"There are more old drunkards than there are old doctors..." - Benjamin Franklin
As if you needed another reason to partake in Wall Street's culture of booze (well, some of you do), a recent 20-year study has concluded that heavy drinkers live longer than people who don't drink at all. So there. You teetotalers in the crowd are probably coming up with all kinds of justifications about how this data is flawed, but you can rest assured that the researchers factored in everything. The fact is, heavy drinkers live longer.
Even though heavy drinking is associated with higher risk for cirrhosis and several types of cancer (particularly cancers in the mouth and esophagus), heavy drinkers are less likely to die than people who have never drunk. One important reason is that alcohol lubricates so many social interactions, and social interactions are vital for maintaining mental and physical health. As I pointed out last year, nondrinkers show greater signs of depression than those who allow themselves to join the party.
Drinking has always been a part of Wall Street. While three martini lunches may have gone the way of Michael Milken, drinking and socializing are still a big part of the culture. I've always been wary of people who don't drink in general, and especially wary of those on the Street who don't drink. Like Humphrey Bogart was fond of saying, "The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind."
With that in mind, I thought it might make for a few laughs if we all shared some of our most heinous drinking stories. As usual, I'll go first.
I was working out of the San Diego office of my firm for a while, and the market closes at 1:00 in the afternoon there. So one day myself and three other guys decided to head down to Tijuana after the close to spend the afternoon gambling at Caliente. Caliente kicks ass, because they'll let you bet on the stupidest shit you've ever heard of. Wanna lay a bet on competition fishing? They'll take your action.
So the four of us are down there eating, drinking, and betting on buggy races or some stupid shit for about three hours when we decide to head back to this really hot bar in La Jolla for happy hour. On our way out of Caliente, we pick up a bottle of almendrado - a cheap, amaretto-flavored tequila - for the ride home. I'll call the youngest member of our crew Ralph, for reasons that will soon become obvious.
I'm driving and I had enough to drink at Caliente, so I left the almendrado alone. The other guys passed it around the car but most of it was consumed by Ralph. By the time we got to the bar, the bottle was empty and Ralph was pretty much wasted.
I don't know why we did what we did, probably because Ralph was so drunk that he was getting annoying, but when we got in the bar we slipped the bartender a fifty to help us ruin Ralph. The place was filling up fast because happy hour was in full swing, so we were lucky to have a spot right at the bar. We told Ralph we were switching to peppermint Schnapps shooters, and he was too wrecked to argue.
Thing was, Ralph was the only one doing peppermint Schnapps shooters, as the bartender was filling our shot glasses with water. So we did one, then two, then three, and Ralph is getting really shaky. Common sense would clearly dictate what happens next, but it just so happened that common sense decided to stay late at the office that night, so we were on our own.
The fourth shot saw Ralph break out in a cold sweat. The fifth shot put him over the edge. In the middle of a packed bar, Ralph erupted like Mount Vesuvius. I mean, he wallpapered the place. He puked all over the bar, all over the bottles behind the bar, all over the ice bin behind the bar. People were screaming and scattering like Godzilla had been sighted.
My other two buddies took off like a shot, leaving me behind to cope with the quivering, puking shell of Ralph and a now very pissed off bartender. I threw a couple of twenties on the bar and dragged Ralph out of there, with him puking the whole way out. When I tried to load him into a cab, the cabbie wouldn't take him. I ended up giving him a ride home with his head hanging out the window.
And all this before 7:00 at night. Good times.
Your turn.
how heavy is "heavy"?
For the purposes of the research, a "heavy" drinker was someone who drank more than 3 alcoholic beverages per day. "Moderate" drinkers were those who drank 1-3 drinks per day, and they lived longer than anyone.
