Part 1: My Pursuit of Happyness
Before I announce what I am planning to do for WSO, it will help to speak briefly about my background - I am turning 27. I left home at the age of 18. I came from a middle class in a very poor nation with extreme political instability. I attended college on scholarships that covered most of my tuitions. I worked on campus, did relevant internships as well as attended school full time.
For the last nine years, I have taught to take care of myself. Previous seven years were harsh living by myself, but this period (May 2010 to May 2011) was one of the most difficult times in my life . I completed my graduate program without an offer in hand. It was in 2010, and the world seemed to have collapsed. All the firms were laying off people. Most of the major banks had taken the bailout money and international students were no longer eligible for Visa sponsorship as a part of the bailout. Since major investment banks were the one who employed the most people, I wasn’t eligible to apply for a lot of positions.
Life became one giant question mark, and for me, it was extremely painful and stressful. I went through an emotional journey to rebuild my identity, get in shape and find a purpose in life. It wasn’t easy but I am glad that I came out stronger at the end.
Started Out With This
My self-development journey started in May 2010. I was broke, overweight and single. The money that I had saved up was slowly running out. My credit cards reached its limits and I was $15,000 in debt. After constantly overworked and being sleep deprived, combined with eating junk foods, I gained over 45 pounds to 235 lbs. I had broke up with my girlfriend of two years and it was devastating.
I had been living in a basement studio since the beginning of my graduate program. The basement always gets flooded every time when it rains heavily. Every time when it snows outside, I have to literally dig my way out the snow. No matter how much I clean this place, I still see rats and roaches running around from time to time. In the summer, the basement becomes unbearably hot. In the winter, the place gets really cold. Since I paid a fixed rate for utility, my landlord did not allow me to turn on AC in the summer and always turned off the heaters at night in the winter to save electricity. I was broke and I can’t complain since I didn’t have extra money to pay for it.
My home country continued to be in a political turmoil and there was no way that I could return back home. Most importantly, my self-esteem would not let me. I could not bear the thought of walking out on myself. I told my parents to give me one year to do what I want with my life. If at the end of the one year, I were to failed, I will pack my bags and leave this country.
Although my experience wasn't as horrible as Will Smith's character, Chris Gardner in the movie "The Pursuit of Happyness", I experienced similar low point in my life and I am grateful for everyone who had helped me along the way.
At The End of The Tunnel
On April 20th 2011, at 1:00pm, I finally got a call that I have been waiting for. After applying 800+ jobs, talking to 600+ people and 35+ interviews, I was offered a Research Associate position at a Boutique. I couldn’t believe that I was hearing this. That day, I took a day off from my consulting job and was walking around Union Square. I stood there silently for a few minutes without knowing how to react from the call that I just received. Then, I cried intensely. I had been holding out all the self-doubts until this point. I had heard enough of repeated criticisms without having anyone to tell me that I was on the right path. I was told continuously that “I wasn’t good enough” and that “I don’t have the right background”. Most importantly, this was the self-validation that I was looking for: I didn’t walk out on myself, I didn’t give up, I didn’t quit on myself.
Almost one year after May 2010, I am rightfully employed and pursuing my career. I have lost 45 lbs to a healthy weight at 190 lbs. And my dating life has been going well. I met my current girlfriend while I was still broke. As of today, I have paid off all my debts from my last year’s bonus. I have been living together with my girlfriend in a one bedroom apartment at a nice neighborhood.
I finished my dating blog, which led me to write for Men's Psychology. Through my self discovery journey, I was able to use what I have learned in helping 1) two of my guy friends get married, 2) two of my other guy friends in getting their girlfriends, and 3) another two of my guy friends have become very successful in dating. I have also took my time to help others in securing internships and landing full time positions. This has also led me to spend more time on WSO to help out any Prospective Monkeys.
Next post will cover what I did to get to where I want to go and who I want to be.
My Story:
Part 1: My Pursuit of Happyness
Part 2: My Pursuit of Happyness
See my previous posts in this series:
Day 1: To Be A Better Man
Day 2: Healthy Competition Among Mature Men
Day 3: I HATE YOU
Day 4: SWAG, Do You Have It?
Day 5: Word of Advice
Day 6: 10 Important Life Lessons
Day 7: Unofficial Guide to Banking & Dating
Bonus: Previous Useful Posts






Comments
So did you ever contact/run
So did you ever contact/run into your ex?
Good Job !
Good Job !
Rambo: So did you ever
So did you ever contact/run into your ex?
No, I have not talked to my ex.
"I am the hero of the story. I don't need to be saved."
Always always follow your
Always always follow your post! I am from middle class family in a developing country as well, may even mean poor in the US. Got scholarship and worked 40hrs a week, that is why I am still here in the US. I hope I could end up with a job too.
I'd give you 100 silver
I'd give you 100 silver bananas if I could. Proud of you, man.
Very motivational story.
Very motivational story. Thank you. I hope all of your friends and family are proud of you and appreciate you.
Rambo: So did you ever
So did you ever contact/run into your ex?
Why would he want to do that ?
