looking for fun.
"If you always put limits on everything you do, physical or anything else, it will spread into your work and into your life. There are no limits. There are only plateaus, and you must not stay there, you must go beyond them." - Bruce Lee
Well man, life has always dealt me a pretty rough hand in regards to social life, environment, and fun experiences. TBH, sometimes I wonder if I will live to be 30 given the amount of stuff I have missed out on and then realizing how far behind I will be socially at the age of 30 compared to others in their 30.
Strict overbearing parents and poverty, a surefire way to have a terrible adolescence and lack of a true college experience :'(
OK man.
You need to sack it up and take ownership of your life. Your circumstances are yours to control. Hate your life? Quit your job, pick up and move. Ski season is just starting. Be a ski bum for the winter. Move to the beach and bar tend until you figure it out. Move to NYC without a job, like I did. It's within your power to change your circumstances.
He's trying to talk himself off of the ledge.
I echo the points others have made. Maybe if you consider fun to be getting wasted and doing shit without worrying about the repercussions, then college probably was the peak of the fun.
I think that for a lot of people (maybe less in finance), fun isn't always linked to being socially active. Partly due to my upbringing and partly due to the culture where I live, fun seems to be a lot more about doing what you enjoy, spending time with close friends/family.
I've been to the bar less than five times in my entire life if you exclude work related stuff, despise socializing for the point of socializing (come on, why would I bother wanting to know some random stranger that is here to get drunk or to get a date), and dislike forming pointless relationships. For me, life has been a lot more fun after getting away from the people that only know how to get wasted (because getting wasted is cool in college or something), the people that pretend to be the best buddies when the only thing in common is that they bumped into each other in some mandatory setting, and also the people that seem to always look to others for confirmation to what they are doing.
Life becomes a lot more fun when you don't have to maintain the facade that everyone does in highschool or college in order to not be shunned away from the major social circle. Given that you perform well and be like what other people expect at work, you can experience fun however you like it. No one gives a shit if you want to go drink till sunrise or if you want to play video games for 20 hours a day during your time off.
At least for me (and for many others) working a job ain't as much fun as college for this main reason: you are working with / spending time with others who are similar in age group in a free, non-caring environment in college, this enables easy friendship that leads you to pursue any activity that isn't illegal, with whomever that's close by. I had absolute a blast in college. In college, I Met many fun, outgoing dudes who I became close to, met lots of girls to flirt with, and enjoyed all the drinking, dancing, smoking, and some.
At work, I am surrounded by balding, fat middle aged men who don't give two shits about anything but to cover their ass not to get fired. I will admit it's much, much tougher to build social bonds with your coworkers and you can't easily bond with others at random happy hour events or meet ups. These are for the most part superficial relationships.
That said, my definition of fun has evolved. Now, being in my late 20s, I place more value on 'meaningful' relationships. Friendships that are genuine and mutually respectful. Friendships that provoke deep thinking or reflections, challenging my perspectives and view points. Friendships that involve maturity. Friendships that I can be challenged to change the way I approach or view things.
And also, I no longer wish to waste my life doing activities that aren't productive. I'd rather spend quality time with my wife and close group of great friends, not just hanging with the bros crashing beers at 3 am. I feel I'm now too old for that shit
what a depressing thought if life peaked at college.
a certain part of you may peak at college, you have more free time / flexibility and you're able to have higher quantity of certain things, social time, parties, keg stand max time, sleeping around etc etc. later in life it's more about quality over quantity
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As someone who had no quantity for social life in college, I kind want that quantity in my 30s.
it's doable, i did it, pm me if you want some ideas
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a man should peak years after death. when they write books about him.
heister:
Look at all these wannabe richies hating on an expensive salad.
hmm
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Jesus
"If you always put limits on everything you do, physical or anything else, it will spread into your work and into your life. There are no limits. There are only plateaus, and you must not stay there, you must go beyond them." - Bruce Lee
Life is what you make it. Don't let anyone tell you how to live YOUR life.
8 hours of sober sleep is way more fun now than it was in college. So there's that.
To add something more to this...most of my best friends at this stage of my life (late 30's and married) were guys I met in my mid to late-20s working in NYC. I still have some great friends from college, but the guys I see the most are those I met post-college, many of whom were colleagues.
I am not sure how much I can chime into this thread. First thread to read after getting back on WSO.
Early 30's here, attended college for a bit before taking a FT offer for awhile, back at it again (to finish). It takes work to make friends that are quality at this stage in my life. I live in SoCal, and have my pick of commute to where I want to go to meet new people.
I do still have the group fun with a lot of mixed age (18-40) people from work, school. The friends I do pick I know can socially joke and get along with others I know. I still engage in social activities.
I am not going to lie, I had to re-do my life and examined what needed to be done and how. I literally threw my old clothes out for new ones If you dress poorly or look not too presentable, no one will talk to you. Dress neatly, and if you are going out, dress with some decent to good clothes. Appearances does matter to a lot of people because you only get one chance to make an impression, make it count.
I asked for input on my fashion from a woman I met during student orientation (highly attractive worked in high-end retail for 5 years), and it has helped tremendously when I date and meet other women. I took the time to learn and read more about sports, news, politics, finance, learn to shoot pool, piano, and I will be signing up to do ballroom dancing. I am doing this with a workload and student schedule. It is not impossible.
It took me about 4 years or so to get to where I am. Nothing magically happens overnight.
I wish you well OP.
ok Preppy McGee
i'm straight up grunge/hippie if I don't have to wear a monkey suit.
all I really need is a pair of vans, jeans, and a tee - not sure what kind of style you're pulling in SoCal
"If you always put limits on everything you do, physical or anything else, it will spread into your work and into your life. There are no limits. There are only plateaus, and you must not stay there, you must go beyond them." - Bruce Lee
There's that too. My outfit for the summer includes the sandals with the occasional surfing, gotta love the beaches here in SoCal.
@Postgradwonderer I'm going to recommend you a book that I STRONGLY recommend you read and study: A Guide To Rational Living by Albert Ellis and Robert Harper. It's obvious from the many posts you've made that you're a disturbed individual, and I really think this is a book that could help you. For your own sake, study it and do what it says; don't just read it and forget it on your bookshelf.
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