So heavy drinking isn't the optimal strategy for longevity (evidently moderate drinking is), but it sure beats sobriety.
sounds like your average night out... haha!
this is full of shit
Why would you be wary of non-drinkers? That's an absolutely absurd statement. I don't drink because I think it's immoral to give my money to an industry that ruins lives. The majority of domestic abuse and violent crime is associated with persons under the influence of alcohol or alcohol and other drugs combined. The alcohol industry clearly has and continues to target youth in their promotions. Not to mention that literally millions of people are addicted to alcohol and tens of thousands of families are ruined by it each year. And tens of thousands of people are killed or severely injured by drunk drivers each year.
Frankly, I'm wary of people who need to drink their lives away because they're so uninteresting sober. Keep in mind that half or more of the United States never or almost never drinks and we've done OK for ourselves over the last 234 years.
i am weary of your stat the half or more of the united states doesn't drink, but how do you know its not the drinking half that is the reason for america's continued success?
if you read the article it says that non-drinkers tend to be lower socioecomically than drinkers.
http://www.cdc.gov/nchs/fastats/alcohol.htm
According to the U.S. gov't, half the nation drinks less than 12 drinks per year.
Look, I'm not judging anyone for drinking--I was a fucking stupid drunk frat asshole--I've just decided that as an adult, the alcohol industry has ruined countless million lives and that I'd rather not give them my money. Even still, I consume about 6-12 drinks per year (maybe 1 per month on average). I just don't understand this attitude where drinkers look down their nose at non-drinkers, as if we don't have fun or date or have lives. Even as a college student, I never got the appeal of being drunk. My buddy quit drinking this January 2010 after he realized that he would blackout almost every time he went out and could never remember his fun. I'd just rather do something else for fun--it doesn't mean I'm a psycho or that I should be treated different at work just like I don't treat my drinking co-workers differently.
That's some nice fallacy of the excluded middle you've got there.
I'm wary of people who completely abstain from alcohol the same way I'm wary of people who live for the bottle. Both extremes represent anti-social tendencies, and THAT is scary.
If you can't go out with your buddies every once in a while, have a few shots and chase pretty girls around the city, you, my friend, have a problem.
i am tempted to respond with something a little linger than my usual 2-3 word responses.
You are totally wrong. And Ed is right; if you cant trust yourself to liquor, i don't trust you...unless your an ex alcoholic. People so exlusionist as to never ever take a drink, coke (non-diet) and red-meat, go topless on the beach (for girls) etc... have something of a almost religious fanaticism that is scary.
I guess I just have a hard time trusting a guy who doesn't trust himself with liquor. I also find teetotalers exceeding boring and preachy.
Ah, from the guy who just gave a sermon about the benefits of alcohol consumption. It's always the "other guy" who is preachy.
At least it wasn't boring!
And Edmundo has more life experience than most of us, so he is allowed to preach a little.
All the life experience in the world doesn't make one wise.
While true, that's irrelevant because Eddie's extremely wise and generally is pretty generous with his wisdom. As for something preachy to ponder:
"Wise men store up knowledge, but the mouth of a fool invites ruin."
'Nuff said.
A few nights later he plots the ultimate vengeance against the she-devil. Reasoning that b/c she was uber-Catholic we should go piss on the Vatican's door step, my drunken ass doesn't see any folly with his logic.
At this point the potential existence of Carabinieri files and a lack of knowledge about Italian statutes of limitations forbids me from going into detail...let's just say that to this day my boy and I share a look that says "I'm thinking about it too, but if we both ignore it hard enough it will eventually go away". No actual discussion has ever occurred on the subject, nor will it..
I haven't been to Rome or Italy since and I will never date an Italian model out of solidarity and self preservation.
Illini, wouldn't your quote apply to you and to the other WSO guys given that you guys are the one who throw around your so-called wisdom?
It would, too. Here is another quote:
"A wise man's heart guides his mouth, and his lips promote instruction."
You choose not to drink and that's fine. My best friend from college was a vociferous teetotaller, but was otherwise a pretty cool guy. Bear in mind, though, that you'll be one of the few people on the street who doesn't drink. What's not cool is getting into a fight over drinking or making a big deal about your abstention as it seems you're doing.