Revenge is for little babies and showing her how he is better now is practice is futility.
Amazing post. I got a bit
Amazing post. I got a bit emotional when reading this. Although I did not have the same adversity as the OP, I can empathize with his struggles. Incredible story and mad props to you.
I'm curious to know more about your writings on dating and the type of advice you have given to your friends. Social life is one area where I'm struggling immensely.
Brady4MVP: Amazing post. I
Amazing post. I got a bit emotional when reading this. Although I did not have the same adversity as the OP, I can empathize with his struggles. Incredible story and mad props to you.
I'm curious to know more about your writings on dating and the type of advice you have given to your friends. Social life is one area where I'm struggling immensely.
Hi Brady, if you were interested you can look at my blog: http://thesummereffects.com/. Everything has been indexed accordingly. I have written most of the materials and have properly referenced whenever I am using other people's materials. I also write for http://www.menspsychology.com/.
In term of dating advice, especially for friends who are having troubles getting a girlfriend, I help them go through two processes: 1) Inner Game and 2) Outer Game.
Inner Game: I actually spend a lot of time talking to them to solidify what they want in their lives. I talk to them about everything other than dating. This is because I believe that without building a strong character, without being happy with one's career, without being financial responsible and without having a healthy lifestyles, you cannot really address any of the dating issues. Teaching someone how to attract someone (like Pick Up Artists) without addressing other important areas of life would not be effective.
Outer Game: For this, I actually focus more on teaching people how to communicate. Also on how to view things from the female's perspective. I also encourage them on Public Speaking courses like http://www.toastmasters.org/. I also refer them also to reading materials on non-verbal communication. I also personally take them out to shop for clothes that make them look good without breaking the bank. I also help to list out all the social events in town with a social calendar, where they can practice their communication skill. I also offer advice where to go for a date, how to text and most importantly how to convert a casual dating into an official relationship.
"I am the hero of the story. I don't need to be saved."
blueslord2910: Always always
Always always follow your post! I am from middle class family in a developing country as well, may even mean poor in the US. Got scholarship and worked 40hrs a week, that is why I am still here in the US. I hope I could end up with a job too.
If there is anything that I can do to help, do let me know.
"I am the hero of the story. I don't need to be saved."
Human: blueslord2910: Alway
Always always follow your post! I am from middle class family in a developing country as well, may even mean poor in the US. Got scholarship and worked 40hrs a week, that is why I am still here in the US. I hope I could end up with a job too.
If there is anything that I can do to help, do let me know.
For sure. Are you going to the WSO conference? I am thinking of it!
^^^Most likely, I would be
^^^Most likely, I would be able to make it.
"I am the hero of the story. I don't need to be saved."
Human: ^^^Most likely, I
^^^Most likely, I would be able to make it.
^^ Cool
Congrats Human, you're the
Congrats Human, you're the man!
Well done Human! The Pursuit
Well done Human! The Pursuit of Happyness is my favorite movie, and I definitely used it for strength when my job efforts were looking bleak. However, you're story is incredible! Looking forward to reading Part 2. I wish you the best of luck in your current and future endeavors.
Awesome stuff, +1!
do you have a book deal yet?
This truly inspired me!!
No wonder your
"Dont compromise yourself; you're all you've got" - Janis Joplin
"That day, I took a day off
RIP WSO Chat.
Very touching post. Thanks
"Well, you know, I was a human being before I became a businessman." -- George Soros
febreeze: "That day, I took a
"I am the hero of the story. I don't need to be saved."
Congrats, man. Glad
RIP WSO Chat.
Good for you man.
That's an amazing story. I
DUUUUDE you're the man. Bonus
YOU JUST GOT TROLLED
http://www.troll.me/images/red-foreman322/dont-you...
Awesome story, way to beat
Great great story my man.
Eventus stultorum magister.
Great post, and congrats on
-MBP
Johnny Ringo: Not to be a
"I am the hero of the story. I don't need to be saved."
UFOinsider: DUUUUDE you're
"I am the hero of the story. I don't need to be saved."
Great story man, I'm glad
Gate_Crasher: Good Job
"I am the hero of the story. I don't need to be saved."
Downeasta: I'd give you 100
"I am the hero of the story. I don't need to be saved."
God of Wine: Very
"I am the hero of the story. I don't need to be saved."
SlikRick: Well done Human!
"I am the hero of the story. I don't need to be saved."
RagnarDanneskjold: Awesome
"I am the hero of the story. I don't need to be saved."
MissNG: No wonder your
"I am the hero of the story. I don't need to be saved."
Awesome story! Stories and
It sounds to me as if
Great fuckin story truly
Really awesome story, thanks
Awesome, always love reading
Sometimes lies are more dependable than the truth.
Amazing story,
It's a nice story. A little
I was given so much more than
Phenomenal story. Very
A lot of people do certain things to add days to their life. I do things to add life to my days.
MonyetProboscis: Awesome
"I am the hero of the story. I don't need to be saved."
TheKid1: Great fuckin story
"I am the hero of the story. I don't need to be saved."
Amphipathic: Really awesome
"I am the hero of the story. I don't need to be saved."