Woodford + Creatine = Greatness
Story time. So last night I'm spinning my wheels in the wee hours, taking key bumps, waiting for pre-market. You know, usual weekday routine. I start clicking around WSJ and I see Shillary is leading in 4 key battleground states and that, combined with the coke, gets me mad. I almost reach for the 9 iron so I can give my desktop monitor the Office Space treatment. I stop when I see an alert on my phone from Robinhood (which, don't you dare tell my boss about that) telling me I've been flagged as a pattern day trader and I can either inject a shit ton of money into my account or basically fuck off. That's it. I decide to rage a little.
I mix some creatine into my Woodford Reserve and slam that shit. Break out the Shake Weight. Hell yes. For all you fuckers who hate on the Shake Weight, hate all you want, that thing gets results. I can channel my rage into pure unadulterated energy that will keep me going all week until I can crash into Bellevue on a Citi bike right after Friday close while having a mild "brain event." (They have a private room set aside for me in my father's name).
Fast forward to today and I feel like a king. So anyone out there who is working 90 hours a week and thinks they can't handle it, get out now, because this life is for BOSSES. Get on my train or get run over. Any time I have the jitters (because "depression" and "anxiety" are for liberals) I just remember how rich I'm going to be in 10 years and how much NYU ass I'm already getting Ubered to my building on a weekly basis.
Tonight I'm taking this girl I met on Tinder out. She's here on business from Kansas City or some shit, so literally all I have to do is take her to the Times Square Olive Garden and then home to pound town.
Actually, what's the worst? Olive Garden, Applebees, or TGI Fridays?
I'll let you know how it goes down.
Mod Note (Andy): Best of 2016, this post ranks #42 for the past year
Applebees is by far the worst.
also:
The madison square park shake shack is a panty dropper imo. In the case you're looking to be a bit casual.
Charlie Sheen-esque, +1
I got a spike in testosterone just from reading this
I take the good ones to Cheesecake Factory.
Halal Guys food cart makes those panties drop FAST. Of course, that is about 2 hours after the meal, once you digest the food.
TGI's at Union Square...more centrally located
Finally. A semi-decent troll post. I was beginning to lose hope.
cool and tough
Going to listen to this with text-to-speech while lifting today
Truly invigorating as I read this with my black coffee, +1
This guy will last probably 1 more month, before total emotional fall out and drug(if not full psyciatric) rehabilitation.
apart form that, FUCK YEAH CRUSH IT!
hilarious. +1
This is what we need on days like today +1
Made me chuckle.
This post is fucking underrated.
This forum is full of 12 year old losers that don't know shit about anything.
Can someone tell me what that avatar pic is from? I've seen that pussy kid before.
Fear The Bulge don't change a thing, these are epic
i fucking love this haha, said "tldr" on your last thread, but now im going back to read it :)
Hahaha quality
Bump
Ordered a woodford reserve manhattan yesterday out of panic, and out of recollection of this post
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