You're free to claim it's "so-called wisdom", but Eddie has done extremely well for himself, and most reasonable people would acknowledge that as wisdom by de-facto.
When I was in college, I thought I was incredibly wise and the 25 year-olds were all totally foolish- probably like you do. My religious views also led me to believe that there's no wisdom to be gained from more worldly folks. But you grow wiser from experience and learn that other peoples' wisdom is stuff that you can still learn from- even if you may have a different view on life than they do.
Oh well, that's my take on things. You're free to call us stupid if you wish. But then I think that shows just how much wisdom you have or lack.
I drink a couple of beers every now and then with my boyfriend. Helps us relax and shoot the breeze from a long, stressful week.
I wouldn't think heavy drinking is advisable, but moderate drinking can be fine. I don't judge those who drink or those who choose not to drink because I think everyone is entitled to make their own individual choices about their lives and how they choose to conduct themselves.
So, if you like having a couple of beers, go for it...and if not, that's okay, too.
First off, VA-Tech, I would argue that the greatest value this site has to offer anyone is the wisdom of some of the older guys on life in general. Sure, you can learn a lot about breaking into WS and the way WS works. But you've obviously been on this site enough to learn about the background of some of the older guys, and they always drop little nuggets of wisdom on life.
Anyways, I wish I had some good stories about heavy drinking (MMM you may need to PM me the end of your Italian story lol), but sadly, I do not. Most of my drunken nights involve spending the night 'dinosauring', running away from my friends, or passing out on the floor (when my bed was two feet away). Nothing epic like some of the posts above.
See, this is why I don't enjoy heavy drinking. You sit at the bar, have five beers, and a few club sodas, and then find yourself waiting for the PATH train (which runs every half hour after 11:30) thinking desperately about deserts and other dry things while getting seriously tempted to duck into the tunnel and hope the stream misses the third rail. And that's to say nothing of the hangover.
These days, I'll have two or three pints and stop there. Maybe four if I'm within walking distance of home.
I don't want epic stories to tell about drunkenness. I want to hang out with my friends at work. In one of life's great injustices, things just tend to run better when you're not drunk.
Agree with Edmundo - Don't trust people who never drink because I can't see their "true side".
If one day I am lucky enough to have my own team, I would take everyone to a bar and make sure EVERYONE is drinking to see what they are made off...
Oh,there are ways around that. I would drink half a glass of Yuengling, and keep it at half. After about two or three beers in groups of more than four, people have real trouble counting individual consumption.
I never get along with people that don't drink. Also, I don't get along too well with people that only drink crappy beer.
Yeah, yeah. You don't get along with guys that drink crappy beer until you've had your fifth pint and are putting your arm around me and say, "You know sumpfing? You're a great paaal...."
You probably shouldn't be hanging out with people that start slurring their speech after only five beers.
I didn't know there were so many wet blankets here until now.
Five beers as in bottles or pints?
5 pints= ~7 bottles.
Look, everybody has their own views on this stuff. Many people stay away from alcohol because they are religious, they've had bad experiences with people around them drinking, or they have had bad experiences themselves. There are many others who maybe shouldn't drink but still do so.
The point is that it's best not to impose your morality- either way- on other folks. But also, if you don't have a really good reason not to be drinking (IE: you are an incredibly staunch Baptist or Calvinist, or you're a Muslim or you suspect you might have genes for alcoholism) and you're over 21, it doesn't hurt to re-examine your views and just make sure you're not being too rigid. I used to be totally against drinking, but when the figurehead of your religion performs a miracle to get wine to a bunch of already-kinda-tipsy wedding guests, it's hard to argue that a few pints can do much harm if you don't get excessively drunk.
Please tell me there's more people than just myself on here who consider six beers a casual pregame.
I'm with you.
hell, pregaming doesnt even begin till you have busted out a bottle or at least had a 2on2 case race (3 is acceptable if one of your teammates is a girl). Then again, in my opinion you are not a heavy drinker unless you enjoy starting before noon and ending after midnight.
Alcohol never really kept me from succeeding (one time it did), in fact i think i studied better after a day and night of heavy boozing. However, the gfs were always able to fuck shit up. If I never had a gf and just stuck with beating the meat, I wld probably have had a 4.0 and be working on the old PhD in mathematics.
Seriously.
No one?
Not one of you guys has a decent binge drinking story for me?
C'mon, guys.
I weep for the future.
3rd year university, and me and my crew just got back from Vegas. My roommate (We'll call him Joe), a professional fighter, had just won his first fight in the UFC. We get back to our favorite bar, skirts are everywhere, and they all want to nail my now semi-famous friend. The entire bar is congratulating him with round after round after round. Meanwhile, this sexy little Trinidadian girl is doing whatever she can to get his attention, but he can't be bothered.
So me, being the gentleman that I am, swoop in and start chatting her up. Despite the excessive alcohol, Mr. professional asskicker realizes what I'm doing and is not impressed. I go back to our apartment, and the girl demands to see Joe's room. I oblige her and get down to business.
I hear the team come back and Joe is slurring loudly. I can't quite make out what he's saying, but I'm pretty sure he's figured out what's going on and is PISSED. He starts banging on the door, with what I later find out is his head because he broke bones in his hands and feet. Naturally, I start laughing and chirping him through the locked door.
He slurs something else, and I hear him walk away. Half a minute later, Joe bursts THROUGH the door. He actually ran across the hallway and jumped into it, splitting the door in half. The girl screams and takes off, and Joe is laughing and while writhing in pain, clutching his side. I am absolutely hysterical with laughter the whole way to the hospital, where we find out he broke three ribs and added a concussion to his already long list of injuries that weekend.
Eddie: Wall Street's big swinging dicks have been replaced by small ones with math degrees.
Ummm, six beers is pretty serious stuff- typically two beers past drunk as defined by the NJ Motor Vehicle Commission if you're under 200 lbs.
My rule is to try and stay below four or five beers in any given evening- maybe six over a long period of time on a friday or saturday night.
If you are downing more than six beers on a weekly or twice-weekly basis, that can't be all that healthy for your liver or your brain.
Much like everything else in life, knowing your limits and what you can handle is most important. Since I'm 6'7 200+ six beers isn't too much of an issue. Also, I know from experience that I'm a responsible drunk and I'm not going to be the guy puking in the corner of the bar. Healthwise, I think this article will corroborate that six beers isn't going to have an adverse health affect (I agree that a strong night of 20 drinks is not healthy).
If I'm ever in the situation where I'm driving though, I stick to the law (most of the time).
One time I downed four pints of Leinenkugels hanging out with a bunch of kids from this honors geology course at UIUC. We were all totally hammered and started telling really witty jokes about the photosynthetic archea in the hot springs we did a few research projects on at Yellowstone.
Then I had to walk home through the cold, snowy, midwestern December. It was 10 degrees and uphill both ways- I think (not sure, was kinda hazy on the memory the next morning.) My teatotalling Ned Flanders Baptist roommate says, "Wow. You must have had an interesting night. I woke up to hear a couple of thumps with you trying to get into your bedroom at 11:30 PM. Was it cold out? Your speech was kinda slurred as you were muttering about the 'darned door that always gets frigging stuck'. And did I hear some corny joke about archea?"
There, ya happy Eddie? At the end of the day, being an engineer, that's the extent of my drunken debauchery.
I was walking home from a college party one night with my roommates. There were three of us, all under the age of 21. We were walking through a soccer field and a cop pulls up on the road by the field and shines a spotlight on us. We keep walking, and then he turns on his sirens.
At this point, we think "he's on the road...we're on the soccer field... and there's a ditch separating the two." We're all mildly athletic guys, so we decide to make a run for it (and avoid getting Minor-in-Possessions). We take about ten strides, and 5 other cop cars drive onto the soccer field from the other sides. They easily chase us down (car vs foot on an open field) and tell us to get on our hands and knees. We do so, and they proceed to tackle us to the ground and cuff us.
It turns out they were looking for a guy who beat somebody up nearby, and they thought it was one of us. After realizing it wasn't any of us, they just give us tickets for being drunk minors, and let us go our way.
I'm on a 24 hour champagne diet yall -
But seriously - I'm in college atm - too many stories to possibly share.
A quick hopefully funny one. Just turned 20, so if I did drink in celebration, this is what would have happened (a la OJ's recent novel):
A few weeks ago it was my bday - went to some concert in a night club and never had a chance to pregame so we brought some stuff with us in the car and drank right outside. Being my birthday, I decide to obliterate half a handle of warm rum in 5-10 minute span... For whatever reason, about an hour or so later, I feel great, so I decide to drink some more at the bar. My friends get me some drinks, but this part of the night is pretty blurry - I just remember being furious that the bartender gave me a Miller Lite instead of Bud Lite... Sent out a few drunk + angry texts as a result haha.
Some time later, in the bathroom, I apparently nearly got into a fight with 3 HS juniors (Lol, right?) and got a facebook message two days later telling me "to watch my back."
Anyways, as the night starts to wind down, I decide to check out the upstairs of the club. I see some people sitting and chilling against the wall, and decide I need to take a break - this place was packed and I was drenched in sweat + Gd knows what else... I sit down, and, of course, I get the warming and wonderful sensation of puking - I completely obliterated the floor within a 4 square foot area. At this point, I needed to get out or probably be forcibly removed, so I barely manage to meet up with my friends I allegedly then proceeded to throw up uneaten and whole pieces of ravioli... Meanwhile, while one of my friends is waiting for me to get it out of my system, he's talking to groups of people walking by in a very dim parking lot, having legit conversations with his dick completely hanging out of his jeans. I don't remember much at this point, but I clearly remember him having a conversation with a group of people and one dude just randomly yelling "Holy $hit what the f*ck his dick is hanging out!" and just completely freaking out...
A quick sidenote - I'm one of the most OCD people when it comes to my bed. I need to shower before touching it pretty much...
We finally get home, and my friends are telling me to get into bed.... I literally just dropped on the floor and told them there was no way I was getting in my bed without showering first... Made them carry me into the shower and proceeded to take a 45 minute nap on the shower floor. Good times...
Props btw to all you story tellers here... this is hard... And probably 6-12 drinks when I go out... More towards 8-9 on average. At this rate I'm going to outlive all of you.
Here is my .02 cents. I find people who don't drink to be uncomfortable when they are around drinkers. I can understand a recovering alcoholic, but someone who says no to booze for whatever reason is usually dead weight. Not picking on anyone, just saying. Being the only sober guy among a bunch of drunk people is a total mood kill.
With that said, my life would probably of been much better if I never drank. Then again, I wouldn't of had the experiences and stories that have shaped me.
Want to hear a good one?
Last year, we got slammed with a bunch of analyst and friends - we got hammered to the point where most of us blacked out...Well, one of the analyst in my group was particularly damaged, so we put him in a car and and send him home - the guy goes to his place, got in the lobby and pressed the wrong button in the elevator of his condo in the West side - got in what he thought his appartment and crashed in the living room... (for non-Newyorkers - all the floor in a condos look almost the same...especially after this night)
Next morning the guy was woked up totally wasted by some histerical girl screaming and yelling at him, threatening him to call 911 (they were the actual owners of this apartment...).
We do still make fun of him for this...luckilly for him it was not in TX, they don't call 911 for this stuff over there...
...
I drink but i drink to be social. I don't have to be drunk to be social or get along with people or to talk to girls. When I go out my primary goal is to get laid so being really drunk is never a good plan. I have some stories but they are pieces because I drink vodka and I make mixed shots for girls that come in my room in my fraternity house. normally its about 1/3 vodka 2/3 mix. Girl love it and when I go hard I blackout. I moved in saturday and I've been doing exactly that since then and I'll be doing it until monday lol
I am with the drinkers on this one. As someone who is quite introvert, nothing beats getting slammed on beer, vodka or whatever there is, including disgusting sambuca shots. At least when under the influence, you really don´t give hoot when with the boys and often come out on top. Wasn´t there a saying, drunk men do not discriminate & aren´t choosy.
On a serious note, Is slamming at least 5 beers everynight such a bad deal?
Quick Stories:
As a house party is winding down, me and 3 other guys drive to Jack in the Box (open 24 hours). We’re all pretty slammed and are barely able to navigate the car through the take out. We challenge the biggest guy in our group (roughly 300 pounds) to eat 40 tacos. He eats all of them, but we all lose as he pukes in the car on the way home.
Same big guy, at his birthday party: Being 300 pounds, he can take a lot of liquor. As the night wears on, his judgment starts to become impaired. My buddies make it our mission to take him out that night. Shot after shot, the guy’s still standing until I come up with this idea. I convince him that the birthday boy needs a birthday drink, and that birthday drink should be a wine glass full of Hennessy. He downs it and 5 minutes later goes out for a piss. He doesn’t come back and we find him passed out on the lawn. It is not fun to carry in a 300 pound guy that pissed himself.
At a bar/restaurant where the waitresses get drunk with the guests: A buddy starts to get pretty faded and we notice him hitting on the waitress. They’re innocently flirting back and forth. We decide that we should help him hook up with the waitress so we encourage more and more drinking. Soon, they’re doing body shots off each other and they eventually leave together. The next day, we ask him how last night was and he says he doesn’t want to talk about it. The waitress he took home was over 40 years old, more than a few pounds overweight, and had bucked teeth to go along with her Justin Beiber haircut.
I was in Virginia Beach with a few friends (no idea why we ended up there, just did it seems), and we're treating it like a third world country that we're visiting all inclusive. There's enough booze flowing at the bar and through our systems at any given time to get IlliniProgrammer drunk for 2 weeks straight. So anyways we're walking back to the beach one night and my buddy stumbles over the curb, attracting the attention of the Law.
The cop was flat out a pretty decent man, who just gives my friend, who we'll call Ramon, a warning and sends us on our way. Of course in his haze, Ramon thinks he's America's most wanted and sprints off into the dark. He gets found about an hour later, hiding in a bush. On his way to the drunk tank, the cruiser cruises past our other buddy who we were split up from. This friend, who we'll call Carlos, decides to be a good friend and insists on accompanying belligerent Ramon to the tank.
The friends disappear for about 36 hours.
After many increasingly angry phone calls, and repeated denials that our friends ever existed, we find Carlos and Ramon. Turns out, Canadian drivers licenses look fake to terrorist-terrified American wardens. After Carlos and Ramon failed to produce passports (which were safe in our room, far out of their recently-jailed reach), the local cops deemed Carlos and Ramon were not Canadians at all, but instead illegal mexican immigrants. They were then handed over to the Department of Homeland Security, who tossed them in the state penn with REAL illegal mexican immigrants and proceeded to forget they existed.
After several heated phone calls and an after hours meeting with a Homeland Security agent in the alley behind the DHS building (seriously), Carlos and Ramon, my pale white Canadian friends, are released back into the wild.
We extended our stay two days to give our new convict friends the party they deserved.
^^^ that is too funny.
One of my friends goes to a strip club on a week night to pick up a jacket he had left there. He wakes up the next morning in jail with no idea why. Hes relieved when he finds out its only a public intoxication and goes to get his car from the police impound, only to find its been totally destroyed. After looking at his police files we determined that he was found passed out in the passenger seat of his wrecked car on the side of the road. Apparently he had been hit by another drunk driver and was smart enough in his drunken stupor to move to the passenger seat and tell the cops the driver had run off.
LOL
Great stories guys. Glad to see others enjoying their youth.
hahahaha
Proforma not funny....
(waits for all button down types to leave the board)
soooo funny
Me and some buddies in my frat went to Vegas last year over labor day weekend actually. We had been drinking all day maybe doing some drugs too just living it up Vegas style. We were at Tau Beach all day throwing back shots of patron and bud lights all day. After Tau Beach we go back to our suite at the Venetian pass out for a few hours before the real party starts at XS. We wake up to our alarms still drunk at about 830 all shower make ourselves a few jack and cokes and get ready to go to XS. My buddy is puking in the toilet before getting into the shower. You know its going to be a great night. We get to XS about 1030 and get escorted to our table directly on the dance floor. We were talking to girls all night dancing, drinking, having a great time, we were all sure we were all going home with girl.
At about 330 am we have no girls with us just our empty glasses and empty bottles of $450 grey goose. We say fuck it lets go to the casino play a little blackjack have a few beers. Keep in mind we are all boarderline blacked out and were probably being "those guys" but hey its Vegas theres no other way to do it.
Somehow we end up at a trashy ass strip club by about 5 am and decide to order a bottle of crown to our table. My buddy is fucking in love with this stripper just feeding her $$$ (She is a pretty thick black bitch who definitely smelled like shit. They start getting down making out and shit (this was a pretty fuckin trashy strip club no high class strippers get down like this haha) She finally takes him into the VIP room to give him a private dance. About 20 minutes and probably close to $250 in to the room my friend fucking runs out and yells at us and tells us to get the fuck out of there. We get outside and that infamous Vegas sunrise hits our eyes as we open the doors of the joint. We ask our friend what happened but he absolutely refuses to tell us what happened. The next day we wake up around 3 pm go to a late breakfast and finally he tells us. Hes making out with this stripper and goes to touch her pussy over her underwear and much to his surprise it is not a woman. And she said something along the lines don't tell me your surprised honey. This is the straight fucking truth. It was fun telling this story to our entire fraternity and my buddy has never lived this down.
To VTech, good luck with your anti alchol attitude on the Street. I am only a senior but from my internship this past summer and a conference I was able to go to with the company I worked for, almost everyone drinks and you will get a lot of shit for being a junior guy that doesn't drink (I saw it with my own eyes this summer). If your not a recovering addict or way to fucking religious, loosen up have a few drinks and enjoy life, you only live once and we work way to fucking hard (at least I will be next year) to not enjoy it.
My buddies and I always had a strange relationship to piss and shit. One was notorious for frequently shitting himself. I remember waking up one morning as he was loudly insulting by-standers in front of our house (we lived in the centre), with no pants in sight and his t-shirt full of shit.
Another of my friends would always piss himself and had theories about it. The piss would wake him up, he would flip his mattress over and go back to bed. Also we would consider that he'd gotten intimate with a new girlfriend when he would have peed on her after a night out - surprisingly, I can't remember a girl for whom it was a dealbreaker
Last one. We would have "house parties" were beer would be flowing freely and so you would kind of lose track of which glass you were actually drinking. A rule was that you could only go to the bathroom at pre-defined intervals but with heavy drinking obeying this was obviously difficult. So we'd often pee discreetly in an empty glass. Anyway, I had done just that 10 minutes ago and ended up giving the aforementioned glass to a friend of mine, who actually drank from it until I couldn't cover my laughter anymore. He was so drunk he didn't realise how warm the glass was. I was rather drunk as well so I then drank some of his sympathetically.
Good times... People at my firm drink quite a lot too. It encourages bonding. I remember some associate giving me a bro hug at the end of my first night out as an intern.
PS: VA Tech: I actually understand. I drink much, much less now. Especially as I'd like to get married and that kind of stuff. But please create your own topic on alcoholism and don't ruin this one.
^^^ THAT'S more like it.
You guys are renewing my faith in humanity.
I'll refrain from telling my own stories for now, but let me introduce you to Tucker Max. I'm sure most of you have probably heard of him (I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell), but if you haven't seen his website yet or read his book, he's got some pretty wild stories. http://www.tuckermax.com/
The night before graduation me and my buddies had been partying like Van Halen groupies at a downtown bar. Obviously forgoing a cab ride for the convenience of ones own craft, we head back in my buddies jeep cherokee with a car load of people. Flashback: earlier in the afternoon, having given up all responsibility after exams, we were hitting the peace pipe and happened to come across Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift on the boobtube. Having never seen this movie in our right states of mind we became fascinated with this idea of "drifting" into turns. This was a bad seed to plant in the blackout subconscious.
We pull into my buddies apartment complex having dropped off all but myself and another friend. There has been a slight drizzle so the road was wet. He turns to me in the passenger seat and gives me one of those looks that we have all seen before. Something to the effect of "I know I shouldnt do this but give me a nudge over the edge and I'm doing it." It was like telepathy. I simply stared but and gave him a shit eating grin. His foot hit the gas. Going 40 mph into this turn in the parking lot he throws on the e-brake slides into the turn but the tires never gain traction and the jeep slides side first into three other vehicles. Shock sets in. A dodge neon and two other cars look to be completely destroyed. His car is smoking but still running.
He gives me the look again. This time it is a "Holy F*ck what do I do now!" Meanwhile our friend is laughing hysterically in the back like a 12 year old school girl. In our four years, we had had many run-ins with the university police and werre the Osama Bin Ladens of their most wanted list. it was the night before graduation. Being the friend that I am, I simply tell him to drive. I live half a mile away and have garage in my house and we park his battered car in the garage. My logic is competely flawed at this point. I decide to drive him home because we have to be up to graduate in the morning. I get back to his complex and there are four cop cars there and half the neighborhood is outside from the noise. I blackout.
The next day this is the talk of the graduating class and rumors are all over the place (I had a graduating class of 700). We successfully make it out of graduation and he makes up some ludicris story about his car being in the shop. The first week goes by and nothing happens. I get a call from a frantic friend ssaying that the cops have shown up at his house in Virginia asking about the incident and telling his parents that he was the lead suspect in a hit and run. I tell him to get an attourney. He ends up settling all the charges and pays for the claims under the defence "I left a note, but it was raining so it washed away."
Moral of the story: when a friend gives you "the look" think twice and if nobody talks everyone walks
ABSOLUTELY EPIC.
Reminds me of a short one. My buddy and I were drinking at a bar near his house and we were both as fucked up as a soup sandwich. I opted for a cab home, but he decided to drive his big old burly Cadillac back to the ranch. When he was about a block away from home, he totally burgered a parked car on his street. His car was toast, but he lived at the bottom of a hill so he was able to coast home and pass out, knowing that if he hung around it was a sure DUI.
The next morning he is woken by the cops. He's had enough time to sober up by now, so at least the DUI is off the table. They walk him out to his driveway (he parked the car in his garage), and there is a trail of oil and transmission fluid leading from the wrecked car up the hill all the way to his garage door. Classic. He told the cops a cat ran in front of his car and he swerved but he didn't want to wake his neighbor up that late at night, but that he was going to see him that morning.
Words of wisdom for the lucky few still in college: get a roommate that's a bartender. Having only to pay tip at his establishment will do wonders for your social life.
This is a prime example of a journalist who has no idea what he/she is talking about because he/she didn't adequately review the study. Check the source seriously.
"Compared to moderate drinkers, abstainers in the study sample included many former problem drinkers and individuals with more health problems and health risk factors (such as lower physical activity and more cigarette smoking) compared to moderate drinkers."
"The next morning he is woken by the cops. He's had enough time to sober up by now, so at least the DUI is off the table. They walk him out to his driveway (he parked the car in his garage), and there is a trail of oil and transmission fluid leading from the wrecked car up the hill all the way to his garage door. Classic. He told the cops a cat ran in front of his car and he swerved but he didn't want to wake his neighbor up that late at night, but that he was going to see him that morning."
Haha, avoid the DUI like the plague. I would have loved to been a fly on the streetlight for that.
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